Out in the Mountains

    

Notes from School

by Guen Gifford

Being a lesbian in high school can be
bearable these days, especially compared
to the stories of how things were twenty,
even ten years ago. I’m fortunate to know
people who are gay whom I like and ap-
prove of. I try to absorb enough affirmation
from them to keep myself whole in my
head, since I'm not really a full person in
most of my school life.

In a way I feel likel shouldn’t find fault
in conditions today, since I haven’t been
beaten up in the locker room or ostracized
or harrassed for not hiding the fact that I’m
gay. But now that I can exist and not fear
much for my physical and mental wellbe-
ing, I can begin to see farther, to notice all
the small manifestations of prejudice.

Although things have improved a lot in
recent years, people still basically avoid

dealing with the fact that I’m gay. Even ’

those who know officially - and others who
must have guessed by now - don’t bring it
up, and get very quiet when I do. I don’t
want to think that people don’t care about
my experience. Butl do think that some are
scared to be concerned about what is still a
taboo subject to a lot of people. After all,
white people can feel strongly and speak
out about, say, civil rights in South Africa
- no one is going to accuse them of being
black. (Some day people will also have to
stop letting the guilt-by-association ploy
scare them off, but for now it is still a very
real threat.)

Also, I think that my straight class-
mates and teachers have no concept of how
it is to be reminded at every turn of the dif-
ferences between our emotional and intel-
lectual worlds. I feel it every time some kid
yells “Aw shut up, you fag” down the hall.
Every time my English teacher talks about
the proverbial gallant gentleman carrying
off his lady love as if there were no other
option for either of the two lovers. And he
jokes that any female employer insulted by
a letter addressed Dear Sir “probably has a
full moustache and combat boots and you
wouldn't want to work for her anyway.”
(Yes, that is a direct quote.)

In other words, all feminists are
doomed to be bitchy, unlikeable Amazon
dikes - certainly an undesirable fate. Iresort
to writing furious notes in the margin of my
notebook.

I feel it when I sit through weeks of
birth control discussions in Health class. I
think birth control is a very important issue,
but I resent the underlying assumption that
every one of us is heterosexual. I dream of
raising my hand andrequesting apass to the
cafeteria. “Seeing as I'm a lesbian. this
really doesn’t interest or concern me di-
rectly,” I’d say as they brought out the
broom handle for condom demonstration.

I feel it when our soccer coach includes
a charming little summary of our high
school years in a lecture on being respon-
sible. “First you rode to practice on your
bicycles, now you have cars. And with cars
come boyfriends, and then parties, and
difficult decisions.” (I wonder - do girl-
friends lead to the same dangers?)

I feel it when people, even friends who
know I’m gay and seem accepting, com-
plain about a stupid assignment, “Oh, this is
so queer!” Or scorn some particularly ob-
noxious classmate, “He’s such a queer.”

Even if I forget how much I censor my
comments and jokes, even if I remind
myself of what understanding and support
has come my way, even if I try to appreciate
the perspective I have gained on our society
by being part of a minority, I still see a lot
to change for the next generation of young
gay men and women.

We need to feel comfortable speaking
out when we are young, and we need to end
this isolation from our peers. Being here
now it seems impossible, but when I look
back at what today’s adults lived through as
gay youth, I see that progress does happen.
I'll try to remember that in school tomor-
row

Social Alternatives

There's a new organization for Gay
People in Vermont called Vermont Gay
Social Alternatives (VGSA). The group
was formed “to promote social events that
will not only bring together gays from the
same or neighboring communities, but also
statewide," and to provide more occasions
for gay people to gather socially, “thus
bringing about a stronger gay community
in Vermont.”

For additional infonnation, contact
Real Masson, Director of VGSA at 893-
6935, or write (with SASE) to VGSA, PO
Box 277, Winooski, Vermont 05404-
0277.

Women's Raffle

Burlington’s Women Helping Bat-
tered Women are holding a raffle with
tickets for sale from March 15 - May 12,
1990 (Mom‘s Day). The $40,000 raised
will end a three-year, $200,000 Capital
Campaign. 450 tickets are being sold at
$100 each with a one in ten chance of
winning some nifty prizes - Le Grande
Prize being a new Ford Tempo courtesy of
Nordic Ford. Call 658-3131 for more infor-
mation.

Workshop:

Women Loving Women

Exploring Love
and Relationship

Deanna Alpert 0 CCSW

Pathways

323 Pearl Street

Burlington, VT

05401 Insurance

862.0836 Benefits
Accepted