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Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy
Pastoral Counseling

Individuals & Couples

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802-387-5547

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STATUS? _ 

Les B. Frank:      
“I don’t want to spend all my
‘ time trying to hook up.”

Hey, Mr. Frank! v —

I have been out of college a year and I have a job that I really ’
like. My friends tell me Pm boring because I don’t want to go out with
them all the time. All they talk about is who’s bavingsex with who and
how they can get more sex. I don’t care about that. I mean, I care about
sex but I don’t want to spend all my time trying to hook up.,I would _' ’
rather meet a nice guy to be friends with first and then boyfriends. My 2
friends say that I must not be gay (they think they’re really funny when ~
they say that) or that I am just too dull for words. ' .  M ;_ _

Signed,
Donald
Montpelier

Dear Donald,

You need new friends! __ V

Just because you -seem more settled than many of the guys your '
age and aren’t looking to hump every homo in sight, doesn’t mean that
you’re boring. I know lots of young men who think the way you do. Part

. of the problem, though, is that our gay community is so focused’ on sex. I

would bet that your friends are getting laid a lot less often than they say
and that some of them would find value in your approach.

1 would encourage you to get out more. If only to meet new
friends who can be supportive of the way you choose to lead your life and
who might be good boyfriend material. ~

Hey, Mr. Frank!

My girlfriend’s sister is staying with us, while she takes some
classes this semester. She’s great and I like her a lot but I think she is
questioning her sexuality and l’m not sure how to proceed. I spoke to my
girlfriend and she laughed it off. She said that I think everybody is ques-V
tioning their sexuality. V

I admit to being a little hypersensitive to the issue but my girl:
friend’s sister has been giving me some pretty clear signals and asking
some curious questions.

Signed,

.Margaret,

Bennington

Dear Margaret, ,

You seem to be more concerned about the situation than anyone _
else. We all know that going through a period of questioning our sexuality
can be difficult but it’s a process that we all need to go through in our
own way and at our own pace. » V

I think it’s great that you want to help your sister-in-law discover
her true nature, whether that be lesbian or straight. But all you should
really do is let her know that you are there for her, if she has questions
about anything. Let her come to you and let her find the voice to come
out, so to speak, and be more direct. ' ' ,

After all, if she’s living with you and her lesbian sister, she’s got to
know that that trail has already been blazed and that you and her sister
may have some wisdom from which she can benefit. V ' I

Mr. Les B. Frank offers guidance counseling to people of, all ages. He’s
also butchness consultant to several professional figure skaters. Some
letters are edited for length, spelling or grammar. Send your questions

and requests for guidance to HeyMrFrank@aol.com.