enovation dreams are
coming to a Home Show
ear you, and soon.

There are all those lovely dis-
plays of ways to improve your
igloo, dramatize your domicile,
paint your pied-a-terre. The
Home Show is a place to dream,
just don’t forget that it’s fantasy
material: the results may be as
wonderful as advertised, but
even at its best the process can
bring homeowner heartache.

Yes, yes, that’s the
voice of very recent (ongoing)
experience. I will try not to
whine — anyone with enough
money (or credit) to renovate a
house has no business whining
about it; .

We are, as of this writ-
ing, five months into a three-
month job: expand the kitchen
from a narrow galley into an
actual room, expand the two
small bedrooms upstairs, and put
in an upstairs bathroom (after 18
years, those trips down in the
middle of the night have gotten
really old). Sounds simple
enough.

Our contractor had
done prior work for us — he’s a
good,“sensitive new-age.”
(straight) guy, nonsmoker, some-
one I feel comfortable having in
my lesbian—feminist home. And
he had done beautiful work on
some cabinets, along with excel-
lent repairs to water damage,
insulating ceilings, and installing
a floor. His work partner is cut
from similar cloth. They clean
up after themselves, no small
consideration when you’re living
in the space being renovated.

Let me say right now
that I’m convinced anyone else
would have been worse, much
worse. It’s the process that’s
painful. Lesson one: nothing will
go smoothly.

We had architect’s
plans, broad outlines really. We
agreed to go on ‘time and mate-
rials’ and shook hands on it — the
Vermont way. We got a founda-
tion under the new part of the

 

OITM editor Euan Bear shares a cautionary tal of

 

kitchen and central heating: 20
percent of the budget gone.
Getting comparison quotes on
(Subaru) Andersen windows
instead of (Mercedes) Marvins
took almost two weeks, holding
up installation. We had to shrink
the bathroom 10 inches so as to
not drill. a 6-inch sewage pipe
hole through the major support
beam.

And on and on like that
— small changes and large ones:

Then there are the sub-
contractors: electrician, plumber,
tiler, countertop installer, dry-

V wall taper, roofer. For about two

months I was sure the plumber

‘was God — I never got to see

him or talk to him directly, and
could communicate with him
only through the intercession of
my builder.

A

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home improvement: “nothing will, go smoothly.”

Our builder talked a
few times about how hard it is
for homeowners to live in a
space being renovated. “I’ve‘
made homeowners cry,” he said
early on. We nodded, remember-
ing that renovation appears on
lists- of divorce-inducing ‘life

' stressors.’ Months later when we

told him, “Oh no, we never said
we’re putting vinyl flooring in
the bathroom,” we almost made
him cry. It’s still a point of dis-
agreement as to who said what,
when about the bathroom floor-
(we compromised on tiles — he
didn’t have to change the depths
of the fittings, and .we don’t have
to have cheap plastic in our nice
new bathroom). The heated dis-

cussion ended with a group hug.

We’ve been living for
months with exposed floor joists

    

overhead; drywall dust; splatters
of taping compound everywhere;
and incomplete countertops
(installer’s faulty assumption,
despite written instructions). We
had to cancel vacation plans
when the plumber decided it was

more important for the small cel-

lar (home to the water pipes, fur-
nace and water heater) to be
heated than our living space
(can’t leave in December when
your only heat is a woodstove).
Every day we wrapped in plastic
and unwrapped everything in the
house we wanted to use.

But nowvwe’re also liv-
ing with beautiful kitchen cabi-
nets; new, more efficient appli-
ances; lots of light through new
casement windows; new plumb-
ing; central heating; and the
increasingly realized vision of

 

e  

how it will be when we’re done.

So, lessons learned, as
my partner says, though since
we’re never going to do this
again, those lessons might have
limited applicability. But here
they are: take notes; write things
down; ask lots of questions —
especially about time—energy—
availability implications of deci-
sions, how one thing affects
three others. Try to get timeta-
bles for pieces of the project, but
be flexible. The finishing of the
vent for the kitchen exhaust fan
waited for a month while the
temperatures were lurking below
zero. The interior window trim
waited because the weather was
then warm enough to do the out-
side siding. The sidi-ng session
was left incomplete when the
temperature dove back into neg-
ative territory. The floors (sand,
stain, polyurethane x 3) waited
for the drywall taping-topping-
painting to be finished.

In general, builders pre-
fer to do what’s standard, what’s
easy, what’s popular, using what
they can get at their favorite
lumber yard or plumbing supply
house. If you want something A
special or different (with us it
was a particular size of shower
base), you might have to fight
for it, even though you’re the
one writing the checks. That’s
where a lot of the frustration
comes in. And everything you
order will take at least a month
to arrive. Remember that electri-
cians do electrical, even when
it’s in the bathroom.

Final lessons: keep your
eyes on the prize, plan to spend
more than twice the amount you
thought and for the job to take
twice as long as estimated, and
be careful how often and to
whom you vent all that frustra-
tion. Good luck! V