Tongue in Cheek:
Dining Out

ere are many things that
straight folks never have to
think about. Like who's

going to be top and who's going to
be bottom. ()r whether to put a
rainbow decal or a Human Rights
Campaign equal sign on the
bumper of your car. Or how to
behave when you‘rc dining out.

This last issue is some-
thing that would never even cross
the mind of our straight counter-
parts. If a guy is with a girl on a
date. or a husband is with his wife.
nary an eyebrow is raised in any
restaurant they go into. They can
hold hands. look googly-eyed at
each other. and even (within the
bounds of decorum) kiss affection-
ately. and the reaction will general-
ly be “Oh. how sweet."

But put a gay couple on
a date into a suburban Cracker
Barrel restaurant. and you've got a
whole different circumstance.
There can be stares and. worse.

 

when you get home. do you feel
like a war veteran with post-trau-
matic stress syndrome? At a mini-
mum. I find that I'm on a height-
ened state of alen during such cir-
cumstances (alen level fuschia.
tangerine. or the dreaded
aubergine. depending on the sever-
ity of the situation — Tom Ridge
would have been proud). even
though l consciously try not to
modulate my behavior beyond the

Put a gay couple
on a date into a suburban
Cracker Barrel restaurant,
and you've got stares and

physical safety issues.

physical safety issues. (You're still
stuck on the gay guys on a date at
(‘racker Barrel. aren't you’? ()kay.
to suspend your disbelief. let's
make it an Applebees. There are
gays in the suburbs or in smaller
towns or rtrral areas. after all.)

No matter ltow otit yott
consider yourself to be. doit't you
find that when you're in the sub-
urbs, or on a road trip. or if you
live in a smaller city or rural area --
don't you find that you change
your beliavior".’ You're more like
“btiddies" instead of boyfriends or
partners. (‘ial-pals. instead of spit-
swapping. naine—.shariitg lesbian
woinyii.

If you do. do you feel
bad for doing it‘? If you don‘t.

norm for me. (My theory is. of
course. that ifl don't expose these
straight suburbanites to gay cou-
ples. then who willl?)

Maybe it's that discom-
fort that has led in pan to a spread-
ing phenomenon in the gay com-
munity: the gay supper club.
Around the cotintry over the last
several years. gay supper clubs
have been springing tip ~ from
l../\. to ,»\tlanta to ()klahonta City.
These are organi‘/ed groups of gay
folks who meet at a restatirant and
take the radically OUT step of 
having dinner together. Granted.
they typically choose places a little
more upscale than a Cracker
Barrel. bttt there is safety in mim-
hers. and when you‘re in a big

group. no one feels self-conscious
about being different from the
other diners. Some. like Atlanta’s
Big Gay Supper Club. take over an
entire restaurant.

Pan of the appeal of the
dinner clubs is that they provide
another alternative to gay bars for
meeting others. And most people
enjoy eating and conversation,
both of which you can’t really find
in a bar. (Well. eating food. any-
way.)

And older gays enjoy
eating and conversation. too. as I
discovered recently in Ft.
Lauderdale. when I happened upon
a restaurant called Chardee’s
Dinner Club. It's not exactly a din-
ner club like the ones I‘ve already
mentioned. though in a way I-sup-
pose it is. Chardee's is billed as >
Fort Lauderdale's oldest gay '
restaurant. I think they may have
meant the clientele as well as the
age of the business. When we
walked in. it was like entering an
episode of the Golden Boys. There
were groups and couples and sin-
gles all around — nary a non-silver
hair in the bunch. And it was
charming. These were retired gays
having a grand old time.

One night (we went more
than once). there was a pianist-
singer who kept the crowd danc-
ing. I hadn’t seen anyone do the
jitterbug in ages. and these couples
could really move. I‘m even fairly
certain I witnessed a couple doing
the Charleston. They were having
such fun. I suddenly felt really
good about the idea of growing
older and retiring someday. (But
note: Will there be anyone in our
age group who even knows how to
do the jitterbug at retirement? It
seems to me that disco dancing
might feel a little out of_ place at
Chardee's.) Another evening. there
was karaoke at the bar. which stan-
ed piomptly at 9 PM. And not a
song past 1964 was sung by any-
one.

It was just another night
at the dinner club. Dining out. gay
style. V

l\'cvr'rr Isorn is the author of It Only
Hiins When I Polka and Tongue in
C heck and Other Places. ai'ai'lai>Ie
at Imuk.vror'ex and airline. He mu_v
he l‘(’(I(‘Il(’tf at isiirnoiilirte@aoI.conr
or ii'ii'ii'.Kcrirrl.vorri.com.

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