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Transcending Boundaries
and PFLAG: Telling Stories

BY LINDSAY COBB

s wind-driven rain
pelted the city of
Worcester, Massachu-

setts, an estimated 400 mem-
bers of New England's GLBT
community and their allies
formed an oasis of acceptance
and solidarity at the Transcend-
ing Boundaries and Northeast
PFLAG Conference, which
commandeered the upper floor
of the DCU Center on the week-
end- of October 27-29.

This was the fifth year of
the Transcending Boundaries
conference, which was founded,
according to the conference
literature, “to gather and form
alliances within the bisexual/
pansexual, trans/genderqueer,
intersex, and allied communi-
ties.” In other words, the vari-
ous sexual and gender orienta-
tions not covered by “G” and “L.”

This was the first confer-
ence of the Northeast Regional
PFLAG, so the two organiza-
tions joined forces and pro-
duced a weekend, not only of
challenging talks and thought-
provoking workshops, but also
of what may have seemed to
the casual observer like strange
bedfellows  or at least con-
ference attendees. Statuesque
transwomen, ragtag hippies,
goth genderqueers, and support-
ive soccer moms, all gathered
within the glass and chrome of
the convention center to share
ideas, raise their collective con-
sciousness, expand their webs
of friendship, and especially, to
tell their stories. A glorious hur-
ly-burly of opinions, perspec-
tive, and fashion seme reigned “
throughout the weekend.

Indeed, telling stories
seemed to be the unofficial
focus of the conference, irI
order to expose hurts and
injustices, heal oneself, and
understand one another. Jen-
nifer Finney Boylan, who gave
the opening address on Satur-
day morning, and the author
of She’s Not There: A Life in
Two Genders, put it most suc-
cinctly when she said, “It‘s
impossible to hate someone
whose story you know.”

Other keynote speakers
included Esther Morris Lei-
doff, an intersex activist; Matt
Kailey, author of Just Add

Hormones: An Insider’s Guide
to the Transsexual Experi-
ence; Samuel Thoron, PFLAG
national president; and Lani
Ka‘ahumanu, co—editor of the
classic Bi Any Other Name.

Telling stories
seemed to be the
unofficial focus of
the conference,
in order to
expose hurts

and injustices,
heal oneself,

and understand
one another.

Each of them had many sto- .
ries to tell: Ka‘ahumanu’s talk
was perhaps the most poetic,
as she urged the attendees

to “go to that naked place
where fear and the thirst for
justice live within our souls.”

Telling stories and listen-
ing to other people’s stories
were activities that pervaded
the workshops throughout the
weekend. This reporters initial
reason for attending was to
participate in a panel discus-
sion involving bisexuals and
transpeople who came out in
the course of their marriages.
The discussion elicited stories
from both panelists and at-
tendees that seemed to share
common themes of initial pain
and confusion, leading eventu-
ally to one form or another of
acceptance and reconciliation.

Telling stories also served
as a means to recount and
combat societaboppression,
from antigay religious rhetoric
to high school bullying, rac-
ism, and harassment by police.
Some workshops employed
storytellingas witnessing and
warning, while others employed
hands-on group exercises to
explore and transform the
stories in depth. Such tactics
for transformation and empow-
erment were another major
theme of this conference.

And what would a confer-
ence be without vendors? On
Saturday, the rows of tables
lining the concourse lent a car-
nival atmosphere to the confer-
ence; as various organizations

provided pamphlets, publish-
ers offered books, magazines,
music, and movies and craft-
speople hawked jewelry, but-
tons, and artwork. All offered
the opportunity to network
and schmooze. The Halloween
costume dance on Saturday
night was another opportunity
for people to connect, boogie,
wear outrageous costumes, and
generally decompress after an

' intense day of workshops.

The one suggestion this
reporter put on his evalua-
tion forms at the end of each
workshop was, “Needs more
time.” With so many people
presenting workshops through-
out the weekend, only an hour
could be spared for each one.
Any longer than that, and the
conference would have to be
longer than a weekend - which
isn’t a bad thing, but perhaps
not immediately attainable.

Still, any amount of time
spent enveloped in the embrace
of the queer community is a
tonic and an inspiration. It’s
a liberating feeling to sit in a
roomful of several hundred
people and realize you have no
need to hide. For that matter,
it’s a liberating feeling to kiss
your same-sex sweetie in the
middle of a crowd of people
in broad daylight. Granted, we
were in a crowd of like-rninded
others within the safety of a
convention center. We weren’t
standing on a street corner
in the middle of downtown
Worcester, where such af-
fectionate displays are more
important to raising the con-

‘ sciousness of society at large,

a.rId which are also potentially
more dangerous. Perhaps Sarn-
uel Thoron put it most starkly
when he said, “My wife and I
can kiss in public almost any-
where, at any time. Our daugh-
ter cannot, and that’s Wrong.”
Here’s to queers willing

to kiss in public anywhere.
Here’s to parents working to
support their children’s right.
And here’s to conferences

like Transcending Boundar-
ies, that empower just such
cultural transformation.V

5 Lindsay Cobb serves on

the advisory board of the
Queer Community Project in
Brattleboro.

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