Dear Gertrude & Alice... Dear Gertrude and Alice: Having a problem? Do you need another opinion? Write to Gertrude and Alice, c/o Out in the Mountains, PO Box 438, Hinesburg, VT 05461 Dear Gertrude and Alice, I don’t know what has happened to my relationship with "Lori" (not her real name). We’ve been together almost a year and a half. At first, we made love often: two, sometimes three times a week. Now that we’re living together, we only make love once a week, or sometimes even less. I am satisfied, but I don’t know if Lori is. Is something wrong with us? How can I talk to Lori about this? Please help! Celibate in St. J ohnsbury Dear Celibate, . Let's see now, you are satisfied with how often you and your lover are now making love, but you are concerned that 1) you don’t feel as if it is "normal" 2) you feel uncertain that Lori’s needs are being met, and 3) you don’t know how to broach Calendar Thursday, June 4 Lesbian/Gay Pride Organizing Committee meeting in conjunction with VLGR monthly meeting. Peace & Justice Center. Burlington, 7:30 PM. ALL ARE WELCOMED AND NEEDED! Friday, June 5 Women’s Only Concert, featuring Ann Reed. 8:00 PM. Enfield, NH. $6.00 cover. More information call: (802) 295-5654 or (603) 632-5690. A BLUE MOON Production. Saturday, June 6 Integrity Service at 7:55 PM. Social at 8:45 PM. St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, VT. Monday, June 8 VT CARES Grand Opening. 7-9 PM 30 Elmwood Avenue, Burlington, VT Tuesday. June 9 Lesbians and AIDS 7:30 to 9:00 Contois Auditorium, City Hall, ir: Burlington. Sponsored by VT Dept. of Health and Burlington Women’s Council. Wednesday, June 10 Burlington Peace Coalition Board 'Meeting. Peace & Justice Center, Burlington. 7:00 PM. the topic. Well at least you have some idea that talking is definitely needed here. Talking honestly about sex with your lover regularly, no matter how long you’ve been with her or him, is very important. We know it isn't easy, but like a lot of other things, you’ll probably feel a lot better afterwards. Perhaps you can suggest a discussion of how the living-together situation is going, if this is a recent development. Have her read this if you think that it will help break the ice. Chances are she will be glad you brought it up. As for whether there is anything wrong with you, you must have learned by now to ignore many of the voices of "normalcy". Whatever unique formula for happiness the two of you work out will be the right one. Dear Gertrude and Alice, I am so furious I can hardly see to write this. My lover got drunk the other night at a party and was flirting outrageously with anything that walked. We have been in a loving monogamous relationship for several years now, and I've never seen him act this way before. Does this mean he wants to be with someone else? Is he bisexual? (He was mostly flirting with women). Please answer soon -- I am Thursday, June 11 FUNDRAISER for VT’s Fifth Lesbian/Gay Pride. PEARLS, 8:00 PM to closing. $2.00 donation. Join the fun! Saturday, June 13 Boston’s Lesbian/Gay Pride Day. Monday, June 15 Lesbian/Gay Pride Organizing Committee Meeting. P & J Center, Burlington. 7:30 PM. All are needed and welcomed! Friday, June 19 V'I"s Fifth Annual UG Pride Film Trilogy Festival. Billings Theater, UVM. 8:00 PM. $3.00 cover to benefit 1987 L/G Pride. Films being shown: Together and Apart, Comedy in Six Unnatural Acts, and Greetings from Washington, D. C. Saturday, June 20 V'I's Fifth Annual UG Pride, Burlington, VT. RALLY on lawn of Unitarian Universalist Church, Top of Church Street. 1:00 PM sharp. MARCH at 2:30 p.m. (Banners, speakers, ballons, buttons, Kwanzaa). IJG Pride Film Trilogy Billings Theater, UVM. 'I\vo showings. 7 & 9 PM (See Friday 6/19/87). Integrity Service at 7:55 PM. Social at 8:45 PM. St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, VT. (Also dates for Integrity 7/4, 7/18, 8/1. 8/15, 9/5). June 1987, Page 11 worried that our relationship is on the skids. Morose in Morrisville Dear Morose: You're so furious you can hardly see and you haven't let him know? For shame. Tell him you are hurt and confused. Tell him you don’t'like seeing him do this. Q him whether he feels comfortable with the commitment in your relationship. You can’t be expected to read his mind. If you are concerned and want to avoid a repeat performance, you should talk. However, we don’t think that a night of party flirtatious is necessarily serious. Flirting can be a fun, non-threatening way to deal with other attractions. As for whether his flirtations with women mean he is bisexual, we would have to say no. Flirtation is not necessarily a sign of serious attraction, and occasional attraction to members of the opposite sex doesn't mean bisexuality. Someone who chooses the label "bisexual" does so because he/she not only feels attractions to both genders, but also feels that both attractions are important. Only your lover can say whether he feels that is the label for him. Finally, if you’ve had several years together, give your problems serious attention -- your relationship deserves it. Saturday & Sunday, June 27 & 28 SISTERFIRE 5TH Anniversary. Equestrian Center. Upper Marlboro. MD. Information: Roadwork, Dept. SF, 1475 Harvard St., N.W., Washington, D.C. (202)483-1010. See related article in this issue. Saturday, July 4 INDEPENDENCE DAY Thursday, July 23 OITM. General Meeting. P & J Center, Burlington, VT, 6:30 PM.» All welcomed! Saturday, August 15 OITM Deadline for September issue. Monday, August 31 OITM collating. P & J Center, Burlington, 6:30 PM. Help Needed! Thursday, September 3 VLGR monthly meeting. Burlington. 7:30 PM. purpose/future of VLGR. P & J Center, Discussion on Monday, September 7 LABOR DAY L Sunday, September 13 L/G Statewide Coalition Meeting S. Royalton, VT. Women’s & Men's joint meeting at 10:30 AM. Separate groups at ll:30 AM.