Bv CYNTHIA Porrs

‘ ‘ very day, over 100
Echildren statewide are
in foster care, waiting
to be adopted,” the newscaster
declares. Over 100 children?

Your girlfriend is smart,
caring, nurturing — perfect mom
material. You’re not too shabby
either, and with two professional
careers, the two of you could easi-
ly offer any child a warm, loving
home that includes a little more
than the basic necessities.

After long heart-to-heart
discussions, hand—in—hand you
head to your ob-gyn for informa-
tion on sperm donors, or to the
nearest adoption agency for an
interview and an eventual home
study. You’re ready to become the
latest pair of mommies on the
block.

So now what happens?
How do you make sure that both’
of you “count” equally as parents?

If you live in Vermont,
you’re in luck, legally speaking,‘
thanks in large part to Deborah
Lashman. A family-law attorney
herself, Lashman’s own prece-
dent-setting adoption case was
heard by the Vermont State
Supreme Court in 1993.

“At that time, Vermont’s
adoption laws had been
unchanged since the 1940s,”
Lashman explained during a
phone interview. “The court con-
sidered the issue of same-sex
adoption, and returned with a very
positive opinion. That opinion
became codified, encompassed in
specific law.”

“The Adoption Reform
Act of 1995 opened the doorway
to joint adoption by gay and les-
bian couples,” said attorney Beth
Robinson. “Civil union legislation
simply reinforces that decision.”

“With civil unions,”
Lashman explained, “the law pre-
sumes that both partners are the
natural parents of the child in
question. However, because other
states may not recognize a civil
union, I counsel my clients to
legally adopt their children.”

“There are an awful lot
of unanswered questions about
civil unions, marriage, the DOMA

Rosie Tabachnick. 7, has three parents.

The Gfaybies are Booming, Despite Vohstasces

. There's no consistent national
policy on gay adoption -
which means that your home
address determines whether you
should start painting the nursery.

law,” Lashman concluded. “It will
take years to sort them all out.”

Beyond the Borders

You and your girlfriend don’t live
in Vermont? The legal picture
grows infinitely more
complicated.

A majority of states
require couples to be married
before they’re allowed to adopt,
effectively prohibiting gay part-
ners from forming families. The
current drive toward equal mar-
riage rights is propelled in large
part by the desire of gay and les-
bian couples not only to create

families, but to protect existing
ones.

Gay and lesbian individ-
uals can adopt in most states, pro-
vided that they, like any potential
adoptive parent, can prove to a
judge’s satisfaction that the pro-
posed living arrangements are in
the child’s best interest. There’s
no consistent national policy —
which means that your home
address determines whether you
should start painting the nursery.

In Florida, no dice.
Despite the recommendations of
several well-respected organiza-
tions — including the American

Academy of Pediatrics and the
North American Counsel on
Adoptable Children — the
Sunshine State absolutely pro-
hibits adoption by gay and lesbian
individuals or couples.

Mississippi prohibits
same-sex couples from adopting,
although they recently agreed to
revise a birth certificate to reflect
the adoption of a Mississippi child
by two Vermont lesbians.

But 24 other states have
granted same-sex second-parent
adoptions. A so-called “second-
parent” adoption occurs when one
partner, through biology or adop-

- same-sex adoption.

' “Originally I just wanted a sperm

 

tion, already has legal custody of
the child. The second partner then
petitions the court using the same
adoption process any stepparent
would. This procedure streamlines
the legal proceedings, eliminating
procedural steps like home stud-
ies, statutory waiting periods, and
formal accounting of adoption '
expenses.

If you and your girl-
friend aren’t in a civil union or
married, it’ll make second-parent
adoption more difficult, if not
impossible. For example,
Pennsylvania only recently revis-
ited a law that required the legal
parent to relinquish all parental

rights to the child being adopted? ;
unless the child was being adopt- _ _

ed by a spouse. If there’s no
spousal standing, there’s no
advantage to adoption.

In a frightening number
of states, adoptions are granted on
a case-by-case basis. Potential
parenthood can depend on the
political leanings or religious
views of an individual judge.
Determined parents keep trying,
and are slowly turning the tide
toward wide—spread acceptance of

Other Arrangements
Queer folk are famous for creating
their own families, making ‘cho-
sen families’ both a watchword
and a goal. No one exemplifies
this better than Northampton resi-
dents Jane Fleishman and her
partner, Joan Tabachnick.

“I had entered into an
agreement with a gay man to have
a child,” Jane explained.

donor, and I was going to have
this baby on my own. But Irwin
wanted to have a role in the
baby’s life. And when I was four '
months pregnant, I met Joan.”

A wistful tone floated
across the phone wires as Jane
continued. “We had the most
amazing courtship. She’s just so
wonderful, and we fell in love. A
few months later, Ezra was born.”

Ezra, now 11, and
younger sister Rosie, 7, have two
sets of parents — similar, but still a
little different from children
whose divorced parents have
remarried. Joan explained: “Jane