Good legal advice

can make all the difference. .
V

Langrock Sperry & Wool takes
PRIDE in contributing to the
advance in civil rights for gay

and lesbian citizens, and to 1

making our state a better place l

for all Vermonters.

Langrock Sperry & Wool otfers the services of 22
lawyers with over 300 years combined experience in
all areas of the law including two lesbian
attorneys with special expertise serving the legal

needs of the g/l/b/t/q community A

SUSAN MURRAY & BETH ROBINSON
With offices in Middlebuiy and Burlington
Micldlebury (802) 38845356
Burlington (802) 864-0217
smurray@langrockcom brobinson@langrock.com

Langrock Sperry  Wool, LLPI

ATTORNEYS AT LAW

------Z-Z--3-----K

ne arriage To

Another

friend of mine lost her
husband the other day.
I watched as their 54

years of marriage saw its final
days. In the shadow of this
life-shattering event, my ‘part-
ner and I made the final prepa-
rations for our wedding. It was
as if there could only be a
finite number of marriages in
the universe. One marriage had
to end before another could
begin.
Although this seems

unrelated, I have a confession
to make. The weeks around

_ September 11,2001 were some

of the happiest in my life. On
August 1st, I had met the
woman I would marry. Within
four weeks, I was arranging to
move from Alaska to join her
in Los Angeles. The horrors of
9/11 could not darken the glow
inside of me. I was so blissful-
ly happy and hopeful I could
hardly breathe. And then I
watched the destruction that
day. Overwhelmed, sick with
the loss, I could not fathom the
breathtaking despair for those
who would learn that their
partner was in that hellhole
and would never come home.
Yet for me, I was as happy as
I’d ever been. The incongruity
of emotions was powerful and
troubling.

Last month, as my
friend’s husband quickly
faded, I was reminded of that
incompatible.conflict of feel-
ings that had washed over me
after 9/ l 1. As our wedding
neared and my partner and I
seemed to be more in love
each day, my friend made the

and more!

 

 



final arrangements to lose her
husband. They had been insep-
arable companions since a
blind date in 1951. I felt the
pending loneliness envelop her
as the hospice nurses gently
moved in. They taught her
about the oxygen tank and the
respirator, and he helplessly
watched from the hospital bed
that now filled their sunny
kitchen. Her family closed
ranks and helped in the daily

And then I watched

with utter sadness as my friend
saw her companion slip away.
One morning, he did not wake.
It was over. The loss was com-
plete. And my partner and I
left town for our Canadian
wedding. One marriage died
and another was born.

We are married now
and incredibly happy. In a
twisted way,I am envious of
my friend. She had more than
a half-century to share with the
one love of her life. Becky and
I met in our 40s, and I fear we
will not have fifty years
together. For all the time that
we have, though, I vow each
day to carry on the great love
affair that I glimpsed in my
friend’s devoted marriage. Far
from being a threat to our soci-
ety, I believe that my marriage
is the continuation of an
incredible, enduring love affair

As our wedding neared and
my partner and I seemed to
be more in love each day,
my friend made the final
arrangements to lose her

husband.

routine of caring for this dearly
loved, dying man. The house
was full of food and flowers.
Well wishers called and
stopped by. In my parallel uni-

verse, our families were about

to gather for a great wedding
party to celebrate us, with
food, flowers, and gifts.

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that has been passed along
from the beginning of time. V

Susan McMillan married
Becky Roberts in Sault Ste.
Marie on June 29. McMillan is
the volunteer assistant editor
of Out in the Mountains.