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Coming

Out Is

In The etails

BY CYNTHIA POTTS

n the odd chance that
nobody’s noticed, let me
be the first to tell you:

sometimes it’s hard to decide if
you’re gay or not. Being 18 and
a freshman at Columbia
University isn’t exactly a piece
of cake, either. Throw in some
tough questions about finances,
friendships, and parental relation-
ships, not to mention a hefty
dose of Jewish-tinged introspec-
tion, and you’ve got Stanley
Ely’s coming-of-age novel, In the
Steps of Mister Proust.

This novel, Ely’s sec-
ond, is set in the early days of
the AIDS era. It centers on the
interaction between our protago-
nist, Josh, his roommate,
Richard, and his on-again, off-
again lover, Dean. Tangential, yet
still important, are Josh’s rela-
tionships with his brothers and
with his father, who had left the
family four years earlier to move
in with his lover, Hugh.

Still stung by his
father’s abandonment, Josh finds
an unlikely solace in studying the
works of Marcel Proust.
Renowned for his exacting
descriptions of everyday life,
Proust seems an unlikely model
for a college freshman. Yet it is
this academic pursuit that helps
Josh parse his feelings to the nth
degree, as well as earn praise
from Professor Hungerford. Ely
does an admirable job of keeping
Josh’s relationship with
Hungerford a mix of profession-
alism and intimacy — the hints
are there, but the actions are
never taken.

It’s a motif that repeats
throughout the book. J osh’s inter-
actions with an attractive hustler
named Al create a time-line of
self-acceptance, almost as clearly
as the awkward development of

 

his relationship with Dean.
Dean is an incredibly
patient lover, apparently smitten

with Josh at first sight, and will- .

ing to wait through Josh’s orien-
tation difficulties. A larger issue
is Dean’s misshapen leg, a birth
defect that Josh has a hard time
going to bed with. Dean is unnat-
urally complacent about Josh’s
attitude, a jarring break with real-
ity in an otherwise well-written
novel. The only scene where

Dean even confronts Josh about I

his leg comes across flat and
devoid of any real emotion.

On the other hand, the
scene where Josh accompanies ‘

his roommate home is exception-.

ally done. We stand awkwardly
with the young man in the .
kitchen as he hears Richard tell
his parents that not only is he
gay, but he’s also HIV-positive.
They’re not sure which is the
bigger tragedy? an interaction
that forces Josh to reconsider his
relationship with his own father.
Josh comes across as

incredibly self-obsessed in his
dealings with his father, which is
a fairly accurate picture of most
18-year-olds. Even though his
father is involved in the lawsuit
of his life, Josh’s concerns center
on whether or not his tuition will
be paid without tapping into his
trust fund. He does make some
inquiries into financial aid, only
to bring down dad’s wrath. Dad’s
resistance to financial aid is
another jarring tidbit — does any
family put a child through uni-
versity without incurring some
debt? — but reveals a great deal
about this complex, under-devel-
oped character. Over the course
of the novel, we get a tantalizing

. of the subtle nuances ofa life in

glimpse ofa relationship in flux,
the subtle dance that occurs when
the child becomes adult. ’

Like Proust, Ely takes
his time working through the
minutia oflife. We know all
about Josh’s meal plans, his class i
work, and a thousand other
details that in themselves are
wholly without significance. The
artistry lies in tying these tiny
points together to create a coher-
ent whole, one that captures all

transition. Proust was a great
observer, and Ely follows in that
tradition. '
The novel is aimed at a
young adult audience, but would
resonate better with readers old
enough to remember the times
being described. Today’s teens
have encountered AIDS preven-
tion information as early as ele-
mentary school. As a result,
Josh’s naiveté throughout the
book would seem affected at
best, willful ignorance at worst.
Viewed with knowledge of the
early l980’s, this book becomes
an insightful companion on
Josh’s journey into life as an

, adult gay man. V

Cynthia Potts lives with her fam-
ily and an ever-growing collec-
tion of animals in Plattsburgh,

N Y She welcomes reader com- ;
ments and can be reached at
ctpotts@juno.com '