frompage4
III

So how does a Jewish
revolutionary cope with "yankee-land"
up here in Northern New England?
How does it feel to be consistently told
I'm too loud, too pushy, too opinionated
and too domineering especially at
meetings where I'm often accused of
not giving other people a chance to
express themselves? Well, for the first
several months I felt isolated, depressed
and withdrawn. Since then I ran a
workshop on "Jewish Revolution" in
March on International Women's Day,
one in June on "Judaism and
Homosexuality" at the Conference for
Rural Jews in Lyndonville, I've found
two or three Israeli women to befriend
tucked away in small towns, was hired
as a Hebrew teacher at the reform
synagogue in Burlington, went to a
Jewish culture festival at that same
synagogue, attended a Yiddish film
festival in Montpelier, spoke at a
Middle- Eastern study group in
Burlington, am about to join the new
Vermont chapter of New Jewish
Agenda which already adopted a gay
and lesbian rights platform, plan to
publish a book next year with a
chapter on being Jewish, and am
writing this article for Out in the
Mountains.

One more thing. A group of us
are planning a Shabbat gathering and
-overnight campout on HOWL
‘Huntington Open Women's Land) for
Jewish women only on September I9-20.
There-will be rituals, workshops,
tinging, dancing and hopefully a lively
celebration of being Jewish. For
directions to the land and more
information call Lynda Siegel at

658—0l99. Hope to see you there.
Shalom, shalom.
from page 1 . VLGR

It was suggested to Snelling by
those present that he could further
understanding of lesbian/gay concerns
to the general population if he would
be supportive of lesbian/gay rights.
Snelling indicated this would not be a
priority during the campaign or if
elected senator.

Although members of VLGR did

not feel the meeting with former
Governor Snelling was highly
Droductivc, lesbians and gay men

realize the importance of establishing
better communications with candidates
and elected officials of Vermont. It is
the desire of VLGR to meet in the
near future with Representative
Jeffords and Senator Leahy to ascertain

their positions concerning lesbian/gay
issues.
' 

OITM Tribute

Thc‘staff of Out in the Mountains
Wouid like to _pay tribute to Scott
Mah°1'1¢Y, who died recently. Scott was
3“ °UlSDoken leader in the Vermont
83)’ community. His commitment and
energy and wit will long be remembered
am appreciated.

September 1986 - page 5

Letters Home

Dear Mom and Dad:

With so many miles apart, it is
sometimes difficult to let you know
how things are going here in Vermont.
There are so many things I would like
to talk with you about face to face,
but that isn't possible right at this
moment.

As I have sat here in my
apartment I have thought about writing
this letter to you over and over again
but I just haven't been able to get up
the courage to do so. You see, there is
a significant part of me which you
know very little about. I want you to
know that I'm gay.... I know that this
information is not going to be easy on

you but I love you both so very much
that I'm tired of hiding this fact any
longer. .
I have known since my early
youth (age I2 or I3) that I was
different from others, but I was
convinced that it would pass. It took a
long time to accept this in myself. I
felt lonely and guilty for something
which I had no control over.

Believe me, you both have done
an incredible and beautiful job in
raising 8 kids. You should not feel that
you are in any way responsible for my
being gay. Homosexuality is not a
choice but rather a discovery. Some
experts feel that it is determined
during a child‘s first few years.

I have prayed to God many times
in the past to change me. Because it
was so difficult to deal with. After
much contemplation, I have realized
that his answer to me was to accept
who I am because He created me this
way and loves me as I am.

For the first time in a long while

‘I am happy with who I am and

Dear Michael:

After your visit I want to express,
somehow, my feelings since your letter.
First the utter shock, then the
questioning, the grief (oh the griefl),
then the feelings of trying to
understand (and we are trying, Michael
- really we are), and finally although
we cannot approve or agree with some
of the aspects of this revelation you’ve
made known to us, we accept you
because of our great love for you and
because you are ours, Michael.
Remember you were born out of love.

We want you to know we always
had and continue to have a special
place in our hearts for you. Your
accomplishments are such that any
parent would be proud to say "that's
my son.‘ We especially feel you are

much to be admired because of your-

own personal anguish at the time you
were trying to achieve these
accomplishments.

Michael - as long as you are
happy, that makes us happy. You must
follow your own road. After all is said
and done, it is your life. We tried to

adjusting well. This sense of peace has
only begun to come once I opened my
heart and "came out” to those I love.
Over the past two years I have met
some wonderful people who have helped
me along the way. I am now is a
support group of five men who are

dealing with a variety of issues, our’

gayness being just one. I also play
volleyball every Sunday evening with
many other of my gay friends.

As I mentioned earlier, I have
wanted to tell you for some time in the
hope that will come to fully
understand, accept, and grow with me.
You both mean so very much to me.
Thank you for all you’ve done.

Believe me when I say there are
many of us around (one out of every
10 people). I have come to see that the
stereotypes that the media sometimes
portray are the few. There are many
like myself who are gay.

I know that this revelation isn't
something you will fully understand or
accept right away. Please give it time.
I have not changed, I am still the same
son you have know for 26 years. The
only real difference is that I have
chosen to share with you who I really
am.

Mom, Dad, I need your love and
support more than ever. I'm tired of
hiding the truth from you. I will close
now, even though there seems so much
more to say. This letter has been
difficult for me to write as I'm sure it
has been for you to read.

Once you have had a chance to
digest this a bit, call me at home. I
would like to come home March lst so
that we can talk face to face. My
thoughts and prayers are with you. I
love you Mom. I love you Dad.

Your son, Michael.

raise all our children the very best we
could and the best we knew how. I
think you know this, as you have told
us so many times. We believe we
accomplished this and are happy to
have such a great and loving family.
We are happy you have shared your
feelings with us and that we really got
to know you. It is too bad it took so
long but maybe now is the time.

I pray that God helps us all
through this period of life and
especially that you have a peace you've
never had before. We read the book
“Coming Out to Parents” and derived
some help from it. Maybe we'll explore
a little more later.

Michael, I feel especially close to
you now. Please remember I love you so
very much as does Dad. It has been
hard on him but he is trying to
understand. We will be okay so don't
worry. You know us, we think things
through and try to understand.

Stay in touch and call if you feel
like it at any time. We are looking
forward to seeing you at Easter. God
be with you always.

Lovingly, Mom.