page 2 - Out in the Mountains

Behind the brown paper bag

by David

Each year I have been asked if I
planned to participate in the Gay Pride
Celebration. Each year I have replied
quickly, "No, I'm going out of town that
day.“

To my close friends I confided that my
being publicly visible as a gay man was
dangerous for my family. To myself alone I
admitted I was afraid.

In the l960s I learned that marching
for a cause could be one of the greatest
experiences of a lifetime. In those years we

though we were helping someone. We felt‘

there was a chance to win. This seemed
different. The numbers were smaller. Maybe
it was too political. Or maybe it was not
political enough. for the odds seemed greater.

I didn't want to take a chance. I had
heard that people who marched in the
Pride-day parade were "the exhibitionists" of
the community. They were advertising -- if
not recruiting. No. This was different. This
was not my style.

Each year my reasons became more
varied and less positive. I didn't have to
admit I was afraid anymore. There was
plenty of time.

As the AIDS problem became an
epidemic and a crisis, I started to see time
in a different perspective. What I thought
was eternal now was sharply defined and. in
the case of friends. no longer available.

This year I marched in the lesbian/gay
parade and I marched with pride behind the
banner "Vermont C.A.R.E.S." I marched for
two friends who have died, and for a friend
who could not march, but so desperately
wanted to do what was right.

I chose to wear a paper bag over my
head. I could have dressed as a clown. but
this was not a comical event. I could have
dressed as a woman, but my pride is that of
a gay male and I will be known as such.

Purpose

The purpose of Out in the .\lmiiitiiiiis is to serve as
a voice for lesbians. gay men and our supporters in
Vermont. We wish the newspaper to be a source of
information. support and affirmation for lesbians and
gay men. We also see it as a vehicle for celebration of
the goodness and diversity of the lesbian and gay
community.

Editorial Policy

We will consider for publication any material which
broadens our understanding of our lifestyles and of
each other. Views and opinions appearing in the paper
do not necessarily represent those of the stall. _

This paper cannot. and will not endorse any’ candi-
date lor public office. We will serve as a vehicle for
informing our readers about the views of candidates
and actions of public officials on issues of particular
importance to lesbians and gay men. . y

We will not publish any material which i_s overtly
racist. sexist. anti-Semitic. ageist or homophobic.’

All materials submitted must be signed and include
an address and/or phone number so we can contact the
author should we need to consider editorial revisions.
However. within the pages of the newspaper, articles
may appear anonymously. upon request. and strict
confidentiality will be observed. No revisions or reject-
ions of materials will occur without dialogue with the
author. _

We welcome and encourage all readers to submit
materials for publication and to share your comments.
criticisms and positive feelings with us. This paper is
here for you. _ _ _

The deadline for submitting material for each issue is
the 15th of the month prior to publication.

Materials should be sent to:

On! in Hit‘ .\loiiiitru'ii.s
PO Box 438
Hinesburg. VT 05461.

Out in Hit‘ .\I1iinilui'n.\‘ is published by the Out in Hie
wiiiiiliiiiis collective: Elizabeth Mae, Howard Russell.
David Ryan. Suzi Shira. Philip Roberts. Linda Wheeler.
Terje Anderson. Gilles Yves Bonneau, and Antonio Baio.

The paper bag was a symbol just as it is for
the mothers who parade protesting for their
sons imprisoned by government.

As I marched with that bag over my
head, I was forced to walk blindly into
people, stumble over curbs. suffer the fear
of not knowing who was behind me, and
experience the pain of not knowing who was
a friend.

Toward the end of the parade. as we

Maybe next year

Say, friend - would you tell me when,
uh. when, uh, well, you know, oh -
Lesbia‘n/Gay Pride Week-end - will take
place? - Oh! That's happened already, and it
was great! - Gosh. I'm sorry I missed it. -
Well. you really did! But don't worry. there
will be another celebration for our beautiful
selves next year. for sure.

