18 ° OlTl"l October 2001 COLUMNS

  

 

Because our team is dedicated
to providing the best possible servlce
to all people, we are proud of our ties
to the GLBT community.

Specializing in Addison County

George Brewer www.langteam.net Jennifer Ponder
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MK North Professionals

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Ma Vie En J ade

Haveyou ever found your-
self stranded somewhere "and
opened up the kitchen cup-
boards searching for
food...only to find the labels
are missing off of the food
packages or cans? My first
‘unlabeled can adventure’ was
on a rainy afternoon in a half-
lit upstairs closet sitting on the
floor with my friend Scott. We
had broken into his uncle’s

leftover C-rations from his

military tour of duty. We both
kept hoping for canned
desserts. And, after sharing
some cold ‘pressed’ pork and
what we surmised to be his-
cuits, we were rewarded with
cherry cobbler. Scott was nine
and I was ten. His
Grandmother was our next-
door neighbor. Every summer
he and I spent almost every
day together. Scott could build
almost» anything with Legos.
He introduced me to the world
of ‘Star Trek’ and together we
had many imaginary flights on
the ‘Enterprise’. Neither one
of us bothered with gender
assigned ranking during these
adventures. It never came up.
The other neighborhood
kids didn’t like playing with
Scott. He was different. His
body was larger than hisage
might have indicated and he
was legally blind. It was too
bad that I was the only local
child who got to know him.
Scott was an incredible person.
It didn’t matter to him that I
liked to climb trees and read
books. And it didn’t matter to
me that Scott looked different
than other boys his age and
read Braille books. When he
graduated from the state school
for the blind I was honored to
attend the graduation ceremo-
ny with his Mom and
Grandmother. Looking
around the auditorium that
afternoon it was clear that I
was in the minority, not my
friend Scott. It made me smile
for him and all the other grad-
uates. Here was a place where
my skills were lacking. I
couldn’t read Braille, pick out
matching socks by touch -or
build complex structures using
tiny pieces of plastic (with my
sight or without it). In fact,
that day when the two of us
had opened up the unlabeled
cans, we had experienced a
leveled playing field. There
were no labels for me to read.
There were no labels for Scott
to not see. It was kind of fun
not knowing what we were
going to discover. The per-

Beyond The Outer Packaging

by Jade bJoll3e

spective factor was in our
favor that day. Not having a
pre-disposed "acceptance crite-
ria allowed us to have fun with
the unknown.

Labels do matter some-
times. Certain brands of gro-
cery items are preferable to
others. The first time I
brought home generic peanut
butter from the store, -my
spouse ever so patiently
explained the merits of her
favorite brand of pb. The sin-
cerity and length of this oration
could have put any 60 second
ad to shame. In all fairness,
both - of us purchase more
generic than not save for those
particular items where ‘brand’
makes a difference. But, most
of us have a few items for
which a brand label determines
choice.

If only we could think of
ourselves as so much peanut
butter or bottled water, human
labels might be easier to
accept. Labels have been over
extended in usage. The excus-
es of limited time, require-
ments of a chosen belief sys-
tem or any school of thought
cannot overcome the damaging
results when labels do the indi-
vidual work for us. The judg-
ments assigned us depend on
what labels ‘appear’ to belong
to us. Life is so much more
complicated for a human than
a jar of peanut butter, isn’t it?
Can we approach each day,
every new person or known
friend with the adventurous
pleasure of two children open-
ing up unlabeled C-rations?

As adults, we "become
deluded into believing that our
lives are too complicated.
Overwhelming as daily occur-
ances can be, we might wish to
strive for ‘childlike’ openness.
And the most essential step is
to first be open with ourselves.
Some of the deadliest con-
straints I deal with, are self-
imposed. Choices are ulti-
mately mine, no matter what
the situation is...be it my atti-
tude about an upcoming drive
in mid-day traffic or attempt-
ing a new, unfamiliar activity.

Complexity has never been
an adequate excuse for life
being reduced to so many cate-
gories. While I cannot always
claim a high level of achieve-
ment in maintaining the adven-
turous attitude Scott and I
shared in childhood, the effort
to try does not ever stray far
from my consciousness.

The whole addiction to
labels and categories has

 
    
 

‘always seemed ass backward
to me. Labels are defining
tools as are categories. It is a
healthy part of self-discovery
to understand how you define
and identify your self. No one
denies their individuality. Yet
often, we find it more comfort-
able to be identified in cate-
gories. Too often these self-
definitions become the control-
ling factors for us. Being of a
certain persuasion counts so
much more than unique posi-
tioning. Whether it . be
lifestyle, religion, education,
economic status, geographic
location, race, gender or
age....for many people, being
able to ‘assign you’ a category
is imperative. There are gener-
al benefits for us if we obey the
boundaries of our labels. Vote
according to the accepted atti-
tudes of your religious affilia-
tion. Attend the ‘right kind’ of
college. Only socialize with
politically astute individuals.
Mistrust anyone who works in
an office oi‘ doesn’t know how
to fix their own car. Thus there
will be more time to enjoy
other pursuits, leaving respon-
sibility for decisions up to
implied prejudices. And if
anyone who falls in my catego-
ry of ‘not approved for interac-
tion’ wants my attention, the
onus is on them. They will
need to put out an effort ‘prov-
ing’ themselves to me beyond
their assigned ‘label’.

You know this drill. Attend
a party or casual dinner and
how many times will you hear
“so, what do‘ you do?”.
Working a room is a lot easier
skill to attain using labels as
basic guidelines. Depending
on the ‘need of the moment’,
this cuts down on a great deal
of ‘wear and tear’ on you. Just
glance ‘round the room, weed
out the wrong gender, ‘body
type, age and immediately you
have saved minutes on useless
conversations of introductions
with people you will likely
reject anyway. Of course there
are always those pesky indi-
viduals who mess up this effi-
cient system. You have prob-

ably experienced these miscre- —

ants. A portly middle-aged
male dressed in plaids and
stripes, who in reality would
have been the perfect pool
partner for you. What a dirty
trick. No one who looks like

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