' self—aflirmation, and joy in an out In the mountains l SEPTEMBER 2006 l MOUNTAINPRIDEMEDIAORG Bi men: A REVIEW BY LINDSAY COBB ince the publication in 1991 of Bi Any Other Name, that grandmother of all bi anthologies has spawned numerous different now.” Another father, Marc Anders, explains to his twelve-year-old son over a game of miniature golf how he can be mar- ried to the boy's mom and still have a male lover, and realizes his son is more nonchalant about it than he could have books chronicling the bi- sexual experience. It’s an experience much like that of other queer folk, to be sufé, with the additional A heartache, at times, of os- tracism from gay friends -and allies as much as from straights. Accusations of be- ing confused, trying to pass, denying their true homosex- uality have hounded bi folk probably since Stonewall, and the resulting courage, living as they see fit takes on a particular poignancy and hard-won dignity. A new anthology, called Bi Men; Coming Out Every Which Way, may be unique in that, as the title suggests, exi§nv wmca”\iiix} Bi Men: Coming Out Every Which Way. Ron Jackson ‘ Suresha and Pete Chvany, imagined. A prison convict finds peace behind bars by being open about his : sexuality, and a young man joins a Pennsylvania Dutch enclave in an ultimately un- successful attempt to curb his desires. We hear from a Latino man, a man of Na- tive American and Scottish descent, and a pair of Asian American teenage boys. No- body has an easy story; even the men with the happiest through complex decisions. Older men relate stories of conflict and hard knocks, as when Woody Glenn, co- ~ ual Resource Center, tells of the focus is on men‘ Editors ' PHD) Edlt0f$- Harringttin getting “thrown out of the Ron Jackson Suresha and Park Press 2005, Binghamton, Gay Pride di1'ect,o1"s office Pete Chvany have assembled NY- 329 P3995 50*‘ C°Ve|'- for suggesting that there _ a wide range of voices from $19.95. should be a bi contingent in various walks of life and the parade.” Younger men in different stages of com- ' ing out Unlike the older book, Bi Men avoids socio-political exposition: presumably bisexu- ality need no longer be defined, theorized, or defended - or at least it’s done so in the context of story. So the narratives in B2‘ Men drive the . book, and they are by turns heart-breaking, soul-stirring, thought-provoking, and thoroughly queer—affirming. ‘ - We encounter Jason Large, a closeted mar- ried father taking the first steps to come out: “I’m just a normal, hard-working guy, know- ing deep down that I want something very -have the same fears as any young people, in addition to questions about their sexuality; to quote one, “I’m scared about graduating I’m afraid I won’t be ac- cepted.” Most seem to agree that, while much work has been done to make bisexuality un- derstood and accepted, elements of resistance continue both in the queer community and in V mainstream media and culture. Two essays are written by women. One, by Julz, is a portrait of bi women who love bi men: “We touch on a profound sense of be- ing understood by hi men in a way that most lives achieve their happiness founder of the Boston Bisex- taming nut Every Whith Wuv monosexuals can't.” The other, by Raven Davies, is an overview of “slash fan-fiction,” a sexually-oriented science fiction subgenre, usually written by female fans, that puts otherwise hetero male characters in erotic situations (“Kirk / Spock are a favorite pair- ing"). Also included is an F'I‘M trannie, well- known author Patrick Califia, whose essay “Life Among the Monosexuals" details his life pushing the boundaries of sexual identity in the context of the genderqueer and kink com- munities. While he has a hellacious story to tell, having identified as a bi feminist dyke in the early days, he also sounds one of the most tender notes in the book: “I feel happier and more grounded as a bisexual because it brings me closer to having more compassion for all human beings and bodies. I can feel the frailty and bliss of all flesh. I can see people more clearly if I have not first lined them up in one ’ gender category or the other.” I think of a friend who once described the queer teenagers she counseled in Maine. “Their sexual identity is like this,” she said, as she stood with flexed knees, shifting her weight back and forth like a balancing surfer. Or like someone shifting back and forth on the Kinsey scale: fluid, not nailed down, comfortable with change. Indeed, Bi Men: Coming Out Every Which Way is dedicated to Alfred C. Kinsey, “who steadfastly dedicated himself to listening to and telling the story of the bisexual man.” Perhaps this book's greatest gift to the community is its illumination of the lives of men whose sexual identities are not pinned to points on a scale, not by social pressure, not by political expediency, not by fear. Like the spectrum of colors thrown on a bare wall by a crystal, a person‘s sexuality may shift, and shimmer with time, and it’s always the same person, and it’s always gorgeous.V Lindsay Cobb is a freelance writer who lives and works in Brattleboro. oing bUSl]I11€SS t 01,d—fashio1e1ed way ...with loyalty, integrity, and creativity H For over a decade, Spruce Mortgage \ has been a leader in residential, second home, investment property mortgages, home equity, and refinancing. prucemortgage.com SPRUCE Mi) RTG AL} 1? You can always expect low rates, honest advice, and a quick turnaround. Denise Vignoe TEL 802.652.0168 Denise@sprucemortgage.com I Cyd Isleib TOLL-FREE 800.603.4559 Cyd@spru(emortgage.com