That's how I feel: where‘d it go’? Did
I miss it? Was it only a lovely dream? It
seemed--no. it was!--so real, so full. so
perfect...so quickly over. This year's
festivities warmed the heart. occasioned
many a positive encounter and friendly
exhange, reinforced relationships already
formed; it also strengthened our public image
as well-behaved (if occasionally noisy),
proud. beautiful. mature, sophisticated.
self-motivated. multitudinous...and possibly
even ubiquitous. individuals.

Letters to the Editor

Homophobia in

To the editor:
(Submitted also to the Brattlcboro Reformer)

As a member of the gay community
here in Brattleboro who for professional
reasons is relocating, I take advantage of my
imminent departure to come out of the closet
publicly and to bring to the attention of the
Brattleboro community at large the unique
forms that homophobia (prejudice against
homosexuals) can sometimes take here.
Vermonters in general, and Brattlcboro's
citizens in particular. pride themselves on
their traditional Yankee values; among these,
the respect of privacy, the right to choose
one‘s own lifestyle, ranks high. In the two
years I've lived here, though I've met with
considerable acceptance in some circles, I've
found a surprising degree of hypocrisy,
prejudice and violence.

Teaching in the public schools made me
vulnerable to rumor, which became
increasingly vicious as I became a familiar
face in town through acting with the
Vermont Theatre Company, waiting tables at
the Common Ground and performing as a
pianist. The more I was a part of the
community. the less safe I became.
Eventually. a rumor. undisclosed to me.
reached the superintendent of schools‘office.
Without sufficient foreknowledge. I was
required to defend myself against undefined
charges of ‘inappropriate behavior" (I quote
William Ellis). I have no doubt that the
subsequent lack of support for my work was
the result of prejudice at the administrative
levels in the school hierarchy. Rumor has
incrcdiable power within the school system;
those who are in a position to destroy it are
too often concerned with their own status

reached the head of Church Street, those
who had marched before turned and cheered
us on.

It was then that I knew I would march
again and again. each time wearing the bag
for someone who could not march. If only I
could write their names on the bag so they
would know I care. If only we could tell the
world how much we care.

Commentary

There's something so comforting. so
unifying to the soul. to be sharing good
times .with "birds of the same feather" and
truly empathetic friends and - yes, even
relatives!

Perhaps we should plan more activities
for next year's Pride. Increasing numbers of
events means, of course. increased
participation in planning, organizing. and
overseeing...morc willing bodies (ah. what a
lovely image that phrase conjures up!).
Rather than a threatening thought. this is
actually an enticement to contribute to the
whole movement, an opportunity to risk
oneself just a little further, to grow.

My friends all, consider this concept.
then act on it: contact Gilles for further
discussions. You'll thank your good self in
the morning.

Gilles

Brattleboro

and safety to uphold the values they espouse
to the school children and the public.
Homophobia. sexism and hypocrisy obtain at
school, and children learn such covert
attitudes from the source.

I've become accustomed to hearing

shouts of “faggot,” "queer," and the
associated obscenities-, from passing cars and
pedestrians on Main Street. Gay men and
women in Brattleboro get used to it, and it's
an exceptional day that passes without such
minor abuse, especially for those who live in
town. More violent abuse. however. is not as
rare as we would like to believe. I was
assaulted last fall--right on Main Street,
under a street lamp, at an early hour--and
I've known of at least two far more serious
incidents. The Reformer, though I credit
the paper with balanced reporting on AIDS.
seems to prefer reporting traffic accidents.

I urge Brattlcboro's citizens to wake up
- to question whether homophobia and its

consequent violence and discrimination are a‘

tolerable characteristic of this town, an
acceptable tenet of ‘thinking New
Englandly.‘ as Emily Dickinson put it.

I also want to thank my co-workers at
the Common Ground Restaurant and the
Vermont Theatre Company. both gay and
straight, who, in so many ways. have given
me the courage to write this letter and to be
who I am. I wish I could include the
school district here; open-mindedncss and
justice should be primary concerns of the
public.

Chistopher Been
Brattleboro