Page 8, Out in the Mountains

UVM Course Offers Open Discussion

For years Jim Barbour has taught a
course called Human Relationships and
Sexuality at UVM. Every year he devotes a
lecture to the discussion of homosexuality.
This year, UVM’s newly revived GLSA was
on hand to coordinate efforts to find
volunteers from the gay and lesbian
community to sit in on the discussion groups
that followed the lecture. The volunteers as
well as the students learned from the
experience. Following are some reactions
from some of the volunteers to their
experience in the groups.

They asked everything. What was my
family like? Did they know? When had I
come out? Who was dominant in my
relationships? Did I have the "normal"
urges to have children? Did I want to be
straight? And then someone asked "Why do
you do this (talking to groups)? To know
more about yourself and feel more secure?"
I thought with astonishment, do I make it
look that easy? I smiled and said, "No. I
do this for y_o_u."

At the end of one the groups,
someone asked me. "If you're gay, can you
tell if other people are, better than a
straight person can?" I laughed and
explained some of the components of gay
radar, haircuts, labryses, clothes, walks.
When we were leaving, I drew aside the
most unhomophobic member of the group
and said to her, "You know I didn’t want
to embarrass you but I thought of using you
as an example. Short hair. no make-up,
Birkenstocks, etc." She grinned and said,
"Actually I am bisexual." Dyke radar strikes
again!

Before I went to each of these groups,
I couldn't help worrying- What should I
wear? I should at least wear something that
matches, or even a dress? No not that far.
After all it's quite a responsibility to
represent all lesbians, gay men and bisexual
people of all ages, races and experiences. In
the zoo they at least try to display one
animal of each species. Many of these
students said I was the first openly gay
person they had met. Gayness is certainly
the easiest thing for me to be an expert in.
If only these groups paid like talk-shows!

Ruth

I sat there with seven well-scrubbed
faces blinking back at me. They were
curious, but nervous. I was determinedly
friendly and open, but it was a thin veneer
over my defensiveness. I wanted to appear
balanced and in-control, but I also wanted
to portray a vivid sense of the unjust and
unprovoked hostility and discrimination I
experience as a lesbian.

I wanted them to ask me questions,
but the questions were so hard to answer 1
found myself in long monologues. "Why
does it matter to you that other people
know you are gay?" "Why are lesbians so

angry towards men?" Of course there were
a few easy ones like "Do you feel fulfilled
in your sex life with a woman?"

I left after the hour and a half feeling
jumbled. What had I said? What did they
think about me, about homosexuality? Had
I made any impact? What could I have
said better? I wished I had a chance to do
it again. And then I realized that what I
really wanted was a chance to change all
people's minds everywhere. I remembered
that I can only afford to care so much
about what the rest of the world thinks
about me. I am beautiful just the way I
am.

Dot

The students, eight women plus the
"leader" who was a man, were not
confrontational. Some of them did have
very little information about lesbians and gay
men. Most of them seemed eager to talk
and learn.

At times I felt the students wanted
definitive answers to their questions about
homosexuality. I tried, but things just can't
be explained as black or white.

I felt good after the class. I hope the
people in the group felt less confused» more
accepting. I wish I had such a class While
in college that dealt with subject. It might
have made my life easier!

Phillip

Last week I was asked to participate as
a guest in a human sexuality group. The
topic - homosexuality. My immediate,
thoughtless reaction - no, refusal, I would
not accept.

Why was I saying no? No...one of a
child’s first words - an easy response. Fear..
I didn’t know, the group, what would
happen?

But I want to be accepted. Why don’t
"they" just accept me? No...an easy response.
Fear...they don’t understand, me, us, what
would happen?

How do you know, understand?

I went to the meeting. It wasn’t easy. I
was uncomfortable and nervous. The group
was uncomfortable and nervous

Initially the students talked among
themselves. They had questions they couldn’t
answer. Of course, that’s why I was there.
There were several hesitant glances in my
direction. My cue? Ohh I was scared. I said
something, who knows what, but it was a
start. They continued to try and ask, I
continued to try and answer.

Something did happen. \_lV_e helped each
other.

I think they understand a little more. I
know I'm a little less afraid.

When volunteers from the gay
community were requested to participate in a
class on human sexuality at U.V.M. recently,
the challenge appealed to me. Here was a
golden opportunity to dispel false

Most Common
Questions

Following are questions the small
groups considered and discussed.

To me, the word homosexuality means
that...

_As best as I understand it now, a
person develops a homosexual orientation
because...

As I was growing up, my parents
conveyed directly or indirectly to me that
homosexuals and homosexuality were...

When I see gay men expressing
affection toward one another, I feel...

In thinking about whether it's alright
for homosexual lovers to hold hands or
display affection publicly, I feel...

Messages 1 received from my parents
while growing up that may have implied that
I should not become gay were things like...

Some things I learned from my peers
about homosexuality were...

Some of the things that a gay person
must think about before coming out to their
friends and family are probably...

continued, page 9
 .
information and to demonstrate by our very
presence that gays are real,
honest-to-goodness ordinary people.

So I joined the several gay men and
lesbians who became "guests" in the small
evening gatherings at students’ apartments all
over the city. Since there were far too few
of us to cover the 400-plus class taking this
popular course, each volunteer was assigned
a separate grout‘.

After the initial mutual distance and
discomfort, we slowly got to trust each other
and then the questions became more
interesting, honest, and amazingly
open-minded. Some students answered
others’ questions at times. Only one person
seemed to hold any inward prejudice, but he
was extremely civil and pleasant to me.

At the end of a very rewarding
session, the facilitator asked me to join the
group for their last gathering on the
following week, the session ending up at
Carbur’s.

Gilles