May 1987, Page 3

by Mark O'Brien

"His lover has AIDS. They just found
out." I felt like I had just been run over.
No, it isn't possible, I thought.

I had moved to Dorchester must a few
months before but already I felt at home.
These women and men were my family.
Our family.

I talked with Ed Cook and several
others at the Potluck that night. We must
do something to help our GALA members
in need, I said. Within a matter of days it
became apparent that there were several
men afflicted with this insidious disease.
Notices were listed in the GALA
Newsletters looking for mature volunteers
with a little spare time and a lot of
compassion. Several people came forward.
A good core group.

Thus was born the Dorchester GALA
Care and Share Program. A volunteer group
that helps our friends and neighbors with
AIDS and other disabilities and illnesses.
The group has met and functioned in a very
informal manner. People are called upon
when needed. The tasks are sometimes
simple. A ride to and from the doctor's
office. Perhaps someone could drop by for
a lunch-time visit. A cheerful phone call to
just say "hello", to let him know he’s not
alone. Other times have been more serious.
The emergency phone call to help him to
the hospital. Again. He’s very sick. I
quickly learn the routine. When the
ambulance attendants hear, that he has
AIDS, I become the educator. ‘No you
can’t get "it" from transporting him to Mass.
General. The attendants are jerks! I
almost know his medical history by heart
now. The admissions procedure is taxing.
He barely has the strength to give the
answers to the now-repetitious questions.

He wants me to stay with him in the
Emergency Room cubicle. The doctor days
yes. Someone with an ego problem wants
to throw me out. I learn to be negotiator.
I stay. I sometimes help the doctor with
the tests. Passing this thing or that.
Helping my friend sit up. It calms him to
have a friend there. It is far less
frightening. We talk between tests. Hours
pass.

Most of the doctors and nurses are
saints. I am amazed, she doesn't use gloves
to draw blood. It is accomplished with a
minimum amount of discomfort. She really
cares. She even recognizes my needs. How
thoughtful. After many more hours, he is
on his way up to his room on the 7th floor.
He improves with each day. I notify his
family. It is heartening to watch these once
strangers draw close together. I recede into
the background.

All this has been a wonderful learning
experience. You learn to wear many hats.
Friend, helper, counselor. I have learned to
be good listener. Don’t judge. Know when
to speak up. Don’t deny him his anger.
Good, he‘s angry. He’s challenging his

damned disease. He’s a fighter. That's how
he will survive. Be angry. Get it out.
Fuck the doctors, the church that condemn
us. Fuck those who want to give up. "I'll
lick this yet," he says Bravo! "Screw those
who say I'm not handling this disease
correctly."

I started out with the idea that I
could help others. But I have learned so
very much about myself and those around
me. I have learned that all this is not
about dying. It is about living. About love.
About hope. For ourselves and one
another. It is about how we related to
others. About sharing our joys and works.
About community. It is about surviving.
Surviving the Supreme Court. Dukakis.
AIDS. We will. I know it.

Letters to the
Editor

Park Street Five

Dear Out in the Mountains.

I'm sorry to be writing this letter to
you because I'm pissed off. I sent an
announcement of a benefit for five victims
held at Pearls first Friday woman’s dance,
donations collected, etc. It was not printed
in your April issue.

You also have a calendar of events
where it was also omitted.

I noticed that the newsletter has a
whole page each month to donate to
condoms. I think AIDS infomiation is very
important also but I think a benefit for five
victims is also.

I would also like to ask you to print a
thank you in your next issue about the
benefit so people will now how well it went.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Donna Lescoe

THANKS !

to all those who donated to the Park Street
Five benefit. Many goods were collected as
well as $220 at Pearl’s Women’s Dance in
April.

Editors Reply:

We apologize to the Park Street Five
for not printing their announcement. It was
not a deliberate omission.

As a rule we put a priority on dated
information and make every effort to include
it in our issue.

Unfortunately, sometimes as in this
case an announcement slips by us.

Caring and Sharing

It his book. Out Of Solltude Henri
Nouwen writes: "When we honestly ask
ourselves which persons in our lives mean
the most to us, we often find it is those
who, instead of giving much advice.
solutions. or cures, have chosen rather to
share our pain and touch our worlds with a
gentle. tender hand. The friend who can be

silent with us in a moment of despair or

confusion. who can stay with us in an hour
of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate
not knowing, not curing, not healing. and
face with us the reality of our powerlessness.
that is the friend who cares."

Drawn out of My Closet

Dear Friends.

The irony of the situation is that if it
wasn't for the nastiness of the ERA
campaign, I might not have been drawn out
of my closet at all...I wonder if that is true
for anyone else? I hope so, because we need
everyone to get out, and get involved - this
is for all of us. The religious right and their
ilk kicked the wrong anthill when they
picked us as the scapegoats to defeat the
ERA. I think perhaps they thought we were
a kind of bogeyman (who also lives in
closets, as well as under the bed). They are
going to find out how real we are!

Ever since the hearing I've wanted to
send out a huge warm thank-you to all
those people who came, all those who
testified for ‘the bill, and those who lent
their almost silent support. The hecklers
among us who could not restrain themselves
from hissing or applauding even after the
friendly warnings from the committee can
hardly be blamed - I suspect for many it
was the first time they had ever had a
chance to express our anger and our
solidarity. I do hope that next time more of
these people will find more voice and speak
out in the hearing itself.

Of course we also have to thank the
wonderful folks who spoke against the bill as
well. If we had not been able to make a
case proving that discrimination and fear
against lesbians and gay men exists (not to
mention ignorance), they said it quite clearly
for us. There are not more of them, I
believe, they are merely louder. After all.
they have less to fear, less to lose by calling
their legislators and testifying in public. Their
jobs and families and homes are already
protected; it's unlawful to discriminate on
the basis of religion (Which, unlike being
born Black or Jewish or Yugoslavian, is a
matter of choice...so how come th_ev rate
protection against discrimination???)

Sincerely,

Beth Morse

P.S. - Everybody call your legislatorll
write!! Get gall!