I Do Laungh 

Kate Clinton laughs at

iage, politics,

Viagra, Homeland Security and more

 

BY E. LYNNE LEMONT

up’ Kate ('linton. one of
the more high profile skep-
tics Us hen it comes to incor-

porating a patriarchal concept like
“rnarriage" ittto lesbian culture. is
now “the nitimiiig kind." She's
eyen got the certificate from the
L'ni\ers;il l.ite ("hutch to prime that
she can unite couples of w hates er
gender in marriage.

But then again. she and
her “little panner" l'r\.'ishi Yard.
hase not yet done the deed — at least
as of the date ol this recording.
Clinton says she asked. btrt l‘r\asht
turned her down ('linton ailrnits she
wanted to do it because “we could
use the piihlicity." and then goes
into ti rill on TIN’ .\'¢'ii' York Hutu"
publication of same-sex wedding
antiotinceinents. Instead. the two
went (limit to (ill) llall (“back
when it \\ as workirig"l and regis-
tcred as domestic partners. l'lr\l
among the rights gaiiied.’ “l cotild
visit her in Jail?" Which. considering
Vaid's street—demo proclivitics. is no
small Victory. ()r so says Kate. who
then segues into the lhcn-upcoming
Republican National Convention in
New York (‘ity and a suggestion
that the Summer Olympics be com-
bined witlt the convention and all
“perforrnaiiice-enhancing dnigs"
would be harmed  except. of
course. Viagra.

And that's only a few of
the topics the fast-talking comedian
skewers with her quick jab-jab-jab-
BOOM! delivery. She asks a lot of
an audience —» like that they read the
news and follow politics. Anyone
who doesn't will be a little lost at ll
Kate (‘linton perforinance.

She's fairly even-lianded.
cltaractei'iI.iiig the l)emoci'ats as
people "who can't take their own
side in a figltt." and who, “if they
had a pltoto of (‘ieorge llusli. drunk.
naked, and going down on Dick
Cheney in the Lincoln Bedroom.
wouldn't know wltat to do with ill"

 

So yes. the content is a
little dated. but it's a snicker—pro-
ducing antidote to the recent elec-
tion results.

As alw ays. the Catholic
("hutch comes under her laser gaze
and whiplash tongue (wait. don‘t
picture that. unless we're talking
about Sister Steven). panicularly for
the child abuse scandals. She has
“Father Fondle“ and "Monsignor
.\lolesta" holding a press conference
\\l1llL‘ she rebuts tthat‘s HIM‘ ‘t' if
you please) their imagined asser-
tions. l-ather in "It's not the abuse.
it's the cmer-up." KC: “.\'o. lt‘s the
ulmw." Archbishops. she says.
“don't spin well."

The thing about Clinton. a
former linglish teacher and a stand-
tip comedian for the last 23 years. is
that there's hardly a wasted word —
e\ en the tltruw-away asides are de\‘-
astatingly funny. and you have to be
quick to follow them. If you know
local and international comedy star
Janice Perry's style. you've got it.

The lllurryilrg Kilrd is
(‘linton‘s seventh comedy album.
adding to her healthy output that
includes a book (Dnn'r Gt’! Me
Slurrcrll. and a stack of columns
from The Arlmmu-, among other
outlets. She has perfonned in clubs
and halls coast to coast. off-
Broadway. and in films (notably.
The Secret Life of [)(’ItIf.\‘I.\‘l. She
has. according to her website.
“come a long way from those first
perfomiances in Unitarian Church
basements. She still prays to the
Unit."

This is not any kind of
traditional set-tip. punchline. ‘my-
girlfrieiid.‘ ‘airline-food‘ stand-up
comedy. lixct-pt that you know it is
all cai‘el'ully planned. it could pass
for sortie kind of ltilarious streain of
coitsciotisite.s‘.s. (‘all it ‘associative.’
()ite stream begins‘ with Clinton
“talking to John /\.s‘ltcroft. Well I

was talking. he was listening." It
travels through her mother's being a
pioneer of retinal scanning (“You
look me in the eye  the number
of carb points in a communion
wafer. tongue techniques learned
from removing the Host from the
roof her mouth. guardian angels.
therapists. Jews. ltalians. truth and
lies. a lesbian health conference.
lesbian conference-goers ﬂipping
off the presidential motorcade. the
intelligence quotient of the Secret
Service. and executive colon-
oscopies — all in about 6 minutes.

.\'ow that were a market
rather than a movement. she imag-
ines Motrin sponsoring the
.\lichigan \\’omen‘s Music Festival.
and Preparation H sponsoring the
‘Sodomy Celebrations.’ Which she
then segues into a long riff on the
L' .5. Supreme Coun decisions
upholding aﬁinnatiye action and
ovcnuming sodomy laws. and the
resulting homophobic pronounce-
ments of the Axis of Medievals in
opposition and of Senator Rick
(“the ‘P' is silent") “Sanctimoron."

Vice President Dick
Cheney is “the Bush \W1i.s‘perer."
Referring to Queer Eye for the
SIr(1l_L'hl Guy. Clinton points out that
it took “five gay men to replace
Martha Stewart." “O\'er-pecton‘al-
ized" circuit party guys become
“Comish gay men." ,

In the Mideast. “the very
least they could do is put up the
billboards with the suicide preven-
tion hotline numbers."

On gay marriage as a
wedge issue: “We are like the butt
thong between the cheek of church
and the check of state."

If you like your humor
fast. political. literate. and always
slightly outrageous. The Marr_\‘iri_e
Kim! belongs on your holiday list —
for giving or getting. V

E. l._\'mr Ixrrimir Iii-es and irrirt-.\~ in
I~‘runklt'ii Corurry.

 

8 Feminist Therapy

' Leah Wittenberg
Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Psychotherapy for individuals and couples
2 Church St., Burlington (802)658-0590 ext.4
sliding fee scale

   
  
 
  
   
 
 
 

 
    
  
  

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