letters  

A Different Jane Doe

Yes, at first it was weird for me to
enter an ASO [Aids Service
Organization] and see gay-related
brochures and posters, mostly this was
because it was new to me [Another Side
ofAids, May 2002]. At no time was I
unwilling to have my children to see them
though. I have always felt that I want my
children to have a well-rounded education

‘ about life and I feel that the homosexual

community is part of the picture too. I
was never ashamed when my children
asked questions about the things they saw,
I was only ashamed when that sometimes
I didn’t know the answer to the questions
they were asking because I was untaught.

The only time I have felt
uncomfortable around people is when
they are slobbering all over each other in
public. To me it doesn’t matter if they are
homosexual or heterosexual, I think that
there are things that people should do in
private. I can only speak for myself but in
my ASO, there are posters that reflect
both gay and straight communities.

_ After reading the article I
looked around the ASO office as we are
commonly too busy to be aware some-
times and realized that yes there are some
posters that some might find ofiensive.
However, to my knowledge, nobody has
ever said a negative comment about one
yet and the ASO has received several pos-
itive comments. Might be because there is
such a mix of them.

I agree with the issues [Jane
Doe] brought up that sometimes it does
feel that HIV is put into categories of
women or homosexuals. However I don’t
think that I want another category “for
straights only” created either. I wish we
could all come together and support each
other without these categories. I guess
that would be way more than we could
expect, though.

Being an HIV+ straight person
myself, yes, I wish that there were more
support for the straight community than
there is at this time. I would love to be
able to meet more straight people that are
dealing with the same issues that I am.
However, I also need to point out that I
feel very connected to thevgay community.
I feel honored that they have accepted me
and treat me with friendship, love, and
understandingjust on the basis of who I
am. _

‘ This amazes me as I have not
always felt this way about the straight
community. I find that the homosexual
community is a lot slower to be judgmen-
tal about others. Maybe this is because
they know what it feels like to be judged.
At first I felt like the outsider,_now I con-
sider most of the homosexual community
that I am acquainted with to be my
extended family. They have supported me
through tough times and happy times and
they are always there for me. Is this
enough for me? I don’t know the answer
to that one, but for now I guess it is.

If I was to meet someone thatl
could share my life with that would be
wonderful. But at this point I would need
to have that person accept who I am and
my homosexual acquaintances too. It is
hard because people are not open and
willing to accept a partner that is HIV+. I
guess I like to look at things two ways
and I wonder how accepting I would be of
an HIV+ partner if] was HIV’-. I know
that I would accept the HIV+ but I could
not say if I would agree to being their
sexual partner or not because I havenever
walked in their shoes.

Another Vermont Straight HIV-
Positive Woman.
[Name withheld by request]

Thanks for writing from another point of
view. -158

Shenandoah Murders
Deserved Attention

ulie and Lollie on the front cover of

OITM [Federal Hate Crime Indictment,
May ‘2002]. How many years later? When
the tragedy was just breaking in the head-
lines and our hearts that summer, Pride
Day was nearing, as well as the next
deadline for our paper. Despite the
tragedy and anguish and calls for some-
thing — any gesture, NOW! TODAY! IT
HAS JUST HAPPENED! DON’T YOU
SEE?! — our brothers were unmoved.
There would be no moment of silence at
Pride to mark the loss. No flag at half
mast. No, that wouldn’t do [they said].
‘Too political’ actually. Imagine!

And the paper did carry some-
thing. Eventually. Front page! Hallway
down. Not lead story.

That was to be reserved for
Matthew [Shepard].

Nat Michael
Underhill

I can only speculate that too many of us
have learned too well that women are
‘aIways'victims, so these murders may
not have had the shock value of Matthew
Shepard It later beating and death. In
1996 the issue following June was a com-
bined July-A ugust issue, which may have
contributed to the sense of "eventually. "

Women 's lives matter — there should be no

double standard. — EB

The Church and the
Queers

I agree that there‘s a problem with the
mainstream media coverage of the scape-
goating of gay men by the Catholic right
[Editorial, June, 2002]. But the problem is
not their failure to rebut the imagined link
between homosexuality and pedophilia.
Almost all the reports I've seen do that
reflexively —- it almost goes without say-
ing. Instead they refuse to address the
issue at its core and move on, treating
homosexuality like a hot potato.

