8 ° OITN december 2001 VIEWS

When Your Relationship Ends
the Skin Hunger Begins

BOB GREEN M~A— 

LICENSED CLINICAL MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR

’ . Whispering pines hush in anticipation.
5°"th 3“""“€t°"  (301) 5534390 Despair melts into morning dew.
(8°°) 3305025 Hearts flutter like a butterfly’s first leap.

When a man touches you, life wakes up. Whether
his hand is on the small of your back or the nape of
your neck, there is no slouching in the presence of a
P0".V Menendez M5: PT man's tenderness.

, Words are simply love’s dialect. Touch is its native
pNu,tu,«mq merapeuficmag,-age language. The most powerful word, the most elo-
quent phrase pales to a passing kiss, a parting hug, a _
‘P5135500’ WWW glancing touch. Marinate in a lover's touch long enough and it tenderizes v
- - You feel like ou belon . To him, to here, to this. 
flame Comuuuflon It's only wl}1,en a relaftgionship ends that you understand the power of to:
. Your body rebels at its absence. It wants the flutter, the dew, the pines. f"
F0?‘ an /lP!10l'ntm€"t Ca" 859 07 38 You don't realize how much touching goes on in a relationship until it e,
You don't think about how often your legs are entwined in bed or how long 
hands are clasped on the ride home.» Goodnight kisses, teasing tugs, assuf
hugs — you took them for granted and now there's nothing to supplant them’
Your body is used to touching and being touched, kissing and being kis

R    And now it's going through withdrawals. The long, aching, endless skin hug?

   
  
    
   
  
 
 
  
  
  
  
  
   
 
  
   
  
  
 
   
  
   
  
 

 

begins.

Leah Wittenberg ‘ The hunger drives you out, into the night hoping the darkness will shed s
Licensed Mental Health Counselor light. You drink too much; you drug too much, all because your skin starv_
much. ' 

P hth f"d"dl d »|
Syc 0 erapy or In M ua S an coup es You sit in temporary couches, lay in untenable beds, all so you can feel the:

82 Church St., Burlington. (802)658-9590 ext.4 terflies land, the pines whisper and the morning dew melt. 4 
sliding fee scale V . And they do_ ‘ 
For a minute, an hour, a night.

0%; 0(3) 0(3) 0%; (4% 0%) °<7$/«P cg; o<§> ,,@> When a relationship ends, your body suffers the most. You can distract 
nything with the skin hut.

mind, you can divert your heart, but you can't do a

Clifford D Troll Jr Ph D ex;.;P*fee1i*sPa“3j- 1,   h . h

_ _ _ ’ ’ _ " ‘ ‘ e yearning to ose yourse in a man's touc turns into a crutc .
Licensed ClInlCC1| Psychologlsl - DOCTOFCITG touched becomes more important than the man who's touching you. 
The craving for contact blurs your vision; you confuse surface with depth;
BUrmj1g?O?_]O*\T/:?_/n:|;‘e,feOT54O] can't really ‘see the man in front of you, only his potential to get you throui
802,862 0836 night‘ ~ ‘ ' ' * . ‘ 
_C,rrOfi@',fO émer he,‘ Your body ends up looking at your soul the way your dogs look at their e‘
F g ‘ dinner bowls—with imploring eyes. '5

 ”Didn’t I just feed you last night?” your soul asks in exasperation. It's a 

tion you wouldnit ask of your pets yet you ask it of yourself. As if you ca :
off a man's touch once and never get hungry for it again. »

 
   

 It’s only when a relationship ends that you understand’?
COUNSELING CENTER OF NORTHERN VERMONT _ .
PSYCHOTHERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS COUPLES FAMILIES . power Of l0UCh. YOU!’  rebels at |lS absence. It wa
the flutter, the dew, the pines.

  
 
   
 
  
  
  
  

0 Coming Out  0 Family Issues

- Sexual Identity 0 Separations . _ . 
' Life Transitions ' Endings/1055 Losing the consistency of a man's touch makes you harder, tougher. Yo“-
~ __ _ ' yourself congealing. You withdraw, toughen up, close things down. A ’

I-YD“ G°Y9tte LCMHC ' 3111 MCBFOOIII LICSW But the hunger doesn't really go awa . It 'ust lies in wait. And soon yo 

802 860 6360 802 229 5220 ' - y 1 - A

~ - v - ‘ for, act on and plunge into anyth1_ng that can make it go away. :

You bounce between having no boundaries to having too many. First yo i

MONTPELIER‘ ,_ ,
heaven, then you re in hell. Then you're in heaven, then back in hell. ;

BURLlNGT0N_

 
 

A polar attendant at the Pearly Gates can't make up his mind. V.

Susan McKenzie MS. And you wonder, why is everything too little or too much when you're S:

. . Why do the choices seem so stark? Why 1S 1t gluttony or starvation, bored

Jungian Psychoanalyst Overload? 

Lmensed P53/°h°I°9i5t ‘ Master Why is nothing the only option to everything?‘ 

' ' _ . _ I Finally, you do that awful rowing towards balance, that furious pad.
Specla/’Z”79 "7 '3-W93 Of G3)’, Lesbian, s between nowhere and everywhere, and somehow you steer yourself to C5
Bi-sexua/ and Transgendered individuals and couples waters, 
. _ . If life is merciful your body meets your mind the way the river meet:

Quechee ‘ Whlte RN97 JUnCt'°n (302) 295-5533 . ocean, creating a transition between land and sea, thought and feeling. 1
'”5l-‘Vance Accepted V The ocean's salt stings the river's wounds and creates a new ecology, much;

experience bruises emotions and creates a new consciousness. -

From the still of this estuary you see the possibility of reaching heaven 7
out going through hell. ' T 

You see that the pines, the dew and the butterflies are possible but they.
to be nurtured not hunted; brought forth not chased down. Q:

It's only from this estuary, formed by the peace your soul brokered be ‘
your warring factions, that you see what you could not see before:' Heaven:
creation and not as a quest. ‘ ‘

 James R. Nelson

Licensed Clinical

Mental Health Counselor

(802) 651-7764 Burlington, VT 05401 The author can be reached at michaelulvear@media0ne.net