I\III.\I(I

Views:
Holy Daze

's the season to bejolly  so
I they say. One's jollity quo-
tient during the Christmas
season can have a lot to do with
onc'.s politics or is that now being
referred to as one's Moral Values
(M.V.'.s)? Although I am a godless
Buddhist. I have a fondness for the
historical Jesus. although it seems
he may have had some problematic
M.V.'s of his own. Didn't he say it
would be "harder for a camel to
walk through the eye of a needle.
than for a rich man to get into the
Kingdom of Heaven?" Honestly.
the guy sounds like a bleeding
hean liberal. Those are some harsh
anti-capitalist words.

How about a little test to
determine once and for all as we
move through this lovely holiday
period. just where we stand in the
lllCf2ll'Cll_\' of M.\’,'s. 0.K.'.’

1 Bringing a same-sex part-
I ner home for the holidays
is  /\.)An abomination. B.)
().K. as long as you don't come
out. ('.i A good time. especially if
mom's queer friends are there.

2 "Jesus was born in a

I manger“ means  A.) His
parents were unmotivated street
people spoiling the town (Beth-
lehem). B.) His parents were
untler-employed and in need of
social services. (‘.) His parents
were it virgin and a holy ghost so
they get to crash wherever they
want. o.k.'.’

 

3 “Don we now our gay

I apparel“ sounds like 
A.) A complete and total perver-
sion. B.) A line from my favorite
Christmas Carol. C.) Fun. fun. fun.

The most important thing
I about Chistmas is 
A.) The economy.stupid. B.)
Presents. C.) Presence.

Jesus. on the day of his

I birth. said  A.) “If you
have an abortion. you will go
straight to hell." B.) “if you have
an abonion you won't be pregnant
any more." C.) “I am a baby. o.k..l
can't even talk yet."

Christmas shopping at

I Walmart is  A.)The
best way to get bargains. 8.) Bad

news because they have terrible
labor practices. C.) Aaaanrrrrghl

7 “Christmas is a-coming
I and the goose is getting
fat" means  A.) It's time to kill

»n¢utI\is\¢Icc\\5\ot

2.

   

.-usxttttuattuxtvsuvotxszusqass-.»~x..

out in the mountains

that goose and eat it. B.) The goose
is suffering from obesity, one of
America’s major problems. C.)
Somebody loves that goose.

Jesus spent most of his

I time with 12 other guys
because  A.) He was resisting
the temptation of being around
females. B.) He was trying to
organize a fisherman’s union.
C.) Duh. He was a flaming f ?

Christmas shopping until
I you are in debt is 
A.) Good for the economy.
B.) Being nice to family and
friends. C.) Insane.

1 Santa is ;

I A.) A right jolly old elf.
B.) A cute tradition. C.) Another
effort to dupe kids.

O.K.. enough already. If you
answered A at least 7 times. then
you are a winner: A Nomial
Member of the Moral Majority. If
you answered B at least 4 times.
you are a Low-life Lily-livered
Liberal Loser. If you answered C
more than 2 times. you are a Super
Loser and if you don't get the Fear
of God in you. you will fry in a
hell for permanent pinko pevens.
HAPPY HOLY DAZE! V

Gin Daley is an astrologer who
lives in Huntington.

 

S O m Cl I‘ 0

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A»-

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bisexual, and transgendered communities
today and build an endowment for tomorrow.

 

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