The problem is that there is a
link between homosexuality and the crisis
in the Catholic Church, or more specifi-
cally between thevCatholic doctrine on
homosexuality and the crisis. At least
some of the abuse involves adult men:
seminary students and aspiring priests like
Paul J. Marcoux, who was in his 30s at
the time of his alleged sexual assault by a
bishop. I have yet to see reliable statistics
on the ages of the victims, but at least
some were in their late teens and twenties.
If, as some suggest, 20-50% of priests are
gay, it’s not too surprising some of these
would act out and break their vows of
celibacy. Of course it IS still abuse of
power when a priest molests a student or
a bishop molests an aspiring priest, but
it’s not pedophilia.

As I see it, the Catholic doc-
trine on homosexuality contributes both to
the prevalence of gay men in the priest-
hood and to their abusive behavior. In
some ways the ofiicial Catholic doctrine
is more liberal than [that of] some
Protestant denominations. For a decade or
so the Church has accepted the existence
of homosexually oriented people; it there-
fore does not endorse reparative therapy.
Yet gay people are expected to remain
celibate, because sex outside marriage is a
sin, and the church doesn’t accept gay
marriage.

Priests, like gay men [within
the Church], are also expected to remain
celibate (though for them it’s a choice).
Some young gay men, confronted with
the Catholic doctrine that requires them to
remain celibate and teaches that sex with
those they love is a sin, take refuge from
the pressure to marry by joining the
priesthood. Some of them fail to repress
their sexuality. Is it any wonder closeted
and repressed priests who believe their
desires are "objectively disordered"

become psychologically damaged? Is it
any wonder when they harm others? It
seems to me the crisis in the Catholic
Church — or at least part of it — is directly
caused by _the anti-gay doctrine. Out.
happy, well-adjusted gay men (priests or
not) don’t abuse boys — or other men
(unless of course that's what they’re into.
but that’s another topic).

Of course that‘s not what the
right-wingers like Vatican spokesman
Joaquin Navarro-Valls and Catholic
League President Bill Donohue think.

That’s the issue I’d like to see
raised more in the mainstream media
AND in the gay press. We throw the baby
out with the bathwater when we claim
only that pedophilia does not equal homo-
sexuality. Of course it doesn’t, but that
doesn’t mean that there’s no connection
between the Catholic anti-gay doctrine

. and the current crisis in the Church.

Kevin Moss
Montreal / Middlebury

Thanks for a thoughtful response.
— EB

America Could Be Better

Dear David Reid Lowell,

I write in response to your crit-
icisms of my April column, “The True
Colors of the American F ag" [Proud to Be
an American, June, 2002] I want to clarify
my argument and address the issues you
brought up in your own piece. First, I reit-
erate my central point: be careful with
displaying the American llag because
(along with freedom, liberty, and the
American way) slavery, oppression, and
inequality seem to bejust as much a part
ofAmerica. I agree completely that this
country is great and far better than many
other nations. Our freedoms are numerous
and benefits wonderful, but the fact that
certain groups remain privileged over oth-
ers stains life here. I’m thankful that my
first amendment rights let me write what I
think, but I’m not naive enough to believe
that everyone in this country is treated
according to the Constitution.

Men are favored over women
for jobs and higher pay, blacks receive
more than their share of police harassment
and have far fewer opportunities than
whites, and straight people have special
rights that gays don’t. I don’t mean to
draw an absolute parallel between being a
racial, ethnic, or religious minority with
being gay; they are fundamentally differ-
ent identities and suffer different forms of
prejudice. Instead, I draw attention only to
the fact that people suffer at the hands of
others.

In addition, I take issue with
any criticism that strays from my writing
or arguments. My youth, self-esteem, or
socio-economic status (which you. have
clearly perceived incorrectly) are not what
is at issue in my column, my ideas are. If
you care to level a well-argued critique
that can convince me that the war in
Afghanistan actually helps humanity, or
that all Americans have the same opportu-
nity regardless of race, sex, or appear-
ance, please contact me at
janichols@wesleyan.edu.

Sincerely,

Joel Arthur Nichols
Brandon