by Sue Brown

“Adults Molested as Children: A Sur-
vivor’s Manual for Women and Men” is a
sensitive, informative, and straightforward
guide written from the survivor’s perspec-
tive. It takes the reader through the process
of remembering and contending with the
effects of childhood sexual abuse.
Throughout the book, Euan Bear supports
the feelings and experiences of those who
have been abused, as well as providing
survivors with alternative ways of thinking
and feeling about themselves, and about the
abuse. “Abuse is something that is done to
us. It is not who we are” is a message that
echoes throughout the book.

The author begins by using statistics to
illustrate the pervasiveness of sexual
abuse. A definition of abuse is given along
with the clear message that the molester,
not the child, is responsible for the abuse.
Once the survivor begins to remember and
confront their history, it is explained that
childhood feelings of “pain, shame, guilt,
humiliation and fear” are often re-experi-

enced. Suggestions for dealing with these
feelings are given and these include break-
ing the silence by telling people about the
abuse, confronting the abuser, and joining
a support group or individual therapy.

In order to deal with the abuse, chil-
dren often develop coping methods which
are not always useful in adult life, such as
numbing feelings or acting out. Survivors
are encouraged to view these of strengths
since they allowed the child to survive a
painful childhood.

Bear includes a discussion of mental
health, social service and legal agencies
and some of the difficulties encountered by
survivors using these services. This book
also offers support for survivors in main-
taining their basic rights, and methods for
remaining powerful within these systems.

Although directed to survivors of
childhood sexual abuse, this book is also
useful for those who are not. Friens, lovers
and family members may use it as a means
for better understanding the victim’s feel-
ings and experiences, and as a way to facili-
tate communication between themselves

aigtforward Advice from a Survivor

December 1988

and the victim. Social service and legal
professionals who work with adult survi-
vors or children who have been molested
may find this guide to be a simple and
effective tool to educate themselves about
sexual abuse.

Unique to this book is that it presents

. men as possible victims of childhood sex-

ual abuse, and women as potential abusers.
Peter T. Dimock, a Minnesota social
worker, provides the necessary perspective
on issues specific to men who were mo-
lested as children.

For those people wanting a copy,
“Adults Molested as Children: A Survi-
vor’s Manual for Women and Men” is
available through Safer Society Press, New
York State Council of Churches, Shoreham
Depot Road, RRI, Box 24-B, Orwell,
Vermont 05760-9756, or at Chassman and
Bern Booksellers on Church Street in
Burlington.

 

20 Elliot Street
Brattleboro, Vermont

Downstairs in the old church

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