Q‘ '57 4%‘ R ”- 5:: 5 Eu $ We paint like girls! 802-338-5511 Michele Palardy lnteriorl Exterior 81 Hood Street, Apt. B Winooski VT 05404 INSURED Polly Menendez MS, PT . Nurturing merapeutic Massage ‘" Physical mempy Fxercise Consuitation For an Appointment Call 859 0788 Burlington VT °<§>°<§>°<§>°<’<>°<§>°°<§>°<§>°<§<>°@> Clifford D. Trott, Jr., Ph.D. Licensed Clinicol Psychologist — Doctorote l68 Bottery Street Burlington, Vermont 05401 802.862.0836 ctrott@together.net °<§‘>°<’§I>°<""§‘.>°<§>°°<”"s.‘>°<’§>°<§>°<§>°_ Susan McKenzie MS. Jungian Psychoanaiyst Licensed Psychologist -— Master Specializing in issues of Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgendered individuals and couples Quechee — White River Junction (802) 295-5533 Insurance Accepted James R. Nelson ~ ' Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (302) 551-7754 PT RA.3v’] II} IS{_) (.1 . __......._‘.._ .*ll.E. i.i....i.-. Will‘ IJFF . {:1I“I‘l". ll [Ii-i;. Burlington, VT 05401 Cscribb/ecs\/\ We offer a fine selection of wedding and civil union invitations and social announcements. Our lznowledgeahle and friendly staff is ready to assist you with evemaspeci: of your we ing ensemble. Scriinlziles talze you from engagement announcements to nlz you notes no left: unattended. 96 C/Jurcb c3Ir2ez‘ ‘Bur/inglon, (Uemzonl G502) aa3—9oo4 — ‘Fax @402) 663-9006 e—mai'/ .scr6l7/.so2‘@ ao/. com I u.- -... .. ...._ - ,._..-..-.-. _-.._ - - - - ..._ -... .-.- -.-._.- - ...-.- ..-_.._....‘.....4...- -4 A Toast to Homophobia wo guys are watching I a football game. One of them hands the other a beer. Their hands accidentally touch and there’s a slight but percepti- ble moment between them. Suddenly they both jump explosively to opposite sides of the couch and talk nerv- ously about their team and whether the coach got the defensive kinks worked out. After an awkward pause, one guy says, “You know what this game needs? More cheerleaders.” The Heineken beer commercial is genuinely funny. It’s on a unique Web site called The Commercial Closet (www.commercial- closet.org), which has a col- lection of over 200 gay- themed commercials. Inventive and imaginative, the site tracks America’s changing views of homosex- uality through the lens of Madison Avenue’s video cameras. more fundamental aspect of my being than my religion (my mother is Jewish, my father Catholic. My true reli- gion is Guilt). It’s also more fundamental than my ethnici- ty (my mot_her’s American, my father is Ecuadorian. My true ethnicity is Confused). I am only partially Jewish and partially Latino, but I am all gay. And yet I laughed. Every time I think I’m as comfortable as I can be about my orientation something like this happens to remind me that maybe there’s a little more internal I’m still. conditioned by how society expects me to react when two men express desire for each other. I was still laughing when I read the site’s con- demnation of the ad and sud- denly I felt this gash of guilt rip through me. Why was I laughing at a commercial that ridiculed the most funda- mental aspect of my being— my attraction to other men? I’m Jewish. IfI had seen a beer commercial ridi- culing synagogues would I have laughed? No. I’m Latino. If I had seen a beer commercial ridi- culing brown skin would I have laughed? No. _ V, I But I’m gay and I laughed at the ridicule heaped on male love. Being gay is a much resistance to my fundamental nature than I thought. After all, to laugh at that commercial without questioning its premise is to buy in to the assumption that tenderness between men is wrong. That when it hap- pens, when society’s dreaded “D” word —— Desire — emerges between two men» the proper response is to sep- arate from each other so it has no chance of being expressed, and then to deny those feelings so it has every chance of being suppressed. _ When I realized what I had _ done—laugh unquestioning- ly—I had to face the fact that I still have not, after years of being out, pulled my own fear and shame out by the roots. Perhaps all I’ve done is mowed them down to nubs. I’m still conditioned by how society expects me to react when two men express desire for each other. The Commercial Closet was built as a creative way to gauge the country’s changing views ofa sexual minority. But it turns out to have an even more valuable function than simply as a sociological device to meas- ure society’s tolerance of the different. It’s also a device that measures your own comfort level at who you are. Do you buy the assumptions of the commercials? Do you agree with their premises? Do you like the way you’re being portrayed in thirty-second mini-movies seen by tens of millions of people? I’ve gone back and watched the Heineken spot again. I still laugh at it, but thanks to the site’s review of it, I came at it with a higher level of awareness. Yes, the commercial is funny, but its message is not. While separation, denial and suppression is an accurate portrayal of how men behave when they’re confronted with the “de—mas- culinization” of love and ten- derness, the spot could have redeemed itself by ending with the guys getting togeth- er. That way it could have accurately portrayed the fear and revulsion of unwanted feelings and shown that there’s nothing wrong with love between men. It’s interesting how a device that measures soci- ety’s views turns out to be a diagnostic measurement for self-acceptance. Going A through the site’s TV com- mercials and print ads, you can’t help but get a deeper sense of who you are and how much work you still may have in front of you to completely accept yourself. I Michael Alvear can be reached at michaelalvear@mediaone. net. 2 .1-am .atx~am-2..-sunny-u-.-u.-um-1--v‘-nit ‘<2 3.-.1. A: re -3 -a>sru»s.-s.-.5 gr--3 1-n":"!‘x 'v'1I".3*2 1 .-I —>*-I :: xv:-»-gs.-=1;--u:x-:~u»m 71:!-‘n.:'I£'n4".‘~z¢ocs:'xn1L‘.&*a’-‘Ir vs