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Emergency Prompts a
Marriage Lawsuit

BY DEB PRICE

TERRIFIED, DAWN BARBOUROSKE
followed her partner's wishes in the delivery
room and rushed with their premature baby to
the neonatal intensive care ward.

At just 4 pounds, McKinley needed a ven-
tilator to help her tiny lungs work. But her
birth mom, Jen Barbou Roske, was also

dealing with a serious. health threat, a clot— '

ting disorder that could cause a stroke.
Over the next few days, Dawn darted back and
forth from her partner to their child, trying to
keep the level head that her family desperately
needed. '

"You feel very
vulnerable," says
Dawn, who feared
that if Jen died,
McKinley would be
parentless in the "
eyes of the law.

"You are at the mercy
and the kindness of .
strangers."

But at the very time Dawn needed to be focused
solely on caring for her family, she was distracted
by worries that she might be stopped because
she had no legal connection to Jen or McKinley.
“You feel very vulnerable,” says Dawn, who feared
that if Jen died, McKinley would be parentless in
the eyes of the law. “You are at the mercy and the
kindness of strangers."

Fortunately, the family survived intact,
though without the legal safety net of ~mar—
riage designed for just such crises. The three
moved to Iowa, where Jen went on to be-
come a neonatal nurse. And McKinley, now
7, has an adopted sister, Breeanna, age 3.
While Dawn and Jen were able to go to court to
become both kids’ legal parents, the women still
have no legal link to one another. Determined to

change that, they’re among 12 couples suing to
marry in Iowa.

Their lawsuit is part of a cultural upheaval
dividing of states by their degree of gay family
friendliness. ‘

“The choices for couples are going to broad-
en," predicts attorney David Buckel of Lambda
Legal Defense. “And we’re going to see huge shifts
begin, as gay couples choose where they live ac-
cording to how secure they can be, particularly
those with children or planning to have them.”

Right now, only Massachusetts marries its gay
couples — 7,341 couples have already wed there.
The next-most gay family-friendly states are
Vermont, Connecticut and California, with
state-level protections similar to marriage.
Six more states-—Delaware, Illinois, Indiana, New
Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania — also offer
gay residents dual parenting rights statewide.
The Iowa lawsuit joins sixi promising others
— in Washington state, New Jersey and New
York, where final marriage decisions are likely in

2006; and in California, Maryland and Connecti~ ,
cut, where final rulings are expected within_1;wo_, '

years.

Also expected in 2006 is a ruling in Massachu-
settsonwhetheraracist 1913lawcancontinuetobe
used to bar out-of-state gay couples from marrying.
And courts will decide whether amendments
passed in Michigan and Utah to limit marriage
to mixed-gender couples also ban public entities
from offering partner benefits.

The heartland couples hoping to add
Iowa to the list of gay farnily-friendly
states include senior citizens, current and
prospective parents, ‘ and churchgoers.
Their inability to marry places them in precarious
— and sometimes humiliating —— situations.

For example, when his partner's mom died in
the middle of the night, Jason Morgan left a mes-
sage on his new employer’s answering machine
explaining why he’d miss work the next day. _

“I had to go to the funeral not knowing if when ,

I came back I would have a job,” recalls Jason.
He kept his job, but, unlike married workers who

' get leave for an in-law’s death, his absence was

recorded as unexcused.

As the marriage wars continue, gay family-
friendly protections are on the rise: They're a
good gauge of how seriously a state takes its re-
sponsibility to safeguard all its people. V

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues..To find out
more about Deb Price and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the -

Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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