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Valentine’s Day,

International Style

everal years ago, my sixth
S grade class prepared for a

Valentine's Day party,
complete with selecting cute
cards that we would drop, into
the personally designed, heart-
laden grocery bags taped to the
desks of our fellow classmates.
And my first lesson in love
would come at the high cost of
learning about the prohibitive
nature of l‘amour that spans
beyond international borders.

Yvette La Salle (not her
real name) was my first crush at
the tender age of 11. She only
joined our classroom that
January, as her family moved to
the Great Plains from the city of
lights and love — Paris (France,
not Texas.)

Perhaps it was her for-
eign accent, or the gleam of her
braces when she smiled, but I
thought she was the most beau-
tiful specimen of female beauty
that Nicoma Park, Oklahoma
had ever seen.

Since her first day at
our school, when Mrs. Stuart
introduced Yvette to her new

homeroom, I think I knew how .

love felt. Around her, _I had the
palpitating heart, the clammy
hands, and dare I say, the rising
evidence of male attraction that
only the on-set of puberty can
produce. I was hot for her! So I
wanted just the right way to
express my interest, in the form
of an elementary grade
Valentine's Day card. My
choice was boy and girl puppy
dogs, frolicking on the front of
the card. The boy puppy dog's
eyes were looking longingly
into the big-lashed eyes of the
girl puppy dog. It was bold, but
dammit, I was in love!

When the day of truth
came, I nervously weaved
through the rows of desks in the
fifth and sixth grade classroom
— delivering my cards into all
the bags of my classmates.
(Everyone had to get one; it
was a Catholic school for god-
sakes). I anxiously saved
Yvette's card for last. But taking
my cues from Pepe La Pew, the
bold and sophisticated skunk of
cartoon fame at the time, I
approached Yvette's desk, and
made the drop. I spied her read-
ing all her cards, but saw no
special recognition of mine.

“What's wrong?” I
thought to myself. While most
kids just signed their names to
the impersonal cards (in obvi-
ous preparation for sending hol-
iday cards as adults), I had
added an affectionate and per-
sonal greeting.

Something like, -

 

“You're the best!” as I recall.
Days, weeks went by. Nothing.
I worshiped Yvette from afar.
Only with the approach of our
St. Patrick's Day party, (thank-
fully, sans cards), did I confront
Yvette regarding my love for
her, that could not speaks its
name. I caught her in the hall-
way — on the way from morning
recess to milk and cookie time
— and stumbled through remind-
ing her of my heart-bearing
Valentine's card a month before.
Sensing my discomfort
with the topic and the feelings
that back it up, Yvette let me
down gently by declaring, ‘,‘I
just don't likeyou Tl-IAT way,
G__r_eg_!'.' And, added, “Bes_ides,

episode of Will and Grace, so
that she would not be deported?
This is too often the painful
resort of what gay men and les-
bians must do as well, in order
to keep their new family togeth-
er — except for legitimate rela-
tionships.

Luckily, we have an
organization that fights against
the discrimination of immigra-
tion laws on GLBTS. The
Lesbian and Gay Immigration
Rights Task Force (LGTIRF) —
with 16 chapters and New York
headquarters — works to change
the laws and help the people
hurt by them. They support the
Permanent Partners
Immigration Act (PPIA) spon-
sored by Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-
NY), which would correct the
barriers that same-sex couples
face under immigration policy.
And one of their big events
each year is sponsoring
fundraisers on Valentine's Day
to recognize the struggles of
binational couples and support.
their cause. Besides the events
in New York, Washington and
San Disgorwe °.?_'!_.'€‘ll. sti.pp9ii:.-1.
this cause directly and learn.  (,1.

While straight U.S. citizens
and permanent residents can
sponsor their partners in this
country, binational, same-sex

couples can not.

my family will return to France
this summer.”

Heartbreak!

Indeed, her father, a
petroleum geologist, was only
to return to his job near Paris
that summer, taking my dear
Yvette with him where she con-
tinued to learn her times tables,
while I later learned I was gay.

While I had heartache
at age 11, it's ‘nothing compared
to the pain and institutionalized
discrimination that U.S. immi-
gration laws and policies perpe-
trate on people today. While
straight U.S. citizens and per-
manent residents can sponsor
their partners in this country,
binational same-sex couples can
not. Some binational couples,
who fall in love and hope to
settle in the U.S., mustjump
through unseemly hoops to live
their dream.

Remember when Jack
married immigrant housekeeper
Rosario, on a previous season's

-'Af'; . = y a a.

more through their website at
www.|girtf.org.

The world is growing
smaller. Economic, transporta-
tion and technological realities
have shrunk the distance that
separates us — in both the busi-
ness ventures and personal rela-
tionships that enrich our lives.
And 9/11 will not change that.
So it's time our immigration
laws catch up to recognize the
rights we all deserve.

If Yvetteand I were
older when we met, if she
“liked me in that way” and had
we fallen in love, we could
have overcome the challenge of
immigration laws and become a
couple. But ifl had fallen for
her younger brother Brett
instead, we'd not have been so
lucky. I

Greg Kubiak, the Valentine's
card deliverer, can be reached
via this publication or by e-
mail, GKubiak@a0l.c0m.