:~::‘*4'r:- A. 1 very gay man always has a favorite aunt. We seem to be genetically predisposed to it. Even if we don’t have one, we’ll make one up — an older friend will ' dojust fine. Some of us have both '— my boyfriend has an actual aunt V who lives in another state and a friend-from-growing-up “aunt,” whom he’l1 still take on outings. In I . any case, if you’re a gay man, you probably have one. In my family, it’s my Aunt Barbara. When I was growing up, going to her house was always a welcome escape. Compared to my own everything~must—be-in-place ’ . home (my mother, I am convinced, was once a member of Housecleaning Youth), my aunt’s house was like stepping through the looking glass. No, I never actu- ally saw a talking rabbit — but you Going‘ to my "aunt's house e aortA dog, who was after my uncle’s newspaper. There was always a story. We shared a love of plants. I was a budding horticultur- ist, and the greatest praise I had from my aunt was an assertion that my thumb, like the goldfish water, was green. I could root anything. She would give me an African vio- was like stepping through the looking glass. a story. could never be quite sure. It was as if everything had been perfectly Organized, and then, just for the fun of it, tossed into the air and allowed to land where they might. Over here you’d find the antique Chinese porcelain fish bowl. “Monstrous, isn’t it? Look down inside. Do you see the gold- fish swimming in the water? No? T00 green to see him? Well, I’ve been meaning to clean it, but you’ll See him poke his head up every “OW and then.” Over there you’d find a rare species of orchid, only Just about to bloom. Or at least, it Would have been, if the cat hadn’t knocked it over while chasing the There was always let leaf or two, wrap them in alu- minum foil, and I would take them home, carefully coat them with root stimulator, and gently stick them into vermiculite so that they would propagate. I think I liked plants so much because they were one of the few things in life you could reasonably control. If you cared for them, they would usually reward you. They weren’t like school and the other kids there, for I instance. They — and she — IICVCT treated you badly for who you were. Likeall favorite‘ aunts, , 1 ‘ my aunt has the requisite wicked sense of humor, though she would 3 untl never admit to it herself. She delighted in telling the story of her own aunt — because it could never be, say HER, who actually said such things — who_was faced with an obscene caller night afier night. Finally, annoyed and determined, the woman responded to the obscene caller with, “Well, dear, I beat my meat, too. I use a good meat tenderizer hammer, and I pound that bleeding, flattened piece of meat until it tears apart with ease after broiling for 45 min- utes at 325 degrees.” He never called again, my aunt explained with a wicked smile. _ My aunt’s husband, my uncle, died recently, rather unex- pectedly. And at his funeral, Aunt ‘Barbara was not wailing -with grief. At least, not publicly. She was mad. She is abeliever in the power of individual choice, and she was angry — at herself, at my uncle, at I the doctors — for failing to make better choices to avoid my uncle’s fate. I think it was the horticulturist in her. She believed that ifhe’d had the proper care, she could have tended to him longer. Only, sometimes, you can’t control the way things turn out. It’s part of the throwing things in the air approach to life that makes the most sense to me. You hope that they land in the best pos- sible place, but it they don’t, then — oh, well, it was just as good a place as any. There is beauty in disarray. That’s the only way to accept life -— and death. Afier the fimeral, even _ without_ her husband, she still had- n’t lost her smile. As I was leaving, she introduced me to a friend and said, “Kevin is a writer. He gets to travel, and he writes atticles with tongue in cheek.” Yes, with tongue in cheek. Just like my favorite. aunt.V Kevin Isom is the author of It Only Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in Cheek and Other Places, available A at bookstores and online. He may be reached at isomonIine@aoI.com or www.KevinIsom.com. . .35/Acne-IttN.o1eAc l‘l-‘VI’ @ -' If "L MQNDAYS 4-7 PM. A éaoo-e«4;9—24»37~ st. J01/rvtsburg 1235 H ospttat Drtve wealvtesalag 3-9 pm RutLavL0l "FOR CHRISTMAS I WOIALD LIKE FOR BOY 27 .S0lxLlfl’I Main street Weolrtesolag 10 am-1 pm Mov»tpt:Lier._ 73 Matvt street suite 401 December 5 and 1 9 2-spwt qeoieqe TO BE PRESIDENT AND FOR FREE ACCESIELE HIV TESTINC,” HEY, ONE or/LT OF Free C Ar ll\ Artur» ivmotr. TWO Al NT BAD Hf: CX('.L:(-'L[.3 No NE cm [.2 Vermont .9 METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH Sunday Services @ p.m., 14 December & 28 December At RU12? Community Center, 1 Steele St., Suite 113, imme- diately south of Union Station on the waterfront (Ground floor of the Wing Building at the north end). Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) is a Christian church with a primary ministry to the Lesbian, Gay, Bi- sexual, and Transgender Community. All are welcome. 20 Charming Rooms Peace & Privacy ‘Q76 ‘Hi hlandg ‘Inn P.O. Box 118 Bethlehem, NH 03574 603-869-3978 1-877-LES-B-INN (537-2466) A LESBIAN PARADISE 100 Acres~Pool Hot TI.Ib0Trails wwwzhighlandsinn-nh.com vacationOhigh1andsinn-nh.com Hummingbird ]{aVen 6 Bed and Breakfast Jtffordable elegance In a country setting 956 Xlchford Road .XIcllfard.Vermont 05476 802-848-7037 www.sover.net/~5youree Bev Vouree and Carol Wepton Your has tesses 5yauree@sover.net