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Out in the Mountains I

    

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The Thoht nnection: "e

by Christine Burton

When a reader complains that my col- \

umns sound angry I am glad because to be
able to express anger is an indicator of my
growth as a person. In my childhood as the
moral values of my forbears were program-
ming me, anger was one of the cardinal
sins. Now we know anger is an appropriate
response to injustice, abuse and a host of
other destructive human behaviors. I, like
most of my female contemporaries, were
conditioned to be passive in order to please
men. Also it made us more tractable under
religious and governmental authority.

Now I have learned that the human
condition contains two kinds of human
steamrollers: 1. those who intend to com-
mit crimes against me; 2. those who care so
little about me that the result can be as
damaging as the crirninal’s intent. Also I
have learned if I am passive and apathetic,
I am the worm waiting to be flattened by the
steamroller.

I was taught that all power comes from
a transcendant male god, who would love
and protect me as long as I was good. I was
good, I obeyed their rules. Having received
no sex education (I didn't know men did
that), I was the victim of gang rape (two
men). I learned that god does not protect the
good and innocent (read ignorant). Obser-
vation has shown me he does not feed the
birds of the air as the bible promises; vast
numbers of them starve to death.

I have learned that I have a right to
express anger so long as my anger does not
imitate the injustice and violence that
caused my anger. I am of anew mind, a new
way of thinking.

I am not alone. Through the decades
since anger was a cardinal sin, and god took
care of you, the ideas and concepts of more
and more people have changed till new age
thinking has become a cultural phenome-

non. Marilyn Ferguson in her book, m;
A ' n ' , calls it “a paradigm
shift,” which she defines as “a dramatic
revolution of understanding, a sudden lib-
eration from old limits on thinking.” Dur-
ing 1988, our news media made us aware of
a paradigm shift: Gorbachev embodied it in
his concept of ggsgm and it has become
global during the last few months. No
longer is it politically popular for one na-
tion to hate another nation. The entire
population is not converted, but the libera-
tion from old limits on thinking makes
improvement possible.

Iarn angry that our military complex is
permitted to rip off our government. I am
angry when I realize that only feeble steps
are being taken against the rapidly rising
power of hate organizations. I am angry
when I know anti-abortionists scream
“You’re murdering yourbaby” at teenagers
who must have an abortion because they are
too young for motherhood. I am angry
when I hear toughs call a gentle, well-
behaved boy a “damned faggot.” I am
angry when I hear a small boy make frm of
a girl because she is not a boy. I am angry
when I see pictures of the starved bones of
dying women, children and men. I am
angry that our planet is being destroyed. I
am angry when I see the demeaning pres-
sures of a homophobic society cause a split
in lesbian relationships. And because I
know the word processor is mightier than
the sword I must state my anger as strongly
as my talent and writing skills permit.

I feel a responsibility to be angry.
Without anger I would have no spine.
Without anger, mine would be a pastel,
one-sided world of non-reality. One must
be angry or pretend one lives in a Pollyanna
land, a pretense that would hasten total
destruction of all us all.

Anger is a powerful electro—chemical

 

  

Rage

     

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I /  ..r .-'a-.-:
h i n ki n g"
vibration that moves through the brain and
out through the skull, like the waves begun
by a pebble thrown into a pond. It may
reach infinity. Who knows? And on its way
it may touch the brains of others. With
repetition and time, it could create another .
paradigm shift. If enough of us are suffi-
ciently angry about injustice, in time injus-
tice will weaken its hold on the self-serv- ,
ing

The homophobia in our society must
be attacked in many ways, at all levels and
without diminishing’ our efforts. Some-
times I think the most powerful way and
one that is most unused is the simple act of

coming out of the closet. Every atom of '

energy we use to conceal what we are,
increases the power of those who are
against us. By living openly, totally open ,
without sham or subterfuge, we increase
our own self-esteem. Peop1e’s acceptance

of us is inspired by our own self-accep ,.
By chanellingourangerintoanintense ~
glow of rage without hatred, our love forall '
that is good, true and beautiful is liberated
and becomes more powerful. We createa
new self, a new world and a new age.

An Announcement

Dear OITM:

I haven’t seen many anniversary an-
nouncements in the newsletter, lately. So .
now must be the time for this one which has
been kicking around in my head for years:

Ellen G. Bresler is happy to armounce
that she is STILL TOGETHER AFIER 35
YEARS.

 

 

Thanks for (y)our newspaper. Ellen-
PS. I always like to send my mom a blfli" I
day present on my birthday. I hope ‘mg 1
issue to be this year’s. |

4.4

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