A ra

ith all the negative
‘   things in this world
today, and all the

reasons to complain, I have a
reason to be thankful and I
would like to share it with
you.

I am a male to female
transsexual going through
transition. I decided to go
through this transition and to
remain at my existingjob.
Would IBM be as glbt friendly
as they claim? The last thing I
needed was to lose myjob in
the middle of the most costly
thing I had ever done. I won-
dered if it would affect my
family and my future at work.
I decided it was better than
starting a newjob and the
stress that can go along with
that. I took a month off
because things were slow at
work anyway. I used the time
off to get my records at work
straight, change all my records

and drivers license to my new

name and my new life. It was
not changing my gender, only
the way  was able to express
my gender to the outside
world. I had always been a
woman but that is another
story altogether. It also gave
myjob time to adjust things
and deal with issues such as
what bathroom do I use? It
was time for me to go on
nights and it was perfect tim-
ing so I would only see my
former co—workers at shift
change.

I woke up my first day
and was so nervous. Would
people accept me as a woman?
This was the moment I waited
for all these years. It’s one
thing to walk in and out ofa
store. It’s a totally different
scenario to work side by side
with people for a twelve hour
shift. I must have shaven over
the same spots left of my I
beard ten times in fear I would
have some growth back before
my shift was over. I had pic-
tures in my head of all these
curious people peeking around
corners to see the new sex
change person in there depart-
ment. A

The night before, I
had spent two hours deciding
what to wear to work. Skirts
and dresses were out at least,
because of myjob. My selec-
tion the next day didn’t seem
right so I spent another hour

nscendental  
Expeflence

 

going through my clothes.
Thank God I finally made it
(‘Lit tltc door. It had to be the
longest drive to IBM I ever
had. I kept changing the radio
station thinking it might relax
me. “Ok, I am scared but I can
do this.” is what I kept telling
myself.

I parked as far away
as I could, so the walk would
clear my head of some fears. I
got to the building and started
wondering how many people I
know on this shift. Good
thing my managers door was
close to the outside door. I
walk in with my eyes focused
down the hallway and I was

I asked him if he had a clue
about being Us and he
acknowledged he was as much
in the blind as most of the
population. We talked some
about myself, and I gave him
a contact for the diversity
group at IBM, and he has met
and gotten a lot of information
and books to read from the
group.
After our chat we
went to meet the people I
would be working. I was
amazed that no one knew I
was a transsexual. It is usually
easy to tell from the start if
someone knows about me. My
disclosure usually causes a
curiosity even the best can’t
fight off.
One thing I had to

learn quickly was the accept-
ance of some parts of human

» behavior. No one knew or at

least acted like they knew. I
was met with a friendly smile
women give each other. The
men gave me the courtesy a
woman usually gets from men.
It was that moment I realized I
was working as April and as a

Would people accept
me as a woman?

there and met my second level
manager. He said “Hi April,
welcome to the night shift.”
What? No amazement or
uncontrollable stare of fright?
No, just a friendly and wel-
coming smile.

I was shocked from
amazement that my being a
transsexual was never in the
topic ofthe conversation. I
truly felt as though I was just
a woman who was being intro-
duced to the night shift. He
brought me over to my first
level manager and introduced
me, “Hi, this is April, she will
be working in your dept.” I
had been living full-time as a
woman at home for some time
but to be called ‘she’ at work
was such ajoyous moment for
me.

My first level manager
was just as respectful and
courteous but there was a
sense of curiosity in his smile.

woman.

The worst part to me
of all this has been my imagi-
nation. Since that day I have
come out to a few of my co-
workers, some not being sur-_
prised because I still have
some work to do on my voice.
Some were actually surprised.
But it was my choice when
and how they found out.
Looking back I really don’t
think any oneion my shift had
a clue beforehand, except
management.

I want to commend
IBM for making my work-
place such a comfortable place
to be. It is not perfect because
I do get the occasional peek
around the comer or witness
looks of disgust on some
faces. I do not expect people
to change overnight, but I
found most were supportive or
reallyjust don’t care as long
as I pull my weight. I

“Thanks

 
   

to all at MPM

for your hard work.
I've come to depend
on the paper, website
and list serve to keep

my finger on the pulse

of our

community."

Out in Hardwick

//

Brian Jaffarian
Marketing Consultant

PO Box 927, Richmond, VT 05477
(802) 434-6062 Fax: (802)434-3669

wvvw.al|thebuzzmarketing.com

Providing a full-range of organized, creative and
cost-effective marketing solutions.

THE 
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ROOM

a

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