Guilford UCC Ponders

from Hartford. Connecticut who was
speaking for Open and Affirming,
and a pastor from Wilmington,
Vermont who spoke about why he
felt it should not be passed.

Another plenary session
was held on June 20, titled “Is sexual
orientation fixed or changeable?” The
speakers were a doctor from
Dartmouth and a speaker from
Exodus, an organization that promot-
ing “freedom from homosexuality
through the power of Jesus Christ.”
according to the organization‘s web-
site.

In future plenary sessions,
Ragle hopes to include speakers from
the homosexual and bisexual commu-
nities, those who have been ‘trans-
formed’ to heterosexuality, and per-
haps parents of gay and ‘trans-
fomted’ individuals. “In the fall, we
will have a panel of people represent-
ing the Welcoming and Transforming
group and a panel representing Open
and Affirming,” says Ragle. “Tom

continued from page 3

has meetings planned to the end of
this year and into the first of next
year,” adds Houghton.

Between the plenary-ses-
sions, church members are holding
small, neighborhood meetings to dis-
cuss the topic further. “These small
group sessions are not intended to try
to convert anybody,” explains Ragle.
“They are not debates, they are not
arguments — nobody wins. The point
is to listen, to hear what other people
say and know where they’re coming
from."

Elaine Petrie, a long-time
member of Guilford Community
Church (and this reporter’s mother),
has been attending the meetings and
has been impressed with the atmos-
phere of understanding. At the neigh-
borhood meeting she attended last
week, she shared with the group that
two of her five children are homosex-
ual. “It was the first time I had ever
told anyone,” she explained. “No one
had ever even asked me.”

Pippin, Not Pan

hardly talk to anyone because I was
afraid of having crushes. Then I
found Mike Lew’s book [Victims No
Longer, the first book for men about
healing from sexual abuse].

My wife and I were fabu-
lously compatible, but we weren’t
communicating about major issues,
like sex.

So I had this romanticized
image of the Faeries. Great, I
thought, here are these egalitarian
gay hippies, what’s not to like?
They’re willing to talk about things
that don’t get talked about elsewhere,
sit in a circle, use tools that the rest
of society doesn’t — or doesn’t use in
the same way — like ritual.

Ritual [as the Faeries use
it] is about change, not about staying
the same, about being open to possi-
bilities, dynamic movement, pushing
through blockage. We mess up a lot,
but we acknowledge that’s it’s okay
to mess up and move on.

Which isn’t to say there are
no rules like there are in other gay
male cultures. We have this thing
called the Faery Purity Committee.
The motto is: there are no rules here,
don’t break them.

At almost the same time, I
became a volunteer board member at
Outright — that was the fall of 1999.
By the summer of 2000 I became a
staff member when Tage Lilja left. I
began therapy then because I was in
crisis about coming out as gay and
the total upheaval that would mean in
my life and the loss of support from
my wife. It was an inspiration to be
working with these youth.

Losing my life partner was
the number one tragedy about com-
ing out as a gay man. But it was
harder to come out to my mother as
an abuse survivor. My story just
doesn’t make sense unless you know
I’m a survivor. Mom was fine with
my gay identity. But Mom had a

continued from page 6

tough time with her guilt over not
protecting me from the guy who
abused me. And I am very clear that
there was nothing my mom could
have done to protect me.

I think the kids at Outright
have been abused at a higher rate
than is true for the general popula-
tion. It takes a long time for kids to
trust you, especially about sexual
issues. After about nine months there
was a spate of disclosures about sex-
ual abuse. Queer kids are vulnerable.
They’re already shut down and
unable to talk about their feelings.

Working with Outright has
been a natural continuation of my
activist process: global to statewide
to local to personal. Now I think my
work is to work individually and
with small groups, to speak truthfully
about my own experience.
Convincing McDonald’s to buy free-
range chicken is very important
work, but it’s not my work. My work
is about gender and sexual identity
and oppression, about those abuses of
power.

Part of my work with kids
is clearly about releasing myself. I
work one-on-one, do some group
work on finding a voice to speak
truthfully about their experience. The
fact that we had, what, 30 kids at the
Youth Pride speakout is nothing short
of amazing. It is so inspirational to
watch them find their voices.

As I think about the next
stage in my life, I’m looking for sus-
tainability and work with kids. I want
always to be able to work with young
people around gender and sexuality. I
have to find work that will support
me while I‘m being trained as a
counselor.

EB: What are you proudest of in
your time at Outright‘?

CK: I’m really proud of the trust and

Everyone seems to agree
that the issue is generally split demo-
graphically, with older members of
the congregation tending to be more
against the Open and Affirming dec-
laration than the younger churchgo-
ers. According to Pastor Sparrow,
approximately 35% of the congrega-
tion is over 60, with the majority of
the balance being between 30 and 60.
Says one member of the church, “We
have a lot of young and middle-age
people in our church. I feel that it
would pass easily if we voted on it
tomorrow, but we do not wish to
drive out of the church long-term
senior members, who are much loved
and respected.”

’ Another churchgoer carries
it a bit ‘further. “People who have had

   

community we’ve built as a team of
staff, youth, and adult volunteers.
And we’re doing more work with
more youth than ever before. When
the previous staff had lefi, there were
only a few kids, and we mostly saw
them on Friday nights. Now we’re
seeing kids all the time, every day,
three evenings a week, and 20 to 30
kids on a Friday night. There’s now a
group happening in Brattleboro and
one in Montpelier. We’re building
community foundations for a very
active group of youth. Outright is
their place where they get to make
choices.

