ti Learning (from page 1;

l I have not been in a committed mo-
(, nogamous relationship since 1982. I’ve
lbeen too scared. Being non-monogamous
, has allowed me to love, but not too much.
7It’s allowed me to explore my sexual self
lwithout making myself too emotionally
l vulnerable. I didn’t have a lot of expecta-
rlions. I didn’t allow a lot of expectations
ifrom my lovers. I kept that tender place
'within my heart well protected.

, I’ve learned a multitude of lessons
over the years. I’ve learned that I am an

lincest survivor. Consequently a lot of my

i insecurities, fears and fucked-up behaviors

{stem from past traumas, and don’t neces-

lsarily have anything to do with what’s

I happening now. I have got to be careful not

‘lo respond to current situations based on

,left over shit from the past.

‘ I’ve learned not to “act out” when I’m
feeling jealous. I acknowledge my jealousy
and deal with it myself unless I need to talk

labout it. I’ve learned that honesty and trust

‘go hand in hand. If I don’t trust someone
enough to truthfully share my feelings with
rlhem, then the deep bond of friendship/
‘lovership will not form. I’ve learned to
allow myself to be scared and to take re-
‘sponsibility for my actions when I make
mistakes. I’ve learned that one woman will
never satisfy all of my needs. It’s unfair to
have this expectation of anyone. Friends
are just as important to my life as lovers are.

I’ve learned that the direction of a
relationship cannot be figured out in my
lead. Everything we put enery into gives us
something back, but it may not be exactly
what we wanted. I may not always get what
lwant but I usually get what I need even if
ldon’t realize it until after the fact. I’ve
learned to give and accept love completely,
removing the protective shield from my
heart. I only protect my heart from people I
tense are out of balance with themselves. If
shedoesn’t love herself, she certainly is not
gonna be able to love me positively. I’ve
learned that I’m ready to work towards
being in a monogamous relationship.
- I So this is where I’m at in my thirty-
; "lid year. I’ll probably be in a different
1 llace, with diffent * lessons learned, ten
, iears from now. That’s the joy of getting
llder. Learning, growing and changing. As
ling as I continue to be myself, trust my-
ilf, love myself, I can’t and won’t go
ir0ng_

 

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