avender izzie:

Queeries and Quandries

ear Lavender Lizzie,
DDuring my summer travels, I

met a guy in the midwest. He
lives in North Dakota. We pared
around with each other for the better
part of a week  ended up in bed
together the last night in a very sweet,
hot encounter  Then I had to get in
my car and drive home. Sigh 

I emailed him a few days
after I returned home  he returned
my email the same day  andl
responded  but haven’t heard back
from him yet.

I didn’t “plan” to “fall” for
him  but I thinklhave  and I am
not quite sure if I should just let these
feelings “sit” for a bit  or ifl should
tell him. I mean, let’s face it: long dis-
tance relationships .,. well, they most-
ly never work (or so‘I have been fore-
warned by well-meaning friends ...).
But I also can’t help the way I felt
while I was in his arms  sigh 

Signed,

Long Distance Longing

ear Longing,
Oh my. All this sighing and
trailing off  Ms. Lizzie just

LOVES the delicate drama of it all!
She can tell you are still in that
dreamy state. When else is it so diffi-
cult to finish one’s sentences?

But Ms. Lizzie is ever the
practicalist! So she is going to bring
you right back to Earth with some
rather “undreamy” questions:

1. Do you have the MONEY to travel
to see him on a regular basis? It is
true that ox-cart is cheaper than air-
planes, and Ms. Lizzie knows some-
one who is thinking about selling her
oxen, but you would be a long time
on the road if you chose this route. I
advise airplanes whenever possible,
which means a great deal of cash
indeed. '

2. If you do not have this cash, you
are lefi with some rather unpleasant
alternatives: phones and email. While
these may stem the flow of longing

for a short while (and, Ms. Lizzie has
heard to her shock and horror, these
media are used to satisfy other desires
than simple social contact with one’s
beloved), they are ultimately unsatis-
factory as a means to conduct an
ongoing relationship.

3. If you agree that the above options
are impractical, would you actually
consider uprooting your life here in
lovely Vermont, where there are lus-
cious boys-a-plenty, to go OH to some
even colder, emptier Mid-Westem
clime in the hopes of finding warmth
in the bedsheets (because, I promise
you, you will find warmth no where '
else in that frozen Tundra)?

4. Might he consider moving here? If
so, Paradise is not around the comer
just yet. He would have to find a way
to make a life for himself here that
was not simply an extension of yours:
he’d have to find work, friends, hob-
bies, etc. which will make him feel
like a whole person and not an

29   

appendage to you. Does he have these
capabilities? It’s not everyone who‘
can do this 

No, my dear, I’m afraid that a week
together and a final night of hot
sweetness is simply not enough to go

' on. Ms. Lizzie is delighted that you

had such a lovely encounter, and

wishes you many more in the future,
but with someone who is a tad closer
than God’s Frozen North. I hear that

 

Brattleboro can get quite chilly in the if . ',

Winter. Why don’t you try for some-
one there?

Lovingly,

gill?//M/fl/6 

Unless you’d rather go on with all that
sighing and longing. Then, by all
means, go right ahead with this pur-
suit. Hmm  maybe I should buy
stock in American Airlines  V

Lavender Lizzie has been lovely for , y 

over a century. Born and bred in the r ‘
Victorian Era, she has brought her
sage and genteel perspective‘ to the
lovelorn for decades. Write her with
your 'queeries 'at lavenderlizzie@
lavenderlips. com.

I

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