Out in the Mountains

The following article was censored
from the pages of Vermont Woman by the
publisher because of its lesbian content.

Vermont Woman Responds:

Vermont Woman is a small women's
newspaper with a broad—based readership.
We are entirely supported by advertising
revenue and we struggle to survive. Decid-
ing not to publish this column was one of
the most difficult decisions we have had to
make in our three year history.

(Signed)

Suzanne Gillis
Publisher

Michele Patenaude
Editor

by Euan Bear

Ever since the National Organization
for Women purged its openly lesbian
members in the early seventies, it has been
hard for lesbian feminists to trust hetero-
sexual feminists politically or personally.
That struggle occurred again during the
Vermont ERA battle. Conservative
(heterosexual) feminists asked lesbians to
go hide for the duration so the opposition
wouldn’tuse us against them. Each side has
poured rivers of rhetoric and pounds of pain
into the argument.

The issue of trust between feminists of
differing sexual preference remains prob-
lematic and incredibly personal.

A few years ago, I asked a married
woman friend, I’ll call her Jane, to come
march with me in the Gay and Lesbian
Pride March in Burlington. She said no,

that wasn’t something she could do. She
could stand on the sidelines and cheer us on,
but she couldn’t actually march and have
all those people look at her and think she
was a lesbian. She said she could be at the
rally, but she couldn’t march.

That year Jane never showed up.
Company arrived just as she was ready to

.3-

Bulld Bridges, ot Walls

leave, she said. Besides, she didn’t really
want to be at the rally under false pretenses,
she said. She didn’t want all those lesbians
to mistake her for one of them.

“Why?” I asked. “When you’re so safe
in this society with your heterosexual cre-
dentials! When no one is smashing your
mailbox and stuffing it alternately with
obscenely violent misogynist material and
pre-printed sermons on Sodom and
Gomorrah!” I said. “Why can’t you stand
up with me and say, ‘No one should be
discriminated against because of their sex-
ual preference: I’m one of you heterosexu-
als, but if you’re going to hate queers,
you’re going to have to hate me too.’ The
only answer I can think of is that deep
down, you’re just as afraid of homosexual-
ity as the most rabid ri ghtwin g redneck, but
you’re just too ‘liberal’ to show it.”

We had a riproaring fight. But time
went by and we valued each other’s friend-
ship too much to let this issue destroy it. The
next year Jane came to the rally, and stood
on the sidelines to cheer us on, but she still
wouldn’t march. I realized that was a big
step for her, even while part of me wanted
her to understand that if I had to live with
heterosexual prejudice all the time, she
should be able to handle it for one day.

I visit Jane and her family when I can-
-I enjoy their company. She has not visited
me and my lover so far, though the last time
we spoke of a visit, Jane said, “Yeah,
maybe me and my husband will come over
for coffee some Sunday morning.” She
never otherwise refers to him as “my hus-
band”--she always refers to him by name.

Jane would deny that she meant any-
thing by the unusual emphasis, or that she is
uncomfortable with my being a lesbian.

I don’t fight it with her any more. I file
it away that I cannot trust Jane to support
me on this issue when push comes to shove.

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And when I hear how “my husband” gets
emphasized, I shrug my shoulders and let it
go.

Just last month I invited a bunch of 
friends over for a woodstacking party-- i
work, food, and fun. Most were lesbians. |
One, whom I’ll call Lydia, now identifies
herself as bisexual, though she called her- l
self a lesbian for many years. '

We talked about politics, the election,
Holly Near’s benefit concert for Bernie l
Sanders’ congressional campaign. Some of
us are disappointed that Near has changed I
her musical focus away from addressing l
the lesbian community and toward main-
stream styles and messages--genderless i
love songs and liberal politics. (Those who
went said it was a concert from the “old i
days”--lots of politics, naming many op- i
pressed communities including gays and ‘
lesbians.) Referring to Holly Near, some- i
one said, “I have a hard time with ‘fonner' ‘
lesbians.” I saw Lydia cringe.

Later we discussed the international l
literacy work of a woman relatively un-
known in this country. “She wasn’t a les- l
bian,” said one. “You’d like to think sucha l
wonderful woman was, but she wasn’t.”
There were other comments suggesting l
that unless a woman is a lesbian, her work, I
her life, her love are less important, less
valid than those of lesbians. |

Lydia left the room to cry about how I
unsafe she feels, both in the heterosexual
world and in the lesbian community.
Where, she wants to know, is there a place 3
for her, where she is not judged on the basis
of her sexual preference? l

I know--the other lesbians at the party
know, and Lydia knows——why lesbians
make those comments: Because there is so
little validation or acceptance of us as les- '
bians in the rest of the world, we fightback
with their own ammunition, discounting
the achievements of those not like us.

It is understandable, perhaps even
more so than the thoughtless or deliberate
discrimination by the overwhelming
heterosexual majority who should feel
secure, given the constant barrage of llfil
propaganda we all live with. It is under‘
standable, but not excusable. If what We
want is a world that accepts all of us based
on our worth as individuals and not on Qlll
sexual preference, we cannot afford to glV9
in to the very “us” and “them” attitudes that
promote our own oppression.

And that is what I want. I’m nota l

(Continued on paLm j