Translating into a
New Life

Editor’s Note: April Elizabeth
wrote a column for OITM in 2001-
2002 while transitioning from male
to female. She stopped writing for
us when family, work, and health
concerns left little time or energy
for writing. April just “got done”
at IBM and is facing the world as
an unemployed female for the first
time in her life. She sent along the
following perspective on where she
is now.

at IBM on a Thursday after not

being able to get myself to go
to work Wednesday. I talked to the
diversity rep there and told her I
was burned out and had enough.
People would stare and talk before,
and now I am more “developed,”
having implants, and the thought of
seeing these people literally made
me sick Wednesday night.

I have no bad feelings
towards IBM Corp. They have
treated me wonderful, backed me
up 100 percent when I had prob-
lems so bad I couldn’t deal with it.
But I had transitioned there, so I

H went to HR [human resources]

elizabeth
access to any support groups. And
some people choose to work nights
because they have a problem get-
ting along socially.

It was time to go, time to
move on. I tried to get a job out-
side the clean room so I could at
least present myself in a more fem-
inine manner. Times are tough, no
job movement, and I was getting to
feel pretty trapped in a situation I
didn’t want to be in. While talking
to my HR rep, she listened, was
compassionate, told me all my
options including staying, and
pointed out specifics about pursu-
ing various resolutions. IBM is

It’s a stretch for anyone

to work with a man

for 2 years and have
someone tell you,

“This is April from now on,
she is a woman now.”

can’t really see things getting much
better: after 2 years with the same
people I still get “he” a lot. I grew
up with many of my co-workers,
and I work in a bunny suit: all one
can see is your eyes with no make
up. I don’t have Britney Spears’s
voice, and to them I look the same
as before all covered up. It’s a
stretch for anyone to work with a
man for 2 years and have someone
tell you, “This is April from now
on, she is a woman now.”

I know they tried, most of
them anyway, and there are always
the few that never will. Working
nights makes it tougher as I had no

good about that — at least they
always have been with me. But it
got to the point I didn’t want to
fight anymore, didn’t want to feel I
always had to walk on eggshells.
It’s just time to move on.

We agreed on a fair way
for me to leave without too much
pain financially to me. They even
told me they would pay for coun-
seling for a while through a pro-
gram they had. IBM has helped me
through what could have been the
worst time in my life. They helped
me get my surgeries done, and
even paid for my time off, which
was extensive due to complica-

 

tions. I couldn’t have gotten where
I am without their help. I will
always be grateful.

I know there are a lot of
stories not as good as mine.
Society will take time to adjust to
us in the workplace, but as long as
we have diversity-friendly places
like IBM, it will get better. All
good things take time and patience.
We just need more workplaces that
walk the walk and not just talk. I
walk away from IBM with pride
and dignity, and sorrow as well.
It’s a hard decision to walk away
from a corporation like that. I will
still help IBM any way I can. This
is tough on any company trying to
make things fair while respecting
others.

But I leave knowing they
will keep working at it and making
things better and that’s all one
could ask. Sometimes in life we
only see the bad, the negative.
Sometimes we can actually expect
the bad so much we can project it
on others or even make it happen.
And sometimes We just have to
have a bit more faith in people, and
even if they don’t get it right the
first time, be thankful they tried
and know they will keep trying.
When I meet an old friend who
doesn’t know I transitioned, I get
“he’d” a lot. They keep trying to
get it right and in time they have
trouble seeing you as your old self.
Be wary of ignorance and bigotry,
there is plenty around. But never
close your eyes or you will miss
wonderful, beautiful, caring people
that want to support you, to respect
you and yes hopefully someone to
love you.

I went to IBM as an
unhappy trans person living
through my own internal hell as a
male. I left as an unemployed
woman with the whole world in
front of me, with my limits being
only what I make them. Life does-
n’t get any better than this. Who
knows? Maybe someday things
will pick up and I will get a jobat
IBM where I can wear makeup,
show off my hair, wear pretty
clothes, and most of all give back
to a wonderful company who gave
so much to me. V

April Elizabeth is a busy parent of
two children and lives in Milton.

 
   

     
 

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