Good legal advice
can make all the difference.
V

Langrock Sperry & Wool offers the services
of 22 lawyers with over 300 years combined experience
in all areas of the law —- including two lesbian attorneys
with special expertise serving the legal needs
of the g/l/b/t/q community.

SUSAN MURRAY & BETH ROBINSON

With offices in Middlebury and Burlington
" Middlebury (802) 388-6356

Burlington (802) 864-0217
smurray@.langrock.com brobinson@langrock.com

Langrock Sperry & Wool, LLP ,

ATTORNEYS AT LAW

 

   

Laurie S. Rosenzweig

 

Attorney at Law
Real Estate Law, Wills, .
Family & Civil Union Issues
PO. Box 1455 - General Practice ‘
Rutland, Vermont 0570l

Phone & Fax: 802-786-2251 Free initial consultations

Sabu234§azAOL.COM

Nancy Ellen Judd, MA
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor

COUNSELING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY

§802§863.2084

2 CHURCH STREET, BURLINGTON VT 05401

 

TEENS I ADULTS | INDIVIDUALS I COUPLES_

  

RVMK North Professionals

www.condoguy.com

(802) 655-3333 EXT. 17
(800) 639-4520 EXT. 17

lame it on the metrosexu-
als. First it was the
evolving fashion sense.

Then it was skin care (moisturiz-
er, and sunscreen, and exfoliants
— oh, my!). So it couldn’t have
been far behind. Yes, makeup for
men has arrived. Sure, it’s been
around in some limited fashion
for years (sneaking a compact of
oil-absorbing pressed powder at

‘the Walgreens into your shopping

basket, borrowing your girl-
friend’s powder brush — and
never giving it back, keeping a
tube of concealer on hand for
those days that your skin thinks
you’re going through puberty all
over again), but now, thanks in
part to those damned metrosexu-
als, makeup for men is going
mainstream.

Now, I doubt that we’ll
be seeing the Fab Five of “Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy” sug-
gesting makeup to their straight’
makeovers any time soon. (By
the way, does anybody besides
me think that Carson Kressley, of
“Queer Eye,” dresses just horri-
bly? Witty and funny he certainly
is, but Clinton and Stacy of What
Not To Wear could really tell
Carson, well, what not to wear.
But I digress.) Yet, maybe the
Fab Five just might be doing that
soon, because those in the busi-
ness of male makeup say that
men ARE ready for makeup-as
long as youjust don’t CALL it
makeup. '

Case in point: British
King of Shaves founder Will
King refers to his XCD (pro-
nounced “exceed”) men’s cos-
metics line as “discretionary
facial enhancement products,”
which sounds more like a mar-
keting line for Viagra“ (“discre-
tionary penile enhancement prod-
ucts,” anyone?). In other words,
it mightjust work. And King
sells his line of DFEP’s at CVS,
the ubiquitous drugstore chain,
where you can buy a tinted mois-
turizer (called an “improver”)
and a concealer (called a
“corrector”).

There are plenty of
other competitors in the market-
place, too: Clinique, Menaji
Skincare for Men, Kenmen (ken-
men.net), and Tout Beau Tout
Propre by Jean Paul Gaultier, to

 

name a few. Menaji’s products
are purposely packaged in black
— no pinks or pastels here! And
since men didn’t know what a
“tester” was, all the Menaji dis-
plays read “try me” instead. It’s

all in the translation. Gaultier has

a double-sided concealer and
eyeliner — which looks like a
ballpoint pen. Plausible deniabili-
ty, it seems, is key. (“What?
What do you mean that’s a cos“-'
metic? I had no ideal”) Perhaps
in keeping with that concept,
Menaji designs its men’s prod-
ucts to be more “undetectable”

Men don’t want anyone I
to think they're wearing "
anything — they just
want people to think
that they wake up ,

The akeup of th: Man?

-where women seem to be biolog-

ically programmed to heap on
trowels full of makeup each day
(it protects them from the sun,
you know — I think the last time
my mother’s skin saw direct sun-
light was back in 1964). Are
straight women and gay men
really ready to deal with the
presto-change-o partner?
A While you’re pondering‘
that dilemma, here’s another
potential streak in the bronzer:
has anyone thought of water-
proofing? With summer upon us,
picture it: Prince Charming
smiles, dives into the pool — and
leaves a trail of colored pigment
floating to the surface in his
wake. He emerges, looking
absolutely nothing like the man
who dove into the water.

It’s pretty scary stuff.

Yet, as a moth is drawn ‘- i

to a flame, as middle America is
drawn to the IceCapades, so, too,
I’m finding myself drawn to the
idea of “discretionary facial
enhancement products.” It rolls

TL 5::

looking mahvelous. 

than women’s products. Men
don’t want anyone to think
they’re wearing anything — they
just want people to think that
they woke up looking
mahvelous.

Of course, beauty has
always been only skin deep. But
here’s a disturbing thought: with
men’s makeup, beauty could be
even LESS than skin deep. That
beautiful guy you’ve started dat-
ing could wake up in the mom-
ing looking absolutely nothing
like the hottie you went to sleep
with. This is a dilemma that l’ve
always associated with straight
men — especially in the South,

off the tongue so seductively, so
simply — so availably at CVS.
Perhaps I, too, will soon

look absolutely nothing like
myself. But underneath that
bronzer, that corrector, and that
improver, I’ll know that it’s still
me. Just enhanced. V

Kevin Isom is the author of It
Only Hurts When I Polka and
Tongue in Cheek and Other
Places, available at bookstores
and online. He may be reached
at isomonline@ao[.com or
www.Kevinlsom.com.

s