The reason I don’t like the
title “Direct Services Coordinator” is
that I don’t ‘provide’ ‘services’ in
some off-the-shelf programmatic
way. I help youth build relationships
and create community.

EB: What do you most regret about
leaving?

CK: I will miss them terribly. Losing
the daily interaction with those
incredible youth will be painful. Do
you know the book Harriet the Spy?
In it there’s a governess called “Ole
Golly” and Harriet is always very
anxious'about her leaving. And Ole
Golly says, I’m paraphrasing,
“Someday you will be ready to be on
your own and I will leave. But that
day is not this day, so let’s see what
we can do with this day.”

It’s time to take responsi-
bility for myself. I can’t be Peter Pan,
always looking for Wendy. Peter Pan
needs to learn he can make it on his
own. He doesn’t need to lose his
childhood wonder at the world. V

a higher education tend to think more
about biblical issues and theology,
and have thought more critically
about the bible. People without [edu-
cation] tend to interpret the bible
more literally.”

“I have been very im-
pressed by the discussions," states
Pastor Sparrow. “They have not been
embattled, people are really trying to
listen hard, because we really are
split in the church, and people realize
that. If nothing else, “ she continues,
“ we want to feel like we’ve been as
thoughtful to each other as possible
as this goes on. We’re really digging
in and trying to figure this out.”

According to the pastor,

there are at least two lesbian couples
who attend church regularly, but no

Pride at

action, and we didn’t get it, so the
resolution [to support civil unions]

just lay there.”

Asked why, in Vennont,
where civil unions and lesbian and
gay civil rights are law and equal
treatment is spreading, there would
be a need for an LGBT organizing
initiative, Belville said he was
unaware of any specific problems
around gay issues within the union
structure. But, he said, “There can be
plenty of laws on the books to pre-
vent discrimination, but if you, the
worker, are unaware of them or don’t
know where to turn for help, then the
laws may not do much good. We
have to educate people in order to
protect the laws.”

Tenaya Lafore, of the
Vermont Workers Center agreed,
“People still get discriminated
against and harassed at work. One
woman in Rutland was fired for
wearing a tee shirt that said ‘Chick
Magnet.’ LGBT workers might be
accused of sexually harassing others
or be isolated and harassed them-
selves. Pride at Work is trying to
build bridges of supportbetween
these two communities.”

The two unions with the
largest Vermont presence are the

National Education Association

(NEA) and the Vermont State
Employees Association (VSEA) with
roughly 7,000 and 5,000 Vermont
members, respectively. Other unions
with significant Vermont populations
include the Teamsters, the
Independent Brotherhood of
Electrical Workers, American
Federation of State and Municipal
Employees, and the American
Federation of Teachers.

Current PAW chapters
include urban centers such as Boston.
Miami. Seattle. and Los Angeles. as
well as smaller chapters in New
England in Connecticut and Rhod:

gay men have identified themselves
to her. “I think that [the lesbians]
were surprised," comments Sparrow,
“because the way you feel at
Guilford Church is that you would
just assume it would be fine. When
this came up, it had never occurred to
them that it wouldn’t be okay.”

“I’ve always thought we
were an Open and Welcoming
church,” says Houghton, “but they
want to be affirrning of everything,
and some don’t like that because of
their convictions and beliefs. That’s
the real issue, I think, in our church."

‘‘I‘m not sure what form the
final motion will be,” says Ragle.
“The motion could be simply that we
accept blessing Civil Unions in the
church. It could be a broader issue
that we declare ourselves an Open
and Affirming Church. But it will
minimally address the issue of Civil
Unions within the church.” V

Jim Petrie is a native Vermonter who
grew up in Guilford and now lives in
Leicester.

Work

continued from page 1

Island. A chapter is also forming in
New Hampshire. Each PAW chapter
is required to include representation
from three AF L-CIO affiliated unions
as a condition for chapter certifica-
tion. '

Nationally, Pride at Work
has organized opposition to anti-gay
resolutions at corporate annual meet-
ings, such as AT&T’s and
ExxonMobil’s efforts to delete spe-
cific gender and orientation protec-
tions and domestic partner benefits
from their policies.

Hans Johnson, Co-Vice
President of the Baltimore-DC
Chapter, will facilitate the organiza-
tion drive here in Vermont. On June
12th Johnson met with staff and vol-
unteers of the Vermont Workers
Center in Montpelier to plan a kick-
off meeting for this organization
drive.

With their parallel histories
of commitment to social and eco-
nomic justice, Johnson sees an affili-
ation of the union movement with
LGBT workers as a natural fit.
While he noted that Pride at Work is
dedicated to making unions “more
responsive, supportive, and respectful
to LGBT members,” non-union
“members at large” are welcome and
encouraged to participate in local
PAW chapters, too.

The organizational meeting
for the Vermont Chapter of Pride at
Work will be held Tuesday, July 30th
at 6:30 at the Vermont Workers
Center at 38 State Street in
Montpelier. Tom Barbcra, Regional
Vice President for PAW from Boston.
willjoin Johnson in introducing
Pride at Work to Vermonters. All are
welcome to attend. More inl‘orma-
tion is available from ’l'enayL1 I-ul'orc
at tenayapapnyaigghotniail.com. or at
223-5057. You can check out the
Pride at Work website at
www.prideatworkorg. V