Bv EUAN BEAR lmost no one I know has escaped some Akind of violence — even if they don‘t call it" that — in their lives. But most of us hate to think of it that way, especially when the fist, the slap, or the kick was thrown by a close family member or a lover. Much easier to say “violence” when it’s coming from a stranger or an obnoxious neighbor. But they all count for SafeSpace. « Safespace is spreading the word that violence - whether it’s within our communities or from outside them — needs to be counted. That gay, lesbian, bisexual, trangender and — yes — queer lives need to count, and not just for us, but within the straight agencies that deal ‘ with violence. “Our recent work, our social change mission, is to make sure that queer victims are included in the work of existing anti-violence agencies,” said Program Coordinator Hannah Hauser in a recent interview (Executive Director Kara DeLeonardis was on maternity leave while this story was being written). The focus, she said, is not a shift away from the direct services, such as short-term counseling and making sure that victims get services they need. Beyond Gendered Violence In-the past, there was no place for a lesbian to go when her partner hit her or threatened her. Domestic violence programs operated on a gender-based model of power: men had physi- ' cal, economic and social power; women did not. There was no concept among domestic violence workers that gay men in abusive rela- tionships might need shelter, or how to provide it. We just don’t fit the gender-violence paradigm. There is still only one shelter in the state that welcomes men, in Barre. While the shelter situation isn’t changing, the agencies that provide services are slowly coming to rec- ognize that domestic violence isn’t limited to , straight folks. Thanks to Safespace — which is in its third year of service — they’re realizing their need for training on how.to deal sensitive- ly with lgbtq families, said Hauser. From July, 2003 to June 2004, 52 members of Vermont’s LGBTQQ communities called or were referred to SafeSpace, almost evenly divided between men and women. Transmen made up 10 percent of the clients, and transwomen were 8 percent. More than a quarter of the clients reported having a disabili- ty. Almost two-thirds of the calls received were about domestic violence. Another third involved sexual assault. A fifth of the calls were classified as hate crime reports. Safespace conducted volunteer train- ing last month in collaboration with the a Safety /Patrol Safespace Counts the ‘ "73 \ Harms Against LG BT Lives Safespace staff: (I to r) Youth Program Coordinator Clark Sheldon, Program Coordinator Hannah Hauser, and Americorps Vista worker Connie Beal. Missing from the photo is Executive Director Kara DeLeonardis. Women’s Rape Crisis Center. The structure represented a huge increase in lgbtq-specific content over last year’s training. Instead of a single two-hour panel on lgbtq issues, three of the seven training sessions were facilitated by SafeSpace staff. Asked why Women Helping and staff from the Women’s Rape Crisis Center and Women Helping Battered Women were invited into high school Health classes to talk about date rape, sexual assault, stalking, harassment, bullying, and abusive relation- 9 ships. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, trangender and - yes - queer lives need to count, and not just for us, but within the straight agencies that deal with violence. . Battered Women was not collaborating in this year’s joint volunteer training, Volunteer Coordinator Jackie Smith said the agency had changed its training format to a monthly series. The agency sent a speaker to the training for a panel of service providers. Youth Outreach SafeSpace hired its first Youth Program Coordinator, Clark Sheldon, this year. Sheldon “It was tiring, but really good,” Sheldon remembered. “We were kind of the ‘baby’ organization, the little sister to the other two. If there was any hesitation on the teach- ' ers’ part about including SafeSpace, I never heard about it. The teachers were really»sup- portive.” ‘Sheldon has also collaborated with Outright Vermont in facilitating discussions during their Friday night groups on any topic of the youths’ choosing, including body image, relationships, racism, homophobia and fat pho- bia. “These are really broader issues than domestic and dating violence, but we are able to tie them in,” Sheldon explained. “They’re all about our own beliefs about ourselves and how society’s beliefs affect us.” Hauser and Sheldon agreed that any- thing that has a negative effect on self-esteem can encourage a person to stay in an abusive relationship. climate Change There’s also the fact that SafeSpace has a dual mission: advocating for lgbtq victims of vio- lence — hitting, kicking shoving,'sexual assault, threats — from within their fan1ilies_ and our communities; and documenting the bias inci- dents occugring in the wider community. “We are now collaborating with the LGBTQAA ' Services office at UVM, so we will be record- ing bias incidents on campus, too,” said Hauser. *~ ' Legally, hate crimes involve a threat of harm directed to someone because of their race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and so on. The person making the threat must have an intent to harm and be capable of carrying out the threat. “We take a broader view of hate crimes,” explained Hauser. “The so-called ‘minor’ incidents enable some of the really gruesome destruction. The idea is to change the _ climate that allows these incidents to happen and to be ignored.” No Paradise _ Burlington has long been regarded as a “safe haven” for lesbians and gay men, a liberal col- lege town with a reputation for queer and femi- nist activism and progressive politics and poli- cies. But as Jackie Weinstock, chair of the SafeSpace board of directors, said, “Under the surface there are power and control issues. [The city’s] reputation for safety brings people here, but we’d like to earn that reputation. It doesn’t mean we don’t have domestic violence or hate crimes.” She continued, “It’s about time we had something like Safespace. It took until this decade for the lgbt community to create an agency to help ourselves when we’re in violent situations. I wish it wasn’t needed.” And like most social change organi- zations, SafeSpace sees its goal as putting itself out of a job. V SafeSpace3‘ “warmline” (802-658-1996) — is stafled from 9-9 on Mon. & Thurs. 10-6 Tues., Wed., & Fri. The group is looking for a web- _ savvy volunteer to help them make their web- site “as gay as possible.” Their annual benefit “Healing Laughter” will be staged on October 23, see the Calendar for details.