In March 1998 I wrote an
article for OITM called
“On Serenity and

Revolution” where I announced '
(mostly to myself) that I switched
bottom lines. I would no longer let
my political theories guide my
behavior, but would pay closer
attention to my spiritual principles
as I lurch through life. I’m in the
midst of another lurch, figuring out
how to be spiritually ethical while
supporting positions that place me
in the camps of political radicals.

There was a time (about
20 years ago) when a lot of my les-
bian feminist cohorts were disdain-
ful of spirituality. Most of us equat-
ed spirituality with -religion, and
most of us queer folk were wound-
ed by organized religions as we
struggled to affirm our gayness.

One lesbian I interviewed
in a series of sessions with
Burlington activists said, “I had
rejected religion because I was
raised Catholic, and I was certainly
in grave danger if I looked at
Catholic rules since I was sleeping
with women. I was forced to
choose, so I rejected religion.-I did-
n’t know-there was any other alter-
native”

_..~:- Another woman said,

Us queer fglk

have been

wounded by

  organized  

religions

as we've
struggled to
affirm our
gayness.

“Judaism waslvery tied up with
sexism. I had to go to Hebrew
School up until the age of thirteen.
I remember taking a confirmation
class. It was an all-girls class taught
by an orthodox rabbi’s wife. I hated
it and cried because I was going to
have to wear this pink dress and go
up in front of the podium. We each
had to say this speech divided up
into parts describing the role of the
Jewish woman. It made me sick
because I didn’t believe a word of
it. I wasn’t going to wash the chil-
dren’s feet, make a kosher home,
make the husband’s bed.”

Lately, the implication of
clinging to spiritual principles
while trying to remain a political
activist feels confusing. Take my
stance on the Middle East. As a Jew
attached to the survival of Israel I
find myselftrying to accept a more
nuanced perspective towards the
Israeli/Palestinian conflict than sim-
ply shouting in the streets that the
Israelis are the bad guys, and the
Palestinians are the good guys.»

I certainly acknowledge
that the Israelis need to stop the

Radical Identity Crisis

 

occupation and allow (let alone
help) the Palestinians to build a
viable state of their own, but not at
the expense of Israeli survival.
Giving up some land and sharing
the resources more equitably, yes —
but I often feel myself backed into
a corner when the voices from the
Left trash the hell out of Israel and
refuse to acknowledge that going
after civilian populations on either
side is not the answer.

I also admit that my
yearning for a non-violent solution
comes from a place of privilege: I
don’t have to live directly under
siege, nor do I have to mourn the
death of my child blown up in a bus
on the way to the market. Yet my
rational mind tells me that all these
punishments and retaliations only
wreak more havoc.

If I_ don’t put my body on
the line to liberate Palestinians
(such as standing in front of Israeli

?’ ‘~talnks or sitting in Palestinian hous-

es about to be blown up) than ‘am I
not doing enough? If I take time to
cultivate compassion for both sides,
then am I minimizing Palestinian
suffering and Israeli abuse of
power?

_ Cultivating compassion
for both sides of a conflict is one
spiritual principle I’m working on.
When I practiced lesbian-feminist
politics years ago, haste, impatience
and intolerance for those “unen-
lightened” unfortunates who were
in my way (potential allies or so-
called"‘enemies”) polluted my
process. .
Here’s an example from.
one of my interviewees of how the
old Burlington Women’s
Community hurt each other by our
aggressive earnestness to right all
wrongs. “I remember ‘Rebecca’
really attacked me once. She said I
should educate myself on Jewish
issues, and she shouldn’t have to
explain this stuff to me. I was
almost in tears, but I got up the guts
and called her on the phone.  I

said, ‘I don’t think what you’re say- .

ing is fair.  You mean that I can’t
admit that I don’t know or under-
stand something? I have to know it
all before I can be part of your
group?”

Humility, compassion,
slowing down, avoiding self-right-
eous anger and power-driven argu-
ment - these were spiritual princi-
ples that were mostly lacking in our
fervent wom_en’s community 20
years ago. One of us put it this
way: “I think it was our lack of
spiritual development that created a
lotof destruction within our com-
munity. We didn’t see how impor-
tant compassion might be.  We
were looking to free women from
oppression.  A lot.of what we

were up to was having to push
against who we thought were the
oppressors — so the whole style was
pushing against or having to con-
demn this or that.”

It is also important for me
to keep in mind that most solutions
to social conflicts are not static.
One solution always leads to anoth-
er problem. The path to peace is
ultimately a mystery. I can take a
guess, a small step; but I do better
ifl acknowledge that I don’t have
the answer. How do I know if five
thousand people standing in front
oftanks which could lead to a mas-
sacre is any more effective than
sending a letter to the ‘editor of my
local newspaper that is noticed by
one of my senators who is then
inspired to create new legislation
which in turn blocks a thousand
war-mongers?

I have no idea what will
tip the balance towards peace.
Ultimately, I have to choose the
methods that make the most sense
to me given my life circumstances
and limited perspective. The world
could probably use a thousand more
activists willing to put their bodies
on the line, but I need to avoid con-
tests based on who is the most
politically correct.

Our task is to undertake
the agonizingly slow often-painful
process of changing our own
behavior by asking for help and
working in collaboration with oth-
ers. Taking responsibility for our
own actions can include moments
of intense beauty and insight. It can
be accompanied by tears of com-
passion for our misguided pasts and
our essential vulnerability as we
grow up and become right-sized. It
can lead to intimacy with others
who are struggling to behave
morally and to recognize we will
never get it completely right for as
long as we live.

And we can still have fun.
You’d be surprised how satisfying
it is to laugh at yourself when you
realize you’re being a jerk — espe-
cially if there are others beside you
who are laughing at themselves as
well.

Life used to be simpler
when we dykes held up signs in
front of fraternities that said,
“Castrate rapists.” Perhaps we had
to use those tactics to create the
lasting institutions in this town that
serve abused women such as rape
crisis centers or battered women’s
shelters. I would love nothing more
than to see a lasting peace created
in the Middle East, but I can’tjust
point my finger at “the enemy” and
demand they be mutilated. The
enemy is within me. My “radical
credentials” are on shaky ground
these days, but] find I have to take
a leap of faith that cleaning up my
own act to the best of my ability
will set the stage for political action
that will be more effective in the
long run. v

Crow Cohen is a lesbian-feminist
who lives in Burlington.

   

Rev. Susan Snowden .
Clairooyam‘ Comzselor
Graduate of thelierkeley P.-fychic Institute ,
4* Readings and Spiritual Healing + ‘

   

 
    
 

Counseling is the priviledge of assisting you to handle
the decisions, diffieultics, and opportunities life brings.-
Clairvoyance is the use of inner vision and knowingness
during thisjoumey, embracing guidance from Source.
A reading can help identify where you are struggling
or unhappy, clarify‘ issues, gain insight, and seek direction.
' I offer a perspective from the viewpoint of Soul,
considerate of our inherent state of Graccgfoc-using, on
understanding, empowerment, and self-determination. 4
Such helps remind. us we can choose to act,
rather than react.

  

 
 
     
 

  

  
 

  
         

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