/ . r-ir

s - oirm january 2002 VIE\X/S

Gay Holiday Stress Relief

 

BY GREG D. KUBIAK

“Son, don’t forget to pack a suit. We're all going to Midnight
mass this year.”

“That’s great you’ll be at my holiday party. You’re ex, Patti,
is coming with her new girlfriend, too!”

“I know you’re Jewish, but the office voted to attend a
Messiah sing—along for our holiday party. That’s okay with you,
right?” ' ’

“Honey, I hope you haven’t bought me anything for
Christmas yet. I was thinking we should save our money and
go to Gay Ski Weekend instead.”

Do these and other comments" put the “stress” back in your
“disSTRESS” over the holidays? Well, God rest ye merry GLBTS, you’re not alone inyour dis-
may. ,

This month brings about more stress and depression than any other throughout the year.
From shopping, parties, overindulgence, family and shorter days, most of us need a gift certifi-
cate for psycho-therapy and a bottle of Valium in our stocking more than anything else, But
studies show (a.k.a., my cursory review) that possessing the gay genetic code can help you
relieve the seasonal stress syndrome that wrecks havocon straights and gays alike. Yes, research
shows that within our gay chemical makeup, we have the capacity to overcome these top five
contributors to a blue, blue Christmas. '

 

~n

MOMKMM “Me Media MNke,_P,M_e From shopping, parties, overindulgenoe, family and shorter

S,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,_ ,,rr.,,,,,e,_ . days, most of us need a gift certificate for psycho-therapy
vdiw\a\llo\ii.ow\ ’ ' ' ' '
;“,,‘jf,3,,"§,,f.,,,,,,,,,t,,_f,”,fC‘; as > - and a bottle of valium in our stocking more than anything
l'ld\Vld\€O, The Vevmovw Couiwl-vy Si-ore, g else ' I

I07.’ Pvoaluicfiovis, avid, o\° course,
MPM‘s own boillcoirs owio\ l-sl»\‘u+s.

\/°“I‘_e jusg 0‘ CM‘: “way! First off, shopping is a-mandatory exercise that consumes more and more time of us con-
WWWm,,Mi.,,,;.,P,,;¢\e,,,e_A;,,_,,,3 sumers. But think about it. Retail and fashion are supposed to be two of our specialties. So
" after paring down your shopping list, enlisting the help of our brethren in the retail industry, and
' recognizing the real meaning of the season, shopping can be a breeze. Remember,
it’s not the contents or size of the package, but the sincerityrof the giver that puts
the spirit in the season. So, don your Gay apparel and “x” your ex’s off your,l.1'.S.t.

Party invitations are more abundant during December. But whereas our straight
counterparts feel this means taking a gift to the host, coming early, staying late,
and ingesting every nog and Santa cookie in sight, GLBTs have 21 valuable, inbred
sense of how to navigate the sea of the social schedule. First off, generic invita-
tions from your offices’ copier toner supply company or the couple you met in P-
town or Palm Springs this year are not “must go’s” - they can be “just say no’s.”
So feel free to say “non” to that RSVP. (It’s French, look it up.),

And, for those fewer gatherings that you do attend, a bottle of wine for the host
and only one run at thetbar _and buffet will keep your seasonal stress level in
check. One good trick is tovplan a late work—out at the gym after the party. This
will remind you not to stay too long or eat or drink too much.

This of course leads to the third greatest contributor of the holiday blues:
overindulgence. The straight world gave us an over-eating Santa Claus as an exam-
ple of holiday cheer. But this image is supplied by the same straight marketers who
You picked the date. We’ll help pick everything else. ha“ U? the B18 WC and “b“Y‘bY"he‘P°““d_" b”ffe‘3- _

x g . So limit your intake at those fewer functions. And, the next time your Aunt
You’ve spent what seems like a lifetime waiting for this day. And when it comes time to Velma Sends you homemade peanut brittle, sample on piece, write a glowing
register, help your family and friends choose the gifts that will enhance every room in “Thank you” note, and give to rest to a homeless shelter or rest home. (Only if ,
your home for years‘ to come. The Store in Waitsfield offers Vermont’s premier se1ec— their dentures can handle it.) Hint, take yourself out of harm’s way for such over- V 4

tion of gifts that indulge bed, bath, kitchen,»body, and soul. Cookware from All-Clad, eating by scheduling long Winter Walks with a mend or Workouts into your Week
Calphalon, and La Creusett. Cutlery from Wiisthof. Kitchen accessories from Itvu take the place of pames of make You feel lots better.

Cuisinart. And a wide range of linens, serving pieces, antiques, and pottery. We can
even help you choose the perfect gift for your attendants.

 

square nostalgic pegs into real world round holes. Expectations and traditions can 
But we can do more than help your guests select theperfect gifts, we can help you as be 33135 for disappoinunent It took me moving 1:200 miles from ml’ folks before.  
well, with awedding consultant who can assist you in choosing everything from invita- « I1'lY 1'l’10th€I' p21fdOf1€d me ffOm the S.€3S01’l?11 S€l'1t€f1Ce Of hanging Outdoor ll8h.t5-  
tions and flowers to a caterer and photographer. Best of all, in addition to accepting all" As we grow older, new traditions are meant to take the place of older ones. This" : -“J:

The Store has everything you couldimagine, yet it's like nothing you’ve ever seen. It’s to 100ki1'18 800d in dim bar light. We P1311 3I1d.df€SS f0f it thI0Ugh0Ut. the Year-, . :li’i
shopping for the truly adventurous, offering a veritable Wellspring of delights for the _ Wear brighter colors if you must, but don’t let the early sunset get _yOu down. I
kitchen, bathroom, palate, and imagination. A So, even if you haven’t been to Church since John Paul [was just a cardinal, ,.
The Settin ‘ ‘ you’re not over Patti, you work with a bunch of Christiangsnobs, or you’ve already ,_ 
g - i bought your boyfriend at $500 Tiffany ring, just be “out with it” and have YOURself
The Store is located in a carefully restored, two-story 1834 Methodist Meeting House. ‘

_ . a merry little Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza or Ramadan now.‘
In fact, theonly thing more exquisite than our eclectic mix of products is the fascinat— ' _’
ing ways they’re displayed,

 

Greg D. Kuhiale, author, activist and holiday analyst, writes for*ls:éi)eral Gay puh- -
lications. The peanut brittle conrzoisseur can he reached via thispiihlication or hyv
e—maz’l, GKuhz'ale@aol.com. - 1 I ' '

  
 

No matter you are in the arézior out, of town," we are only a phone call away on
The Store Wedding Hotline 1-800-639-8031. " I

. /.\i.,-5i ..l:.-. ‘i

    

 

L- '. _..,.... - -.

   

Family matters. It really does. But Christmas has a reminiscent way of forcing _ 

major credit cards, we’re also happy to, accept all unions endorsed by the State of Christmas,‘ surprise your family by‘ promising a winter weekend Visit in early 2002. A .
Vermont , It’s a way to alter that annual expectation and make way for the-new reality. It’s - 
All the personal attention you deserve is just a phone call away. Why not contact the I one ‘ha‘,V°“’ parents had K? make befére you (lame along’ you  , i_ v ‘ .
professionals at our Wedding Registry today? And start putting finishing touches on And finally’ We an get a htde blue with thashorler days less Sunlight In WW6?‘ I T 5
the day you started dreaming about Years ago_ j . But the good news is that the solstice comes less than a week before Christmas — A 
. ‘I V meaning the days will start to grow longer again and the late sun of Spring is some- 3
The World Comes to Waitsfield A thing to look forward to. But in the meantime, remember that we-are. predisposed