Views: out in the ountains Three Dykes and a Butch leven states may have voted to ban our right to marry. but America is still the land of the free and the home of the betrothed. I'll be damned if sucky elections will stop me from going to same-sex weddings. The last lesbian nuptials l attended were conducted on the fam- ily ranch of one of the spouses-to—be. about a hundred miles south of town. Four of us friends rode down togeth- er in Debby‘s Honda CRV. of which she is the proud new owner. ()ur pal Debby claims to be butch. Her car is butch. her hair- cut is butch (short-short. no product). and her clothes are iiuuuy butch. Debby wouldn't be caught dead in anything but T-shins and Jeans. or for extreme fancy occasions. like a wedding. a plaid button-down and l)ockers. Wifey and l are big old dykes ourselies. ss ith nothing in our dress-up wardrobes sw ankier than elastic waistband pants and color- coordiriatcd shins. We are clearly outclassed by (lure. the one straight woman in our entourage. She shims tip for the trip wearing a stunning blue linen dress suit. matching eye shadow and high-gloss lipstick. Next to her we look like the Clampetts. but he). we're down with di\ersity. So there we are lootling along the interstate. chatting up wliatey er it is homtis and straight people find in common. such as the benefits of supplemental calcium and our contempt for the Patriot Act. We're making good time and may actually arrive before the ceremony if we don't stop to eat. That's okay with us because one of the brides is a gourmet chef and the wedding feast will be sumptuous. We're get- ting into a good discussion about Kellec's baba ganouj when blammo! The car bucks like a wild womiin on a thigh ride. What the hell‘? Did w hit soinetliing? ' Debby white-knuckles the steering wheel and fights the pull like she‘s reeling in a marlin. Wifey and l squeeze bruise-marks into each other's thighs. Dcbby‘s freckly com- plexion flushes scarlet. clear around to the back of her neck. upon which my gaze is rigidly fixed. The car hobbies to a stop alongside the guardrail. Clare matter-of-factly points out we've blown a tire. We could have been killed. Life and limb no longer in danger. I check my watch. No time to change a tire. l'm a triple-.-'\ mem- ber but none of us brought a cell phone. I jump out and try to flag dmin a do-gooder. hopefully one with a phone. I feel like an idiot. All those years of martial ans. a.s.senive- ncss training. and lesbian empower- ment have come down to this one bizarre moment — me flailing my arms in the wind like some berserk Olive ()_\‘l calling Help.’ Popeye.’ Traffic zooms past. My traveling companions stand at the open tailgate. Popeye not fonhcoming. l give up on wav- ing at specders and join my gang behind the car. Turns out that while Debby has owned this vehicle two whole months. she has never looked at — nor for that matter even located — the spare. You'd think a real butch would have been on top of that. Here we are. three lesbos in sensible shoes. and a straight woman in heels. all dressed up in our Sunday-go-to-wedding clothes. Nobody wants to get dirty. It's like we’re in shock - our bodies are here but our wits apparently kept barrel- ing down the freeway without us. Clare. not waiting for us to snap out of it. kicks into action. She lifts the floor panel. We three big tough lesbians just stand there, staring at a rubber ring the size of a hemorrhoid cushion. Clare hefts out the tire, biceps bulging under the still-pristine blue linen. and rolls it around to the front passenger side where the flat tire is. The jack handle lies in tinker-toy segments. assembly required. Following poorly translated small-print instructions. we three Neandenhals fumble to piece togeth- er the industrial-yellow metal tubing. Clare uses the handle's prying tip to remove the hubcap. but she can‘t get enough torque with the dinky tire iron to loosen the lug nuts. Here's where we come in. our Amazonian power awakened at last. Clare holds the lug wrench in place while l step onto the bar. bal- anced by Wifey and Dcbb_\'-the- Supposed-Butch. Gentle bouncing loosens each nut. Clare rolls the jack into place.jack.s up the car. removes the lugs and sets them into the upturned hubeap — all without get- ting so much as a dust mote on her nicely manicured hands. By the time the blown-out flat is removed and stowed and the spare is mounted and secured. we three lezzies are filthy with road din. Clare remains unsullied. There's no time to stop to wash up or we'll miss the wedding. Luckily. Clare has - moist towclettes in her purse. Note to self: never go to a lesbian wed- ding without a real butch along. V Writer Sa1I_\‘ Sheklow pays her AAA dues‘ in Eugene. Oregon. Looking Back and websites. perhaps with an iiidependcnt reviewer updating subscribers on the hottest. weird- est. qiieerest sites. ()r if the rightwing crackdown gets worse. we'll return to print-only ptiblicatioii on outdated tcclniology. small .sanii'/.- dat-style pages passed secretly l'roiii hand to hand. There might be onliiie versions. sent via duiinny accounts or projected by web cam- eras on walls or light-sensitive paper. The old July 2004 issue might be a coveted. rare artifact. with its bold blazing color and proclamation of equality and soli- darity. ()r the new Lesbian Avengers and the Mariposa Posse (gay “buttcrl'lie.s"') will do hit-and- rtiii installations of queer gtierilla art in holograms in public squares. It's true — it's niticli easi- er to imagine II future of oppres- sioii than one of freedom. We kiiow what opprcssioii feels like. but we don't really know the full- ness ol' freedoin in an abundance of equality. Perhaps another getter- ation will make the difference because of what we do here and now. Perhaps another generation can dream bigger. What will the future be? It's largely up to you. to all of us. Write us with your dreams for the next I0 or 20 years. V Iimm Hair is Iii-giririirig Iierfnurili your as editor of'OlTM. Financial Planning is important for anyone. For gay and lesbian partners it can be crucial. For same sex partnerships, proper financial planning can help ensure that you and your loved ones are properly protected. As a Financial Consultant, my goal is to meet your needs in a relationship based on trust and professionalism, working closely with your attorney or CPA to develop a strategy based on yourunique situation and objectives. Call me for a free consultation. Mitchell Rosengarten Financial Consultant (802) 775-4371 or (800) 628-2132 90 Merchants Row Rutland, VT 05701 THIS IS WHO WE ARE. THIS IS HOW WE EARN IT.‘ SMIIHBARNEYE ‘ Smith Baney does not offer taxor lega advice Please