An Epidemic iofLove  

me that yet another woman I

know has cancer. In the past
several months the toll from can-
cer in my social circle has risen
beyond already unacceptable lev-
els — breast, colon, uterine, lung,
cervical. I suspect this is not a
phenomenon I am experiencing
alone. Surely it is an epidemic .

I just received an e-mail telling

that deserves as much attention as .

any ten hot warring countries.
Helpless is a weak
description for what I feel, yet I
have learned that I can do some-
thing, I can be a friend. We’re all

‘so essentially alone when dealing

with diseases of body and mind,
but I see this scourge uniting us
in ways little else could. When I
heard that my ex’s partner was ill,
I spontaneously ended a years-
long silence with a note of sup-
port. Cancer is the great equaliz-
er. Differences and past angers

We’re all

so essentially
alone when
dealing with
diseases of
body and mind,
but I seejthis

scourge

uniting us in
ways little
else could..

pale next to the instinct for clan-

' wide survival.

So we send energy and
green healing light, visualize a
healthy, thriving friend, embark
on a course of meditations or I
prayer and donate whatever we
can in the way of money or time
— weaving all of this into a fabric
we use to wrap our friends in
love. Around here, we’re getting

A good at this.

Over time a sort of
crones’ resource kit with healing
rituals for radiation and
chemotherapy and special diets
rich with strengthening nutrients
will evolve. Even now organiza-

 

tions are coordinating services

like “hospital visits, rides to

appointments, home visits, house-
keeping, gardening, pet care,
laundry, meal preparation and
help with confusing medical bills
or insurance problems,” as the
Mautner Project suggests.

Is the raging current of
cancer a product of aging? All of
the diagnoses I’m hearing about
have come to women in their 50s
and older. Maybe this is normal
and only new to me because
these are my contemporaries. Is it
a signthat we are taking better
care of ourselves and going to the
doctor so the cancers are being
caught earlier? This would be
good news in terms of survival. Is
it a sign that the medical estab-
lishment has responded to femi-
nist pressure and is paying atten-
tion to something besides
prostates and male hearts? Have
the medical schools accepted and

, trained more women physicians

than they used to and are these
women now listening to women
patients as we have never been
listened to before?

Probably these are all
factors in what feels like an
awfully high incidence of cancer
around me. But what I fear is that
this is no statistical fluke reflect-
ing better, earlier reporting. I fear
that as our planet gets more pol-
luted, as our foods become more
processed, as corporations change
the very chemistry of what we
ingest and breathe, that we are
the guinea pigs of a radical future
designed for profit, not people. I
fear our bodies are failing to
adapt to an atmosphere in which
space explorers would refuse to
land without heavy-duty protec-
tive gear. I hope I’m "wrong.

Whether there is an
increase in cancer (and I no
longer trust our government to
report this) or I have simply
reached an age when illness
becomes more common, I have a
challenge before me. The lives of

my friends are seriously disrupted
and they need help. ‘What I see
evolving is lesbian family like I
have never seen before. And not
just lesbians — neighbors, people
at work, estrangedin-laws, child-
hood buddies from across the
country — everyone wants to help.
It’s like a blizzard, when the
whole block comes out with
shovels and hot chocolate and
good cheer. I hear a collective
belief that positive thought and
huge amounts of love can heal, or
at least prolong life. Even "when
it’s time for someone to go, the
caring remains to carry the sur-
vivors through grief.

More than one friend
has told me that although it’s no
fun, having cancer taught her a
lot. It’s teaching me too. Of
course its prevalence in my life
leads me to worry, “What will I
do if —” I start thinking about
how home is where, if you have
to go there, they have to take you
in, and get depressed about going
backwards toward my relatives
who have enough on their hands
without the return of the never-
popular family queer. But I don’t
see that happening. I see families
I never knew were there being
created and expanded. I see all
kinds of help, from the national
Mautner Project for lesbians to
local groups to pharmaceutical
giants that make drugs available
at little or no cost.. _

I sure hope no one else
in my life ever gets cancer, but
now I know that when the cure is
found, it won’t be the only mira-
cle inspired by this disease. V

Founded in 1990, the Mautner
Project is the-only national
organization dedicated to les-
bians with cancer, their partners
and caregivers. For more info:
The Mautner Project, I 707 L
Street NW, Suite 230,
Washington, DC 20036,
Voice/TTY 202-332-5536; fax
202-332-0662. E-Mail maut-
ner@mautnerproject. org.

Lee Lynch is the author of eleven
books including The
Swashbuckler and the Morton
River Valley Trilogy. She lives on
the Oregon Coast and comes
from a New England family.

Copyright Lee Lynch June 2003

Condoms

continued from previous page

worked tirelessly over the past
three months to fix a bad bill and
ensure that the final legislation

‘reflected sound pro—family princi-

ples.” says Ken Conner, President

of the Family Research Council.
This War on Condoms
seems to be more ofa War on Sex.
It demands that human beings
behave in a way they simply do
not and never have. It seems to
say, “You in the gay community, if
you cannot simply stop having
sex, then we want you to die.” V

Noel Figart lives in Fairlee. 
can be reached at '
noel@pentide.com.

 

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