by Sue Brown
On March 2nd, David Scondras, gay
activist and Boston City Councilman,
spoke at UVM’s Living/Leaming Center,
sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian and Bisex-
ual Alliance as part of their Gay Pride
Week. In his presentation, entitled “Com-
ing Out— Creating Change,” Scondras
talked about the struggle by sexual minori-
; ties for freedom, the characteristics of free-
dom, and the obstacles impeding our prog-
ress.

V According to Scondras, across the
country we are winning the struggle for
human liberation. “We are the most vi-

i brant, energetic group in the country.” In
the past 30 years, 274 presses that publish
regularly to the gay and lesbian community
have sprung up throughout the country. In
1967 the first gay and lesbian organization
on a college campus opened up at Colum-

reating Cange

’.-J.‘

bia University. Now there are over 400
such organizations. The Democratic Na-
tional Committee recently appointed an
openly lesbian person to its board. All of
these are extraordinary events.

The question Scondras asked was not,
“Are we going to win?” but rather, “What
does winning look like?” His answer was,
“when all children come out because we
don’t assume that they are straightor gay,
then we are free,” when our freedom is
something that we take for granted. When
we define freedom in this way, we realize
that a bill in the state house is not our
ultimate goal. A law may affect behavior
but it never touches the disease itself,
namely prejudice.

Scondras informed us that getting
power is our next step toward freedom; and

with power comes respect. We have been
( Continued on page 14)

    

Out of the Closet, Into the Network Ratings

by K.K. Wilder

During the fever pitch February
sweeps on commercial television, every
talk show tried to out-sensationalize the
next. From proponents of nudism to inter-
marriage of relatives to confessions from
Prostitutes Anonymous, the boob tube
strove to titillate millions of Americans
ivhile simultaneously wooing future adver-
users to the medium.

I A blatant exploitation of human suf-
femlg aired on February 10 when the Ger-
“lilo! show presented “When the Other
Woman is a Man.” Women married or
Pfevlously married to gay men shared their
conflrcts of confusion and anger, empathy
and grief over finding out their mates were

333/; fonnerly married gay men told of their .

guilt and anguish before and after coming
011110 their wives and children.

f Rivera kept the blood flowing pro-
“Ely during the entire show. “Well, cer-
“Wily,” he baited a wife, “in twenty-five
§__

years of marriage you must have lmown!”

“So,” he pointed a cross-exarnining
finger at a formerly married gay man,
“while she was waiting at home with your
children, you were off performing your
lurid acts with other men!”

Although he assured them “we’re not
here to judge you,” Rivera was as obviously
contemptuous of the men as he was disbe-
lieving of the women who were involved
with them.

They don’t feel that way, but these
men and women are not alone. America has
an estimated two a half million married
couples wherein the husband is gay. And
that’s only the pairs who have legalized
their union. Countless others date seri-
ously, live together, or otherwise share
romantic liaisons. So far, the only interest
the media has shown in them is prurient. “I
loved a homosexual!” screams the title of
magazine stories. “Gullible, stupid me,”
the articles imply. “And double-dealing,

loathsome him!” r

The myths abound: One favorite is “he
can’tbe gay—-after all, he’s got several chil-
dren.” Or, from someone at least acknowl-
edging the man’s sexual orientation yet
determined to be judgmental: “I’ll bet he
was just involved with her for a cover-up.”
Then, there’s thecondescending, “she must
have done something really awful to make
him turn gay.” And, from the gay man
himself, way back before the relationship
even started: “If I can just find the right
woman...”

For three years, I have been talking
with such women and men from all parts of
the country. Although the circumstances
may vary, some striking commonalities
have come out of those interviews. Far
from the sensational media hype, there are
real nuts and bolts issues to address. When
a gay man comes out to his girlfriend or
wife and children, there are gentle methods

' ( Continued on page 13)

E