SMC Equality:

 

BY EUAN BEAR

illiam ‘Docker graduat-

ed from Saint

Michael’s College in
1975, married a "woman, and
divorced three years later. On
September 11, 2004, he married
again: this time with his partner
of 10 years, Tom Stearns. It is a
legal marriage in Massachusetts,
where the couple lives.

If you go to the St.
Michael’s College web page and
click on Alumni, Parents and
Friends, then on publications,
you’ll get to St. Michaelk
Magazine online. The alumni
magazine is in its 5th year of
quarterly publication, full of just
what you’d expect: a feature or
two, college news, and page after
page of “Class Notes,”‘inter—
spersed with a few pages of wed-
ding photos-and marriage and
birth/adoption notices. (As of
mid-May, the most recent issue
online was “Autumn, 2004, Vol. »
4, No. 4.”)

So, naturally, Docker,
who has been a regular donor to
his alma mater, called to find out
the procedure for marriage
announcements. “I called the edi-
tor, Caroline Crawford, and asked
about the procedure, and she told
me. Then I said it was for a
same-sex wedding and asked if
the college had a policy. She said,
‘This is the first! I’ve been wait-
ing for this call!’ She seemed
genuinely excited,” Docker
recalled in a phone interview.

He sent in the news to
the alumni magazine along with a
photo including himself, his hus-
band, and two other St. Mike’s
alums who attended the wedding.
“And then I waited for the next
issue,” Docker said.

His expectation that his
wedding would make the wed-
ding page wasn’t unrealistic.
After all, the college has a gay
student alliance, and gay faculty
and staff work there without sex-
ual orientation-based difficulty.

— St. Mike’s just promoted a gay
, faculty member to the dean’s

office.
But Bill Docker’s wed-

The photo Bill Docker submitted to hi
Docker and Tom Stearns, and St. Mike’s alumnae

cling photo wasn’t run at all, and
his announcement wasn’t listed
with the other marriages, but with
the small-type “Class Notes” for
1975. “It wasn’t treated the same
as other marriages,” Docker said.
And they didn’t even get the date
right, printing that Docker was
married on September 11, 2001.
Docker said he then

I called Crawford back. “‘Oh, I’ve

been dreading this call,’” he

remembers her saying. According »

to Docker, Crawford told him
that the president of the college,
Marc vander Heyden, pulled the
announcement from the page
proofs.

In a phone interview last
month, Crawford confirmed that
Docker did send a wedding
announcement and a photograph.
The Winter issue had been laid
out “before I was made aware of
the policy,” she said.

“The policy was
revealed to me this way: Because
we are a Catholic college, our
publications must reflect the mis-
sion and policies of the Catholic
Church, and we could not treat
his marriage the same way we
treat other marriages. Marriage is
a sacrament in the Catholic
Church,” she continued.
Crawford confirmed Docker’s
recollection of the content of the
conversation, but said she’s not

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sure that the decisionto pull the
photo and announcement was
actually made by vander Heyden.

Crawford said the alum-
ni magazine has run photos and
announcements of civil unions,
most notably that of Stan Baker
and Peter Harrigan, and that they
have run in the same section as
the “gallery of wedding photos.”

So, Bill Docker, a
Provincetown resident and
fundraising consultant, then
called his other contact at the col-
lege, Richard (“Rit”) diVenere,
the Associate Vice President for
Alumni Relations. “He said there
were a lot of issues, a lot of
older, conservative Catholic
alumni, and it was an issue of
serious donors, what wealthy
donors want from the college and
from the magazine,” Docker
recalled.

L Docker was indignant
enough to insist that his name be
removed from all solicitation and
donor call lists. “I told him I did
not want to be contacted any
more or contribute to a college
that would not treat my marriage
equally.” He also confirmed that
he had requested the return of the
money he had already donated to
the college.

When asked for a com-
ment for this article on William
Docker’s situation, DiVenere

.

s alumni magazin.e From the left: Newlyweds Bill
Rosemary Carroll and Paty Wallen.

said, “We are not at liberty to dis-

’ cuss anything with you at the

present time.”
Called for a comment,

Buff Lindau, executive editor of
the magazine and director of pub.-
lic relations for St. Michael’s
said, “We are very respectful of

individuals. We never intended to '

cause the upset that we have
caused. We are a Catholic college
and we live within our mission.”

Lindau said the “editori-

al boar ” made the decision to
withdraw Docker’s wedding
photo from the magazine. The
editorial board consists of the
“Institutional Advancement
Office managers,” she said, .
which does not include the editor,
and suggested that the issue of
how to deal with same-sex
alumni marriages is the subject of
“ongoing dialogue.” She said she
did not have the dates on which
the policy was decided.

“It is important to be
clear,” said Publisher Anne
Whitmore Hansen, “that the
alumni magazine is a marketing
tool, not a news journal. It is pub-
lished to promote the mission of
the college, to provide a liberal
Catholic education.” _

Hansen added, “St.
Mike’s has done a great deal in
support of individuals and toward
promoting tolerance and accept-

 

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

ance.” Printing a same-sex wed-
ding photo “would put the col-
lege in direct ‘challenge to the
Catholic Church.” The situation
has been the occasion for “a
tremendous amount of dialogue”
on how to handle such issues in
the future.

The publisher denied
that as a marketing tool for the
college, the magazine’s concern
was to avoid offending wealthy
conservative alumni and donors.

The real issue for him,
Docker said, is hypocrisy.
“They’re saying ‘We’ll let you on

2 the bus, but we’ll put you in the

9”

back seat.

“There’s nothing I can
come up with to answer that,”
said Crawford. “Part of the mis-
sion of St. Mike’s is to uphold
the values and _mission of the
Catholic Church. We absolutely
support the worth and dignity of .
every person.”

Docker also wrote to
President vander Heyden and
copied the letter to magazine edi-
tor Caroline Crawford, to Rit
DiVenere, and to the Diversity
Office. “No one has contacted
me. Nobody has called to say
‘We’re right and you will always
be wrong’ or ‘ We’re reviewing
our policy,’ or anything. Nothing.

“I know I’m not going
to change the Catholic Church.
But I’m concerned that they want
to have it both ways: it’s okay to
be gay on campus, there’s a gay
student alliance, there are gay
faculty. But [they’re saying]
don’t expect to have a traditional
life afterward, and if you manage
to make one, we won’t recog-
nize it.

“If they’re going to have
a litmus test for ‘legitimate’ mar-
riages, why aren’t they asking
other couples to sign affidavits?
‘I have never used birth control,’
‘I have never had an abortion,’
for the women; “I have never
been divorced or married a sec-
ond time.”.’ V