Lesb ian/Gay AA roundup

by Gus L.

Last Tuesday a man drove from his
home in New Hampshire to our gay and
lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in
Burlington; it would take him three hours to
do the round trip, not including the one and
a half hours spent at the meeting. He also
had come to our Thursday meeting the week
before. We were discussing the Third Step of
AA: "Made a decision to turn our will and
our lives over to the care of God as we
understand him.‘ Some of the lesbian‘
members present stated how they had a
difficult time getting by the pronoun "him"
written into the steps fifty years ago. Many
of us expressed the difficulty we had with
the word "God" when we first joined the
program. The man from New Hampshire
said, "I have a hard time dealing with God
because he doesn't like gay people."

This is why there is going to be ‘The
Other Roundup ‘86'' July 25-27 in Burlington.
We hope to meet with hundreds of other gay
and lesbian alcoholics who will share their
experiences, strengths and hopes with each
other. I hope our new friend from New
Hampshire is there.

Registration will be at the Rowell
Building at the University of Vermont at 5-8
p.m Friday, July 25. At 8:30 p.m. we will
have a speakers’ meeting, to start everyone
off easy, listening to one or two people who
wish to share. That night we will find
accommodations for those registering late
who have nowhere to stay. We will need
volunteers from the non-alcoholic and
non-gay or lesbian communities who can
provide space. ln typical AA fashion, even
though the meeting will break up at 9:30
p.m., people will stay around to chat and
make new friends.

After coffee and doughnuts Saturday
morning, we'll have workshops, from 9- l0:30
a.m. and from l0:45 a.m.-l2:lS p.m. Suggested
topics have included Affection and Intimacy,
Relationships, Gay and Lesbian Pride. ls

Interfaith Service he Id

by Carrie

Approximately 40 people were on hand
tolcelebrate the Interfaith Service at the
Friends Meeting House, in Burlington, for
the final event of Gay Pride weekend.

The outdoor service began with words
of. welcome from Barr Swennerfelt of the
F"°"d5 Mcfllng House whoread a resolution
drafted by the Putney Friends affirming gay
"zhts. During the service,several people
shared readings. Joan read a poem by

Marge Piercy and David read from
‘Behold a Pale Horse." The music included
SC‘/_Cfal guitar-accompanied songs played by
P_hlllD Roberts, as well as pieces for the
P'“3° (played by Gilles) and cello (played by
AWOH). Flowers and signs of peace were
also shared.

Of the two speakers, Suzi talked about
the importance of understanding the
perpetual need to make choices in our daily
lives as a form of liberation and lrv spoke
Of the fact of our existence being evidence
Of God‘s intention to create a diverse world.

This was the third lnterfaith Service
°"E:i~nized by the Vermont lnterfaith
Coalition for Lesbian/Gay concerns.

God Straight? Sex in Sobriety, Dealing with
Straights, S&M, Facing AIDS, Coming Out,
Cruising the Program and Making New
Friends.

In the tradition of AA, we will not
choose the topics or the leaders of workshops
until Friday night, to give as many people
who want to share the chance to do so and
to give as much geographical representation
as possible to the workshops. (We have
registrations from as far away as California,
Texas and Florida, among many others.)

Afternoon workshops will run 2:25-3:45
p.m. and 4-5:50 p.m. Saturday night's dance
will start at 9 p.m.

On Sunday, we will have a final round
of workshops from 9:30-11:30 a.m., perhaps
on new topics, perhaps finishing discussions
from the day before. The great thing about
AA is that nothing is ever fixed: we are
bound by obligation and tradition to consider‘
first and utmost that person having
difficulty staying away from a drink today.
This responsibility comes before any other
plans or persons; it is why we exist.

At ll:l5 a.m. we will start our final
meeting, a meeting of gratitude. Traditionally
here anyone may express his or her thoughts
about the roundup. We plan to break up this
meeting about noon.

Finally, there will be a picnic at the
Ethan Allen Homestead, which is close to
North Beach, for those who want to go
swimming. This is usually a joyous time for
people reveling in the fact that they are not
alone ‘any longer, that they are grateful they
are lesbian or gay alcoholics and they they
have found a place in the fellowship of AA.

If you would like a brochure on our
program or, would like to offer housing
(please state preference as to which sex,
smoking or non-smoking, and if you have
pets) please write: Chair, The Other
Roundup '86, P.O. Box 4295, Burlington, VT
05401.

Goddard College

Claim your own education: Goddard
College offers BA and MA degrees with
self-designed curriculum, project-based
learning, rural Vermont campus, with
residences for single parents, women's
dorm, men's support group. Or study
at home through our Off-Campus
program. Concentrations in Feminist
Studies, Psychology/Counseling, Business
& Leadership, Writing and Literature,
Multi-Cultural Studies, Education,
Ecology, Arts.

To apply for Fall 80,

or call
Admissions Office
Goddard College
Plainfield, VT 05667
(802-454-8311)

write

July - August 1986 - page 7

Writer seeks material

l am writing a book tentatively titled
NOT SO GAY: WOMEN WHO LOVE GAY
MEN, which will explore love relationships
that occur between straight women and
homosexual men, especially (but not limited
to) relationships serious enough to have lead
to engagement or marriage.

My goal is threefold: I) To help the
woman understand what happened, why she
fell in love with her partner, and how to
cope with the very special rejection that
eventually comes to her; 2) to do the same
for the gay mkan and to help him if he's
stll leading the ‘double life;“ and 3) to help
the couple accept their unique situation,
come to terms in as gentle and loving a way
as possible, and survive the hurt together, as
friends.

I would like to interview or correspond
with: l) Gay men who have been, or still
are, seriously involved in a relationship with
a woman, whether or not the woman now
knows they are gay; 2) Women who have
seriously dated, been engaged to, or married
a gay- man they later discovered is gay or
who knew he was gay but thought she could
change him.

If you fit any of the categories above
or know of anyone who does, will you please
pass this information on? Thanks.

K.K. Wilder

17 N. Champlain #3
Burlington, VT 05402
Tel: 802-658-0448

l: l

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