AWIID HAIR Etlcmonoav A HAIR Anov: ‘ms nan: Permanent Hair Removal Hair today gone by summer! When it's time to show a little skin, wouldn't you love to be free of unwanted hair? Start the process now! My specialty is with transgender clientele, but I have worked with everyone, men and women. STACEY CORWELL ' 33 Blair Park, Williston 878-9473 {HISTORIC PRESERVATION} 20 Charming Rooms , Peace & Privacy ‘K7376’ I ‘H1 hlandg ‘Inn E0. Box 118 Bethlehem. NH 03574 603-869-3978 1-877-LES-B-INN (537-2466) A LESBIAN PARADISE 100 Acres 0 Pool wwvmhighlandsinn-nh.com Hot Tub 0 Trails vacation@highlandsinn-nh.com 7 Good legal advice can make all the difference. V Langrock Sperry & Wool offers the services- of 22 lawyers with over 500 years combined experience in all areas of the law — including two lesbian attorneys with special expertise serving the legal needs of the g/l/b/t/q community. SUSAN MURRAY & BETH ROBINSON With offices in Middlebury and Burlington Middlebury (802) 388-6356 Burlington (802) 864-0217 smurray@langrock.com brobinson‘@langrock.com Langrock Sperry & Wool, LLP‘ ATTORNEYS AT LAW . . . . . -. . views: n|:arni|vu agdom has made my life difficult, especial- ly when it came to family and how I related to them. Not to assume of course that the relating is over because I am constant- ly surprised how complex my family really is. The intonation of a hello or good-bye has always - revealed another dimension to our simple salutations. I blamed most of my family for the stress and fear I had that was a result of sensing a difference in me. There are countless sto- ries I can recall of trying to adjust my walk, or adjust the way I spoke, wanting to desperately hide any trace of my more mixed gender. All of this self-loathing cre- ated such a vicious cycle. Teenage angst has paid off well. It was a well- spring of beautifully con- structed poetry about death and dear old friends like of the string finally comes to rest, it is no longer trapped in its endless side- to—side motion. In this balanced state now, interactions with my family have become less stressful and are not weighed down by look- what-you-did-to-me idiocy. My mother has taken the brunt of this behavior the most, but I no longer blame her for my current state of affairs and potpourri of bad habits. I hope to give her a smidgen of peace with my new self; she deserves it. I just discovered a I knew that my experience here would be uncomfortable and awkward at times, but I also knew there would be an incredible gift waiting on the other side of my last issue. razor blades, shotguns, and blood. Guilt was there. Death was almost there. And when I could not explain the despair, my makers were the victims to my projectory. The recognition of an internal balance was the sign that the angst had dis- sipated. I visualized this process functioning as a pendulum does when it is pulled back and set free with the object returning to the other side just as high. When the object at the end new knowledge in a place that 1 least expected. With my decision to leave Out in the Mountains, I have decided to continue to pur- sue my interest in writing, which will lead to a number of sacrifices that I am now ready to make. With thisin mind, I have found a dimension to myself that relates with the experience my mother similarly had when she made the decision to sacrifice any career path that she may have had to join my father in a military Lessons family lifestyle around the United States. I am sure they made this decision being aware of the dead ends that they faced in the Northeast Kingdom here in -Vermont. Did they want their children to have the same unexciting childhood that they had had? Did they want to give their children a chance at rindirg a way to survive with their own cre- ative passion? 4 I feel a sense of res- olution with this new knowledge, a sense of familiarity. I knew that my experience here as editor would be very uncomfort- able and awkward at times, but I also knew that there would be an incredible gift waiting for me on the other side of my last issue. This experience has allowed me to step out of my angst and adolescence, and to under- stand within myself that I am finally a man. In my pursuit for a family and a sense of belonging, I have consid- ered the A-Z community, but blood makes a louder noise now, as do my friends up ahead. Thank you to my family for giving me the opportunity to unfold in this way. Thank you to everyone who raised an eyebrow or two in bewilderment to my manner of expression. Thank you to the secret language I share with only my friends. Thank you to my mother who has repeatedly surprised me with her depth of care and concern. Thank you to con- descending assholes. Thank I you to Brad for irritating ‘ the hell out of me and showing me that I can be - - loved. Thank you to Ghita , and Alan, my writing par- - ents. Thank you to Sky, my phantom limb. , Thank you.-You were the necessary elements to this new freedom. V