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Call Me By My Name

ne of the things about
being a transsexual
transitioning is you

can no longer use the birth
name you were given unless
you had a gender neutral name
and are comfortable keeping

' it, which most don’t because

the name change is an impor-
tant part of the statement that
you’re not your previously
known gender any longer. I
never realized how much my
name is embedded in this
world for who I present
myself as, until I decided to
changeit .
The first thing I had to

decide was which name I
would use. I had used a few
different names in my own
head while I was in the closet
about being transsexual. When
I decided to tell the world
about my “secret,” I realized
choosing a name was a big
decision, as I would use it the
rest of my life. I wanted a
name to express my femininity

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and ’éi‘s*é‘ ib"l'é” id‘ Withl’rri’y‘»llast
name. I am proud of my her-
itage and of having kids, and I
wanted to keep my last name
the same as theirs. I also had
to come up with a middle
name as my old middle name
was the farthest from fem as
could be.

I thought of quite a
few, going through books and
finding the meanings and
where they were derived from.
A few I liked were names of
other family members, and I
decided they might be insult-.
ed. There was enough friction
to my coming out as a female‘
with family.

_ I was born in the
month of April and found out
April means “new beginning.”
The meaning was perfect and
the name sounded pretty. I
now had a first name, but find-
ing a middle name to flow
with April was tougher than I
thought.

After months of pon-
dering, I was at a friend’s
house and asked her. She
came up with a few but they
didn’t flow with the rest of my
name. Her daughter same Zn,
so I asked her, and she just
came out with “How about
Elizabeth?” I ran it through
my head a few times and I
liked it. That was the moment
I became.April Elizabeth. To
this day I like my name. It fits
and feels right. Now, to start

 

to make this official. This part
of my journey has changed the
way people relate to me.

The first thing I had to
do was make April Elizabeth

my legal name. That was rela- ,

tively easy on paper. Finding
the courage to go to county
court and tell someone I want-
ed to change from a male
name to April was the hard
part. On the first try I got to
the door and got scared to the
point I was shaking, turned
around and went home disap-
pointed but determined not to
let my fear_get the best of me,

  day, I walked
up to that door, faced my fears
and opened it. I walked in and
had to do the metal detector
thing and walked to the clerk’s
office. I kept thinking, “This
person is going to think I am
crazy.” I told her I wanted to
change my name and she
handed me a form to fill out. I
filled it out and brought. it
back to her. The sweat was
pouring off my face, I was so
nervous. “I just have to give it
to her and it will be over,” I
kept telling myself.

She looked over the
form and it seemed to take
forever. I was waiting for a
stare ‘of amazement, maybe a
smile holding back laughter.
To my surprise shejust casual-
ly looked at me and said I had
to place the change in the
paper for two weeks, and the
judge would have to look at it.
I handed her the money for the
ad and the name change, $120,
not too bad, and she told me
after the two weeks I would
get the court order in the mail.
For two weeks all I thought of
was all the phone calls I
would get from '§‘"2:r1:ily' and
friends who didn’t know about
my new life. I was amazed
nobody called, no one noticed.

Two weeks later I
received a letter from the
judge stating my new name
was legally April. It was at
that moment that I realized I

really was April, it was no
longer a dream, I was legally
and formally April Elizabeth!

I had a new name but every-
where I looked I was still my
male name: my paycheck, my
social security card, my hospi-
tal records, college transcripts,
everything that had my histo-
ry. My driver’s license had to
be changed. I first went to the
social security office and filled
out a form and handed it to the
clerk with my name change
from the court. I put female
down for gender and thought
she would give me some kind
of reaction. She looked over

accounts, every way I was
identified at work was
changed to April. My manager
deserves a lot of credit
because he did all the running
around and did it so discreetly.
He spent a lot of his valuable
time dealing with it all to save
me a lot of embarrassment.
Next was the main
thing I use for my ID, my dri-

vver’s license. I filled out the

form for a name change and
brought it to the desk. Things
went well until the clerk got to
the gender part. She told me I
had to have a letter from my
surgeon stating all my gender

so transsexuals transitioning to
their new gender are allowed
to change their license gender
once they are more the new
than the old gender and it is
not likely they will ever go
back to being what they were.
It is required to get documen-
tation from your doctor or
therapist stating this is true,
but it will save me a lot of
embarrassing questions I have
needed to answer in the past.
The rest of my name
changes have been pretty easy,
mostly just sending in forms
and copies of letters. I want to
thank Hawk Stone, a therapist

I was waiting for a stare of amazement,
maybe a smile holdingback laughter.

the form and told me my new
card would be in the mail in
two to four weeks and went on
to the 'iiext dustorfier like it
was nothing new. My birth
certificate automatically got
changed with my name change
so that was done.

My next stop was my
work place. I went to my man-
ager at IBM and he took my
letter and social security card
and copied them. That was the
last I had to deal with my
work. Within a few weeks all
my payroll, computer

 

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>> '

surgery was done. She
changed my name because it
was my legal name now but
left the M onimy gender. I I
walked away with a license
with a woman’s picture, the
name of April and my gender
listed as male!

This was right after
Sept. 11 and all that ran
through my head is the fact of
how important it is to not have
questionable ID when you
travel. Only recently has the
Motor Vehicle Department in

A Vermont changed the policy

who presented this issue of the
driver’s license to the state. I

"would like to also thank a spe- .

cial friend ofmine who is a
transsexual and had the
courage to bring the issue to
Hawk Stone in the first place,
and the Department of Motor
Vehicles for being open mind-
ed enough to change a policy

' that had such a negative effect

on us while going through our
required fulltime living as our
chosen gender before we can
get gender sex reassignment
surgery. V

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