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The

many years I’ve heard every-

day, ordinary straight folks talk
about how they think being gay is
all about sex. Well, obviously, it
isn’t. But isn’t it odd that any
straight people would ever dare to
say that at’ all — when the biggest

It’s fascinating how for so many,

new drug in years-to hit the market ’

(pun intended) permitted men to g
get a proper erection for sex.

' And that another drug,
LevitraTM, has now sprung into the
same market. And that yet another
drug will soon pole vault in to rival
these two — and this third one has
the advantage of being effective for

a full 36 hours. In fact, in Europe,- ,

they’re already referring to this
drug as “the weekenderf’, .
Now, I don’t know abou

l you, but I don’t want an erection

for 36 hours. How do you walk
around -— go to the grocery store -
pick up the dry cleaning? Though,
for that last chore, I suppose it ‘
would provide extra hanging space.

So let’s re-cap, In the ‘
space of a few years, not one, but '
three “erectile dysfunction” drugs
appear on the market, and not a
single cure for cancer has made it
through. It looks to me like hetero-
sexuals are focused on nothing but
sex.

Need more proof? I can

» just look at my email for that.

Every day, I get email offers for all
manner of drugs and devices to ‘
increase the size of my penis. The
ads all say that the women in my 1
life will just be ecstatic if I do.
Since, in my case, the idea of my
mom, my sister, and my best friend
getting excited over the increased
size of my penis is a bit disturbing,
I’m having to assume that these
emails are aimed at straight men.
Either that,'~or face several more
years of therapy. _

In my same email in-box
each day, I get all sorts of emails
that saypthey are from hot teenage
girls wanting sex with me, if I will
only visit their websites or call
them on their 1-900 numbers.
Again, I’ve a feeling that these are
aimed at straight men, and I’m just
the lucky beneficiary of their
largesse.

But aside from the appar-
ent total sex focus of straighteni-
ture revealed by these emails,
there’s another profoundly interest-
ing conclusion. Follow me closely

asu Of‘ “:9 Man , 
in the Age of Viagra“"  

 

here (just not too closely, please).

' It seems that, fromzall the
multitude of penis enlargement ads,
a lot of people must think I have a‘

small penis. But from all the hot

teenage girls wanting sex ads, it
seems that a lot of hot teenage girls
want to have sex with me. There
was only one conclusion: Hot
teenage girls like men with small
penises. E
_ I was dumbfounded when
that hit me. Talk about schizophre-
nia in the culture! So in gay cul-
ture, there’s a focus on pecs and _‘
abs and penile endowment. In .
straight culture, they just can’t
make up their minds!

Imagine how all this must
affect the world at large. If penis
size is the new measure of the man,
then does that gnean that Alan
Greenspan is lowering interest rates
to feel powerful because his
deposits are too small? Are
blowhards like Bill O’Reilly and Al
Franken just disturbed because they
make hot teenage girls very happy
indeed?\It’s‘ a rather disquieting
thought. A -
I’m actually beginning to
miss the pre-Viagra” days. I never
needed to know how happy Bob
Dole made Elizabeth. I’m amazed
when I watch the television ads
that tout a guy appearing different
to his friends and colleagues, all
because he’s gotten a prescription.
“New haircut, Bob?” “Have you
been working out, Bob?” “Did you
get a raise, Bob?” A

Are we not to be dis-
turbed that taking a drug that gives
one a knotty oak should make
everyone else around sit up and
take notice? Isn’t this just rather
sick? I don’t WANT my assistant at
the office to lmow that I’m pleas-
antly perky. Particularly if I still
am, because I took “the week-
ender” mid—Saturday aftemoon.

It’s also fascinating to me
that the focus here has been almost

, but it’s not my fault the drug com-

_g both men can take the drug — or
both women can leave it alone.

. Hurts When I Polka and Tongue in

 

  
   
  
   
  

uniquely on the male accoutremen
Yes, I’ve read that it’s “more difii
cult” to do anything to assist those
poor, un-stimulated women out
there, but thatjust doesn’t ring
true. And what of all the women
married or involved with men who
are out there drugging up? Is it a  ‘
case of, “Come on, honey, rev up
those engines, cause I’m ready for
take olf! Yes, I know you don’t feel
like getting out of the starting gate,.

panies are focused on selling to
me!” , V
‘At least with gay folks,

Though I suppose that, given that
women enter their sexual peak later
in life than men, it might be for the A
best that older men can now have A ‘

I don’t wan‘ .
an erectio”;
for 36 hours
Howldo yo,
walk around: 5
go to th I
grocery store, ’
pick up th 6
dry cleaning;

  
  

 

   
    
  
       

 

the rock-hard fortitude of their for-,
mer selves. 7
It’s all just too confusing.
But one thing is clear. It’s hard to
take the measure of the man, in the .
age of Viagra”. V '

Kevin Isom is the author of It Only;

Check and Other Places, available j
at bookstores and online. He may”; i
be reached at isom0nIine@aol.c0(it. ..
or www.Kevin1som.com.  A