Yes, We Have No
Bananas (Part 2)

e last time I titled a column
I “Yes, We No Bananas”, I
was writing about a nutcase
by the name of Andrew Cunanan,
the “gay spree killer” who infa-
mously murdered Gianni Versace.

_ Now I’m doing it again,
and — is it coincidence? - the name
of the nutcase in question almost
rhymes. The latest embarrassment
to all of gaydom is one Jeff
Gannon, whom, if you’ve read the
newspapers beyond the front page,
or have listened to Air America
Radio, you’ve heard about by now.

You see, Gannon repre-
sented a conservative “news
bureau” (Talon News, a web site
operated by a wealthy Texas
Republican) at the White House
press corps and lobbed softball
questions at President Bush and his
press secretary - while lobbing
anti-gay articles at the rest of us.

 

President.” Apparently, unlike
other members of the media that
the Bush administration paid out-
right for consulting services,
Gannon was willing to give away
for free what he (allegedly)
charged for on the intemet (at rates
of up to $1200 a weekend, accord-
ing to some reports).
In fact, at a news confer-

Unlike other members of
the media that the Bush
administration paid outright,
Gannon was willing to give
away for free what he
(allegedly) charged for on

the internet.

The trick was ~ and I use
that term intentionally — he is or
was also allegedly a gay male
prostitute with semi-nude and nude
photos on the intemet and either is
or was the owner of or contributor
to (depending on which story you
believe) websites like hotmilitary-
stud.com, militaryescortsM4M.
com, workingboys.net, and mili-
taryescortscom.

And Gannon’s not even
his real name. It’s James Guckert.
We think;

For two years, “Jeff
Gannon” was a member of the
White House press corps, and dur-
ing that time he mocked John
Kerry’s “pro-homosexual plat-
form” with the headline “Kerry
Could Become First Gay

ence in January, Gannon asked
President Bush how he could work
with Democrats “who seem to
have divorced themselves from
reality” (a bend-over question if
ever there was one). It made me
wonder just how strong a grip on
reality Gannon himself might
have. After all, this administration
swept into office, in part, by work-
ing up anti-gay sentiment from the
so-called “moral values” crowd. If
Gannon is gay, one would think that
might be a little bit of a conflict.
The weird thing is that
I’ve actually looked at some of the
photos alleged to be Gannon on
the web (and yes, the face looks
like the person in the press confer-
ence videos and there are no tell-
tale signs of alteration). And he’s

actually pretty sexy. When that
thought occurred to me, I wanted
to slap myself. How could I actual-
ly think titillating thoughts about a
guy who’s apparently been butter-
ing his bread on both sides? On the
one hand, he’s (allegedly) making
money for gay sex stud services,
while on the other he’s earning a
living from pandering to homo-
phobes. Could I not at least have _
found him unattractive? _

But that’s the thing with
the Gannons and the Cunanans
(see, it almost rhymes) of the
world. If they were weird or unat-
tractive, they wouldn’t be able to
get to places where they could do
the damage they do.

It’s been almost sad to
listen to liberal talk radio trip all
over themselves noting that “It’s
not about the fact that he’s gay”
and instead that it’s about credibili-
ty, security (was there no back-

ground check?), and blatant propa- '

ganda. No, it IS partly about the
fact that he’s (allegedly) gay. As a
gay person, Gannon’s work (not
the alleged escort work — from a
libertarian perspective, I think
prostitution should be safe, legal,
and regulated) was actually anti-
gay. It’s no different than a Jew
writing Nazi propaganda, or a
black person writing KKK mani-
festos. It’s incomprehensible, and
it’s just plain wrong.

And he brings up all
those old clichéd anti-gay notions
of “He could have been black-
mailed if someone knew about his
double life, so he was a security
risk!” — notions that the liberals
find themselves in the awkward
position of repeating (which I wish
they’d stop). As an added bonus,
Gannon becomes a case in point to
the religious right of what bad
things homosexuals do.

But on some level, as
with Cunanan, the Gannon case
shows just how much like the
straight world we are: we got
bananas, too. V

Columnist Kevin Isom is the
author of It Only Hurts When I
Polka and Tongue in Cheek and
Other Places, available at book-
stores and online. He may be
reached at is0monlirte@a0l.c0m or
KevinIsom.com.



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