Volume III, Number 9 .TOut in the Mount VERMONT'S NEWSPAPER FOR LESBIANS AND GAY MEN December 1 988 atmamv by Sue Brown Euan Bear, Vermont lesbian and A writer, is author of “Adults Molested as H Children: A Survivor’s Manual forWomen and Men,” published in May of this year. Herself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Euan has spoken in front of groups and given workshops on the topic, along with establishing the first support group in Burlington for the survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Born and raised in New Hampshire, she has been active in the Vennont women’s community for the past 11 years. Her writing has appeared in OITM, Common Woman, and The Van- guard Press. When asked about her role at theVanguard, Euan explained, “Afterl was hired, the lesbian and gay community was my beat... and it was one way for us to have I a voice in a publication that had a wide ' readership.” She presently writes a column forVermontWoman and expresses a desire ‘to reach a wider audience by publishing elsewhere. l Q: What brought you to Vermont? I ‘A: I came to work with a lesbian col- _ lectrve to build an eight-sided house in a swamp....I decided to stay because I liked the community here. There was so little community where I was living in New ' Hampshire. We had a household of six i llffibians. That was pretty much the commu- 1y, . Q! How long have you been writing? A: The first piece I wrote was in col- 198%. There was a rumor floating that the ‘ Psychology department had acquired gay , male D0fI_10graphic slides and electro- l Shock equipment to treat one or more gay . me“ On Campus....so I investigated and Wrote a story about it for the campus news- Pépef. There was a lot of denial. They p thave much to say about the ethics of ‘ ‘CW8 Pain to change orientation. _Q: Who or what has influenced you as awrrter? F There are writers I admire, Ursula 11111 for one, Jill Johnston in her early L —.. —' ,.__....._. stuff, “Lesbian Nation“ for example. My stepfather was a newspaper reporter and worked his way up to managing editor of a daily newspaper. When I was writing newspaper stuff, I took him as a model. Q: How has being a lesbian influenced your writing? A: I can’t really separate it out for me. It’s all just part of me. The writing said, “O.K. look at your culture. It’s valid and here’s a way that you can say to others, this is a valid event. This is a legitimate story to cover. These are people’s lives who have meaning in the world, and which no one else is going to write about.” I tend to write about the people who don’t have as many voices or resources as the straight world. Q: Would you like to be able to make a living by your writing? A: Yes, I think so. Writing is totally absorbing and scary as hell, because you’re putting your guts out there for people to look at. It’s what you think about things. The kind of writing I want to be doing has more me in it and that’s frightening. Q: What messages would you like people to get from reading your new book? A: A lot of things. You’re not alone. It’s not your fault. You don’thave to do this process alone. It (sexual abuse) is still af- fecting you, even if you think it’s not. You can get help.... Somebody did something to you. You aren’t bad. The way it affects you is your problem but the fact of the abuse is not your problem. It’s their problem and society’s‘ problem because society still re- fuses to deal with it in an adequate way. Q: In your book you write, “Abuse is something that is done to us. It is not who we are.” Is this concept difficult for survi- vors to believe? , A: It happens on several levels. One level, before discovery as an adult, is in all the subliminal messages that tell you you’re shit, you’re stupid, you’re unlov- able, you’re a sexpot, messages that abus- ers put in our minds. After discovery, sometimes it’s a relief to know that there’s E Bear Talks About Her Work and New Book a reason why we feel hke this. After you discover and start dealing with it, you can get through it and get to a truer place of being independent and being able to make choices in your life. , Q: Are there special problems that gay and lesbian survivors face? A: Two areas that I think lesbianism specifically influences: One is the readi- ness of other people to come out with the “A-ha” response, “That’s why you’re like you are, because you had a bad experience with a man early in your life.” (This affects gay men as well as lesbians.) Also, trying to empower yourself around sexuality and at the same time trying to fight those voices that undermine self-esteem is very diffi- (Continued on page 10) V.P.R. Supports its Lesbian and Gay Friends...? See story on page 2