I Wasiln the Closet The Other Day... ainting is messy work, and PI have never enjoyed it, especially inside where spills require quick and thorough clean-up. My spouse was a painter for many years, and as we have tackled renovating our home, she has patiently passed on some trade secrets. Now I don’t wear so much paint nor do I have to shower with a Brillo pad afterwards. I even enjoy with and it never has been. That is the voice of intolerance trying to turn our lives into tawdry soap operas, as if it is all and only about sex. It is about who we are, not with whom we sleep. And being in the closet is like being in a tomb. No light, no air, no life. I have friends who claim it’s easier on their families if they don’t tell the truth. They have that IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TESTED, OR IF YOUVE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX OR SHARED A N It's better to ltnow YIIII BAH GET IIEAITII BABE Mill 1. some mass E--ea. -. .. _......_a -a-- s__.a.-w-._ .,e_.,,.m. fake second bedroom (I had one for years) and a “roommate.” And As I applied the third coat of ’ the families and coworkers fall for paint to yet another closet, I was that? No. No one is fooled. No reminded of how very sloppy I still cellar” or “he did not come out of one. It’s a foolish way to spend - am sometimes. Why such a mess? the attic until after he divorced?” I one’s life, pretending a bunch of It is confined in there. There is not know now why we don’t each have people don’t know something that enough room or light. I keep our own personal account of com- they actually do know. Whose life ' is it anyway? . If youare reading this, you are most likely not in the closet, and _ you are not at this moment paint- ing your house. I’ll pass along my conclusions anyway because we all know people who still insist on being in the closet. Each of us needs to find a place where we can work and live and love and be / comfortable. I spent many years in committed same-sex relationships with just about one leg out of the closet. In my mind, the closet doors were wide open because lots of people in my life knew I was gay but it was a mutually unspoken bumping into a painted shelf, or a ing out of the tool shed or some detail. Now that is like me stand- wall. Covering the back wall is ' other dark, hidden place. It’s got to ing with both feet in the closet and easy but as I reach to the ceiling be the closet. trying to paint the rest of the room the W0[‘k_ Except when I paint i closets. I hate painting closets. I . I For information on HIV testing: _ I call toll-free from in Vermont 300-882-AIDS (800-882-2437)‘ I for hearing impaired TTY access 800-319-3141* I or visit us on-line at http://wwwhealthyvermonters.info I have friends who claim a it’s easier on their families if they don’t tell the truth. They have that fake second bedroom.(l had one for years) and a “roommate.” No one is fooled. * The Vermont AIDS Hotline is open weekdays, 8:30-4:30. (For information 2.4/7,call the National AIDS Hotlme 800-342-2437.) Take the TEST. Take 00NTB0l. SHARED A NEEDLE smca roux LAST rasr. NOW [S was man TO GET AN HIV rasr. IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN rasran on IF You-W HAD uupnor S 31033” V 03l*V'**S 30 xas azroatoaamn ova annex .-11 no 'CI5l.LSEI.‘I. naaa H3/XZN SA.-no]. .-it ‘.Lsa.L AIH NV 3.3:: 0:. am. am SI MON 'J.S3.L .1'.SV'I uno YOUVE HAD UNPEOTECTEIZI SEX DR EV’! anon 30,511 and the far comers over the shelf, As we live out our days in the with a long pole. It’s just not good it is a disaster. The harder I try to closet, we can't help but bump into enough and it never will be. at 210 ‘cia.r.sa.r. naaa HIEIAHN armor. at ‘J.SE[.I. AIH NV no or mix. am. ‘:1 Mon ‘.t.sa.r. get the details right, to do a job I many messy things like half- Happiness, pride, and enlighten- will be happy about, the messier it truths, those silly pronoun changes, ment are never available from gets. I hit wet walls with my and outright lies. It is toocrowded within the confines of the ‘closet. elbows, drip paint on my hair, and in there where the daylight does ' I’m so out of the closet that P5Y¢h°°"“'Y3l5 P“5I°"“' C°“"5°“"9 leave smudges on what had been not shine on the truth. In the closet, I've given up even painting them. Individuals. & Couples Jtmgian orientation ‘ finished work. I can't even turn we have a life that we are never I’m all for keeping that space clean _ around without making a mess. proud of, and can never show off and uncluttered but I'll do_it with 9 cgnfgp coup-r River Road, It occurred to me what a great in the bright light. It is hard work my feet firmly and proudly planted metaphor it is, that term in the just being in there. , out of the closet. V closet. Being in a closet is con- I know some folks who insist Noi-fhompton MA Putney VT 413- 584-2442 802-387- 5547 fined, dark, and secretive, as is a that life in the closet isn’t so bad Assistant Editor Susan McMillan _ life of not being honest and forth- it is really no one’s business who lives with her spouse and a couple JGNBT LGflgd0fl, Md|V, SYA right about your full identity. But they sleep with anyway. Right? of four-legged companions in Mills ' _couldn’t we say “she’s still in the Wrong. It’s not about who we sleep Point. j[ies|@s°Ve,._,.,¢1. YouR HOPPING CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE! 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