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Holiday Parties, Christmas and New Year '3 Eve www.lakeviewinn.biz for special packages, menus and room rates Listening to Cris Poet Lynn Martin shares her appreciation for Cris Williamson and the role of Women’: Music In her life. stepped out of life as I knew it. I walked off without money or job into the wildemess of modern living. I moved into a lesbian life. carried there on the sound of Cris Williamson's voice: "Lean on me. I am your sister: lean on me. I am your friend." The longing for such a community was overwhelming. Within the notes of this song nes- tled the joy of coming home. It was I985. in the midst of the femi- nist movement. and I was a single leaf afloat on a river hellbent for the sea. It's I9 years later. It's many relationships and a whole story of survival later. I have found good friends. l‘ve also found one or two sisters. Life provides loss and hurt.joy and redemption no matter what ground you place under your feet. Whatever life is, is your life. Acknowledging myself as lesbian may be fate. genes or accident. or all of the above. All I know is I am. But here was Cris. per- forming in a small town in Vermont called Dummerston. Someone gave me a ticket, so off I went. I couldn't imagine a woman who sold out Carriagie Hall per- forming in this small, white Grange Hall that held less than I00 people. It was of course sold out. Like few other events. the predom- inance was a white haired audi- ence. Cris has kept her audience for 30 years. That's how old her album The Changer and the Changed is this year. It is still her best selling album. When I listen to it today. I can still hear and feel the joy that went into its making. When I first saw her in Burlington, the perfomiance contained many of the songs from this album. When I first saw her, she was a symbol of all I wanted to be. I still It happened when I was 50. I have that same awe of Cris and her ability to write songs that reflect my life. But in Dummerston. I9 years later. she was not a symbol. but a real woman. vulnerable. gra- cious. seamed by life. growing older. but still singing. That. as I sat in the audi- ence and watched the play of emo- tions on her oh so expressive face. brought tears to my eyes in grate- ful response. She began the evening acknowledging her fatigue. older. Her sense of humor spoke to all of us growing-olders with our bones beginning to creak and our memories failing. Again. she was breaking the silence. Have you noticed. there is always one more silence to break’? Now it's as an aging woman. As I listened. I was com- pletely captivated.just as I had been earlier in my life. The pre- dominant emotions evoked in me were joy and sadness. Joy because Cris was herself. or as much of herself as I can know of any per- fomier. and not a mirror of all I wanted for myself. Sad because I was older. more battered. less hopeful than that 50-year-old ado- ‘ lescent I once was. Someone once told me that when you change your love to another gender. your first relationship will echo all your teen hopes and fears. It did. Sad because we were still talking about politics that threaten to disempow- er us once again. Cris. however. I.-ilseaiusnnersznunderamdealsx sometimes/lltawhanthabtuaharon uandaaoaill ihawoddetopa, andeontractato/abiuaeaacadaoffaathon, aoconcatltratadlnlnbm/avarylhingboldailabraaih. Irnaatsomaona/ckauadinabiuasldrt uidlhaaitatalaaldngwharahavalmafliarbaion. vmanhavalaaanharlatandngquiatandeanbndonbariaat, famllarlnthawayharbody/Iaanatowardaomathlng Ieaofiua? Juataaihaharonlwllioponltswlngaandauddanlydoubialb sl:a,lso,alao.doaashasupforward,tumtoanaudanea. laanlntoaorigldoubladwlihthawaiflitoiuaall. whoyaamtoily. Howvulnarabiaarathacraatunsotlhasky. Vlaiblaagalnatabiuaaowlda, thayhavanocholcabuttobawholhayara, myatarlouaandeonnaciadtothaunaaanpullofwhatavargod hadthalrnaginatlontocnatalawomanatoneaeohanail, andeomuchmon. Dummerston was close to the end of her fall tour. Initially her voice reflected this fatigue, but she got stronger and stronger the longer she sang. A brand new song, “Songbird." has four lines from Emily Dickinson in it. and if that was all I heard that evening. it would have been worth a full—pricc ticket. Cris talked to the audi- ence between songs: about grow- ing up on the prairie, about getting told us to keep doing the grass- roots work. beciitise that's what it's always been about. and still is. And as I siiid. she is still singiiig. I knew I couldn't do tiny less. This poem is my tribute to ('ris. llolly, Mairgic. l);iiiitiris and till. V Lymi Martin is a pm’! and AIDS prevenlimi worker in BruIrI¢'lmro.