. ., ...-_._......,..,...._.. American Outraged t is with great reluctance that I write this. I am not really an activist, I pay little heed to the political climate, and I generally go about my life in as quiet and unas- suming way as I can. Even as a gay man, the subject of marriage rights for gays and lesbians did lit- tle to register my interest, especial- ly since I never even wanted to get married. But since seeing our President make motions to change the constitution to ban gay mar- riage, I cannot remain silent. People like me are exact- ly what is keeping gay marriage from happening — people who believe in it but are not willing to stand up and fight for it. In our apathy there is acquiescence; by allowing such injustice, we are condoning it. In our silence there is far greater danger than in any pub- ' lic disagreement or political grand- standing. When people are contem- plating’ amending the constitution to deny the rights of one segment of the population, some- thing is definitely wrong, and it is at this time that I must speak out. ’ My partner Andy and I have been together since the sum- mer of 2000. He is a retired police officer, having served his country for over nine years before getting injured on duty. Andy sends me off to work everyday with a home- made lunch, does our laundry, cooks dinner and organizes our finances. Together we own a home, we share a life, we have everything but a marriage certificate. We pay our taxes and our mortgage, we mow our lawn, and weare bound by the same laws and regulations that govern any other citizen, yet we are forbidden to marry because we are of the same gender. Our nation s constitution has stated that we are all created equal, that one person is as valid as another —— so how can we deny one person the right to marry another, man or woman? I am not asking to marry more than one person, I am . not asking to marry a child, I am not asking to marry" an animal, and it s disgusting that I even have to defend such charges. Marriage used to be a cel- ebration of love —— a bond honoring the life"-long commitment of two people. Why should I be hated for. my love? Why should Andy and I be banned from celebrating our love and our life‘ together? In a country that honors freedom, how can we be denied the freedom to love and cherish another person, simply because we re of the same gender? I do not speak up now as a gay man wanting to get married. I speak up as an American outraged " at the segregation and inequality that has been created by refusing a certain group of people the right to marry. ' How would my marrying a man denigrate or even affect any- one else s marriage, or the institu- tion itself‘? Would people be less faithful if I got married? Would other marriages be tainted or cor- roded by mine in any way? It seems that divorce and separation are more damaging to the institu- tion of marriage than two gay peo- ple making a lifetime commitment to one another. Quickie Las Vegas weddings and reality television shows bargaining off brides and grooms for money are doing more to destroy the institution of mar- riage than anything I could ever accomplish. If people truly care about preserving the sanctity of marriage, let us ensure that those who get married truly love one another, and care enough to fight for that right. The opponents of mar- riage for gays and lesbians seem to bemissing the point. This is not about preserving the sanctity of marriage. It is simple hatred — homophobic prejudice aimed at an innocent group who only wants to love and celebrate that love like every other person can. .What they are really trying to stop is two women from loving each other or two men sharing a life together. But that has already happened, and it s going to continue to happen. Love cannot be contained or bound by a piece of paper or a legal proclamation. Some Americans will likely disagree with my opinion. They may think I am asking for special rights or promoting a homosexual agenda. They might claim religious points and wield a strict adherence to a rigid reading of the Bible. lfthere are enough of them, then they will probably con- tinue to deny me and other gay men and women the basic American rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But they will never be able to take away the love that Andy and I.share, and they will never silence me from proclaiming our love. All the con- stitutional amendments in the- world cannot alter that. V Alan [lagan lives with his partner in Loudonville, NY. Reality cont’d from previous page straights! Or maybe, taking a cue from Nancy Reagan s anti-drug campaign, Just say no to pre- marital sex — heck, just say no to marriage and have all the sex you want! (And make Bill Clinton real- ly envious!) No, that s probably too long. Most of the anti-g'ay mar- ‘fiage folks have trouble with sen- tences longer than God hates fags. Or perhaps’, Civil unions - I can t believe it s not marriage! Interestingly, there was a little-recalled amendment proposed to the U.S. Constitution back in 1912, an amendment to prohibit marriage between whites and per- sons of color. Not only did the amendment fail and the U.S. Supreme Court eventually overturn state laws against interracial mar- riage, but by 1997, 77 percent of whites approved of marriages between blacks and whites. As divorced from reality as I m feeling over the anti-gay marriage nonsense, I don t think we ll have to wait quite that long. V Kevin Isom is the author of It Only Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in Cheek and Other Places, available at bookstores and online. He may be reached at isomonline@aol.com or www.KevinIsom.com. ”lF Your SHOW ME Yowe RES!/LLTS I'LL SHOW YO!/t IN I’ ,-\tll\ Av-rm r,’/~.mu~'. 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