Page 10, Out in the Mountains HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY CoMnJ6 OUT Across the males. 'Ca0€2 l hold {on Ilolhlf you to know -that I am queer. I 911’ bfluihd rm] desk Nd. do And wonder ohetluer you l€hMJI'm ,0)’ Now ll": time Igor -to mrlc Tsure do More you're not a jerk - Hail! as nice day! AsK FoR T-IEM AT 1/ovR LoCPrL CARD mpg. L%_____ Hallmarket Announces New Line of Greeting Cards Citing untapped market potential and a desire to be on the cutting edge of the greeting card industry, Hallmarket Cards, Inc. announced last Wednesday it is introducing a new line of greeting cards targeted at Gays and Lesbians Schoofly Donates to OITM Claiming that she "has seen the light," Mrs. Phyllis Schoofly, the well-known right wing, anti-ERA advocate, recently contacted Out in the Mountains and offered to donate $100,000‘ to the paper’s ongoing fund raising campaign. Shown here at a presentation ceremony last week, Mrs. Schoofly refused to offer any explanation for her sudden change in heart. She did, however, express great embarrassment and regret for her years of anti-gay lobbying efforts stating, "May Goddess have mercy on me." Speaking with Out in the Mountains staffers Tuesday, Mrs. Schoofly pledged the resources and energies of her nationwide organization. The Beagle Forum, for fund-raising efforts saying, "it is our fit penance." Unnamed sources close to Mrs. Schoofly say she believes she has received an ultimatum from Goddess commanding her to donate $3,000,000 to Gay/Lesbian causes before April 15, or she will be "stricken." IOCOOOCOCOCOO000000COCOOCOOOOO0OO0OCOOOOOOOOOOCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI "Not only heterosexuals have birthdays," said a company spokesman at a well-attended press conference, "and we think it’s time we stood up and publicly said that." Oversized samples of the new line unveiled Wednesday showed cards celebrating union ceremonies, anniversaries (beginning at one month), and coming out to Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister Grandmother. In a twist on a familiar theme, some of the cards depict same-sex couples silhouetted on twilight beaches and hand-holding brides atop giant wedding cakes. Defending the series, a Hallmarket spokesman said, "We saw no need to abandon traditional themes. We are attempting to appeal to the more mainstream homosexual population." and the World’s Best Burlington officials announced the donation of the Follet House to VLGR as the new Lesbian and Gay Community Center.