If I Were a Homophobe

by Clove

Some people want OITM to be a tool
for cultivating allies. That got me thinking.
If I were homophobic, but willing to be won
over (ignorant and scared, but not hateful),
mink I would most want to know that
lesbians and gays were just like me. I’d
want to read about the lesbian store clerk as
the extra friendly one in town - who better
not get fired; a gay dairy farmer as just
another farmer - who better not be denied
insurance; the older lesbian nurse at the
hospital - who better not get evicted from
her apartment; the gay student who plays
tennis with my son - who better not get beat
up by bigots.

After all that sunk in, I’d like some
reassuring answers like: “I don’t know why
I'm gay; I've always had women friends,
butI’ve only fallen in love with men.” “My
family was pretty shocked at first, but after
they talked to an accepting minister and
they noticed that I was the same person, it
stopped being an issue.” “Oh, I don’t l_'_1l;e
making a big deal about what should be a
private matter, but until we have the same
basic job security as everybody else, I need

to educate people that they won’t catch
queemess or even AIDS, from being on a
town committee with me.”

Then I’d like to get used to being
around out lesbians and gay men. That
would probably be enough to calm my fears
about civil rights. If more questions came
up, I’d know where to get answers.

But I’m not a homophobe; I’m a dyke.
Not since I was a teenager coming outas the
only lesbian I knew, have I needed the
simple reassurances that we're regular
folks.

Now what I want from Verrnont’s
(only) Newspaper for Lesbians and Gay
Men is information. I want to know what’s
happening in the legislature, the media, and
the rest of the straight world that affects me
specifically as a queer. I want to know what
lesbian events are happening and what
groups are meeting. I also want a place to
dialogue about issues within our communi-
ties. Simply having the paper be a “source
of information” and a forum for discussion,
gives me “support and afiirmation” as a
lesbian, gives me a “vehicle for celebration
of the goodness and diversity of the lesbian

and gay community.” (The quotes are from
the published OITM purpose statement).

Some readers want to keep sex out of
this paper. I don’t think erotica, or fiction of
any kind, belongs in OITM, but keeping
g1i_s_Qussi_Q_n of sexuality out of the paper
takes away “a source of information, sup-
port and affirmation”; it does not honor
“diversity.” Sure, open discussion of our
sexuality can be used against us, so can
open discussion of lesbian battering, alco-
holism, custody battles. In a discussion of
community-building that probably any
OITM reader would find appropriate for
these pages, are we supposed to ignore the
effects non-monogarny has on our net-
works, simply because some homophobe
might twist that idea into a sexual perver-
sion? If we let their fear of our sexuality
define what is acceptable for us to write
about, look like, do, we may be a lesbian
and gay community, but we’re not a human
filgggfigg movement.

When I’m trying to convince a straight
person to support a civil rights law, I stress
what’s similar between us. (I don’t talk

(Continued onpage 14)

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